Page 144 of Devoted

How could I forget? “Yeah, it fell from the top of a skyscraper right onto the tube. I still can’t get over the fact so few people died. Some lucky fuckers out and about that day.” The silence that followed told me what really happened. “That was you guys?”

“Yes,” Zeke said. “Micah and Nox happened to be in the area when it occurred, so we stepped in. We saved as many as we were able to, and the reason no one knows the truth is because we used compulsion nets. They trick humans into either believing they’re seeing something else, or forgetting us.”

It was so much to take in.

‘Probably because you’re so stupid. Keep your mouth shut or they’ll realise and compel you again.’

Great. Should’ve known it wouldn’t be silent forever.

“Compulsion nets don’t cause this kind of reaction,” Ferry said firmly. “But it’s an excellent point to raise. We all need to be more aware of who we’re compelling and whether there’s any risk.”

I fidgeted slightly as the others continued discussing compulsion nets. The noise level rose slightly; just enough to set me on edge.

“Can you teach us how to lift compulsions?” Nox asked. “It feels like something we should all know how to do, just in case.”

Were the walls getting closer? It felt like it. Everyone felt too close, except Zeke. If anything, he wasn’t close enough.

“It’ll take time, but yes. It’ll probably piss off Lucifer, but don’t worry, I’ve got an in with the guys who hold his leash.”

Everyone laughed loudly, the sound grating over my skin. I didn’t understand the joke, but I was past caring.Too close. Too close. Too close.

Zeke’s hand settled on my knee. I hadn’t realised I’d been jiggling it until he touched it. “Sam, are you okay?”

I flapped my hands on either side of my head, like I was batting away a fly. “Too close. All too close.”

“Is it the compulsion again?” Everyone went silent at the panic in Zeke’s voice. “Ferry, is he —”

“No.” The word was said, not only by me, but by Benji. He’d finally slunk out of the shadows, but still refused to meet my eyes. “He needs space, Ez.”

I nodded, grateful Benji was able to articulate what I was struggling with.

Within seconds, Zeke had me back in his arms and was heading towards the stairs. I didn’t look away from Benji until he was out of sight, but not once did he raise his gaze.

That shame he was experiencing was a feeling I was familiar with. I’d lost count of how many times I’d fucked up with someone, accidentally offending or hurting them when I’d been trying to do the opposite.

Yes, I was grateful for Benji. And when I was feeling calmer, I was going to make sure he knew how much.

Right there and then, I made it my mission to make sure no one in my life felt like that. I couldn’t do it for myself, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t do it for others. I wanted them to understand that they might not always get it right, but that didn’t automatically mean they were in the wrong.

Starting with Benji.

32

Ezekiel

Sam was silent as I carried him into our suite. I hesitated for approximately half a second before choosing my bedroom. The bed was unmade from when we’d left it earlier.

Before everything had changed.

It had been an exhausting morning for me, so it was no wonder Sam was struggling.

Sam immediately snuggled down, lying on his side and bringing the duvet up to cover his ear. He tried to move it again, but huffed.

God, he was adorable. “What are you trying to do, Sam?”

“Burrito,” he muttered. “Want it tucked in.”

Like the bath.He wanted to feel fully surrounded. A safe cocoon for him to hide in. It was an odd choice, given he’d felt everything was too close a few moments ago. I was quickly realising that there were times when Sam needed me to fight his OCD and anxiety with him, and others when I just needed to do whatever would make him the most comfortable.

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