Page 101 of Devoted

“Then my answer is yes.” I nodded firmly. “Clearly, I need the exercise, and you need to walk off your mood. So let’s go.”

He didn’t say anything, just fell into step beside me as we continued towards the woodland. Our knuckles brushed against each other a few times, and when it became apparent he wasn’t going to make that move, I did.

Lacing our fingers together, I squeezed his hand firmly, trying to convey what I was thinking.Yes, you fucked up. No, it’s not a dealbreaker.

So long as you explain why.

Like I’d said, if I believed Zeke’s violent temper could be aimed at me, or somehow get me into trouble, then I couldn’t stay. I wouldn’t. Deep down though, I didn’t believe I was at risk. Everything he’d done, everything he’d told me, it all hinted at something deeper. A reason why he behaved like this.

After we’d been walking for thirty minutes or so, I finally broke the silence. “Feeling calmer?”

The tips of Zeke’s ears turned red. “I wish you hadn’t seen that, I really do.”

“That’s not what I asked. Are you feeling calmer?”

He gave a small huff. “Yes. I was ninety-five percent there as soon as you touched me, but I have to admit, this walk has rounded it up to an even one hundred.”

“Good. I thought taking a lap would help.”

His eyes darted to me. “Is that what we’re doing?”

“That was the plan. I spent several summers as a teenager watching the local rugby team play. Whenever a fight would break out, the coach would make them take a lap.” I squinted into the distance, seeing nothing but endless trees ahead. “Figured the same approach might work here, but this place is fucking ridiculous. Just how much land is there?”

“About five hundred acres,” he muttered.

“Fivehundredacres? Fuck me, that has to be as big as Richmond Park.”

“Not quite.” Zeke laughed, the sound a refreshing reminder of him, the man I’d grown to know. To…like. A lot. “I think Richmond Park is likely in the thousands.”

“Okay, so maybe not a full lap then. My cardio isn’t up to that.”

I waited for him to make a joke about ways he could help me improve my cardio, but none came. Instead, he continued walking at the same steady pace, his eyes fixed on the far distance.

“So, about earlier.”

“I’m sorry,” Zeke repeated immediately. “That should never have happened. If I could take it back, I would.”

“I believe you.” I did. There was no mistaking the earnestness in what he was saying. “And honestly, given what you’ve told me in the past, I wasn’t surprised. But what I’d like to know is why you’re like this.”

Zeke stopped walking. “What makes you think there’s a reason?”

“There is.” I moved so I was standing directly in front of him. “There has to be, Zeke. I know you, I know this isn’t you. Or rather, it’s not who youwantto be. You wouldn’t be feeling so ashamed right now if there wasn’t a reason behind all this. If there wasn’tmore.”

His throat bobbed. “I haven’t told anyone. Ever.”

“Maybe it’ll help if you do.” I inclined my head in the direction of the house. “Maybe it’d even help your friends stop being such dicks if they knew. Perhaps they’d respect your boundaries if you opened up about it.”

“I heard what you said to the twins. I don’t think anyone has ever stuck up for me like that before.”

“I’ll always stick up for you, Zeke. Even if you’re in the wrong. Which, to be clear, you were back there.” He winced at that, but I continued. “Violence isnotthe answer, Zeke, but I can see why you reacted that way. They pushed and pushed at you until you snapped. It doesn’t make what you did okay, but I understand how you got there.”

“It’s no excuse, I know, but I was worried about you,” he said quietly. “I want you to feel comfortable here.”

“And I do, for the most part.”

Zeke looked at me questioningly so I continued with a sigh. “I feel as comfortable as I can given I’m in a house full of almost-strangers. It’s only been a day, Zeke. Give me time.”

He grunted. “I can do that.”

---