And everything would go back to normal.
I just had to hold on and enjoy the ride while it lasted.
14
Nox
Ididn’t know where this thing with Micah was going, but I couldn’t stay away from him.
It wasn’t because of the bond, either. No, it was because ofhim.The angel who was funny, sarcastic, and more than a little lonely. Who’d devoted millennia to leading his unit. Who had almost no life outside of it. Who listened to every story I told him with rapid fascination. Who hoarded each morsel that I dropped about myself like it was sustaining him.
The angel who’d turned up one morning with a still warm pastry in a Stohrerpaper bag. He’d flown over to Paris to pick it up simply because I’d mentioned it once.
I ate that pastry slowly, savouring every mouthful as Micah watched me bashfully from the corner of his eye. He didn’t want any thanks for it. Just wanted to do something nicefor me.
Nobody had done that for me before. Ever.
Without even realising it, I’d made it my mission to show Micah the life that existed outside the confines of his heavenly purpose. The world I’d yearned for whileI was trapped downstairs. The experiences and adventures that lay around every corner, if you knew where to look for them.
Something happened to me whenever Micah smiled, and I’m not talking about the condescending smirk he wore so often around me at first. No, his real one. It sprouted slowly, almost shyly, before blooming over his face.
The first time I saw it, it took my breath away. Every one since had had the same effect.
We were spending all this time together, but we both knew it would come to an end. It had to. And strangely, not because we hated each other. I think it had been a while since either of us had felt that way. Our barbs were softened with smiles, our taunts caught up in teasing.
We were flirting not just with each other, but with something bigger than either of us. Something that would have repercussions I knew we wouldn’t survive.
They wouldn’t allow it. Micah had said it enough for me to know that was true.
Instead we were hiding in this pocket of limbo, waiting for the real world to come crashing in. The one thing weweren’tdoing was anything sexual. Micah had tried to initiate it a few times, but I couldn’t go there.
I didn’t want to fuck him like I hated him, because I didn’t. I didn’t hate him.
I wanted to worship him the way he deserved. Lavish the praise on him that he was crying out for. To kiss every inch of him while I whispered every way I wanted to take him. That I couldn’t believe my luck that he hadn’t been snatched up centuries ago.
I couldn’t be with him in that way, so whenever he hinted at it, I shut it down. I pretended not to see the rejection in his eyes. To not notice how closed off he’d become. Iknew he thought it was because no one wanted him, that no one ever picked him.
I would.I wanted to grab his collar and scream it at him.In any other world, you’d be the one I’d choose. Every fucking time.
But we weren’t in any other world; we were in this one.One where Micah answered to a higher power. A higher power who would never let us be together.
The whole principle confused me. What was the point of us being fated if we were doomed from the start? Was it not God who decided these things? If it wasn’t, then who was it?
I didn’t know the answer to any of those questions, and even if I had, it wouldn’t have changed anything.
Not for us, anyway.
Micah was on the back of my bike, his arms tight around my waist. Secretly, I loved the way he clung to me on these rides. It wasn’t like he needed to—his balance was far superior to a normal human’s, as was his reaction time. Even if he did fall, he wouldn’t be hurt.
None of that seemed to occur to Micah. He held on as though he might slip at any second.
Or maybe it had occurred to him. Maybe he just enjoyed the excuse to press himself against me.
I know I did.
Tonight, he was quieter than usual. His unit had been at the Climate Conference all day, on hand just in case any demons decided to influencethe event. To lead the humans down a destructive path that would accelerate the death of the planet.
I’d laughed when he’d told me. I was willing to lay down good money that the vast majority of demons didn’t even know about the event, let alone were interested inattending. Besides, why would we contribute to ruining the climate of the one place we actuallylikedspending time? It made literally no sense.