Page 27 of Conflicted

He shivered as my fingers brushed over his crease, and now I was the one smirking. “Yeah, I think this hole is going to be mine. For now, at least.”

6

Micah

I’d lost my mind.

I didn’t know if Nox had planned to drive me to insanity by suddenly keeping a low profile, but it had worked. I’d been unable to focus on anything else for the past few days, constantly checking the feeds to see what mayhem he was up to now.

The answer was always nothing.

I’d been reduced to flying over the townhouse he shared with several other demons in the dead of night. It was the only way I could check that he was where he was supposed to be, and not creating yet another mess for me to clean up.

That was the only reason. Obviously.

It was the same reason I’d set a ward around his house, one that would inform me when he left it. The same reason why I’d walked out in the middle of a meeting with the entire unit. The same reason why I’d followed his trail to the club.

It couldn’t be said that it was the same reason why my face was pressed against the dark and dirty brick as a sharp breeze washed over the bare skin of my arse.

Why a demon was slowly fucking my hole with a solitary finger.

No, it had to be that I’d lost my mind. It was the only thing that made sense.

I didn’t know what had made me snap in the club. Nox seemed to have a way of getting under my skin like no one else could. He could zero in on my weaknesses and flaws without hesitation, playing them like a fiddle.

The most ironic thing about the whole situation was that Ihadn’tbeen thinking about Dimitri while I watched him in the club.

No, all my fury was being fed by jealousy. Jealousy because others were touching him. Jealousy that even as his fated mate, I wasn’t enough for him.

It made no fucking sense. I didn’t want Nox. We weren’t ever going to be together.

But deep down, knowing even my fated mate wanted anyone else over me?

Yeah. That fucking hurt.

It’d be a cold day in Hell before I admitted that to Nox though.

That was the thing about angels; the thing Nox fully bought into. Everyone believed we were flawless. That we didn’t experience base emotions such as jealousy and pettiness. But that wasn’t true. We were made in God’s image, just as humans were. The difference between us and humans lay in our ability to control those emotions. In being able to assess a situation logically and decide the right course of action based on morals and ethics.

Even then, we didn’t always choose the right thing. I’d done many things in the past that I wasn’t proud of.

And I was about to do another, right here in this dirty alleyway with a demon.

There wasn’t a single part of me that wanted to stop it.

He was easing a second finger inside me now, his other hand roughly stroking my cock. I panted loudly, his grip just on the right side of painful. My fingers spasmed against the brick. I was thankful that I had an excuse to not touch him. I’d only embarrass myself. The kiss we’d shared had demonstrated how quickly Nox could erode my famous self-control.

I was also thankful for how he was focused on my lower half. Obviously, I’d kept my shirt on, but I didn’t want him touching me there. The only pain I wanted to feel this evening was from his cock stretching me wide.

That was the main reason. It wasn’t like Nox would care about how I’d got the scars, but he’d undoubtedly find something to say. I didn’t want him to interrupt this with snide comments about how they should’ve punished me more for my failures.

No, I didn’t want to do anything exceptfeel. I wanted to forget everything. Dimitri not choosing me. Losing a member of my unit and having to replace him. The lashing of Emilio’s whip. The weight of being the leader of the Seraphim. The responsibility of being God’s most feared soldier. I wanted to forget it all. I wanted Nox to ruin me. To make it hurt. To fuck me until I forgot that anything existed except for what he was doing to me.

For the first time, I wanted to not be in control.

“How does it feel?” Nox taunted me, nipping at my earlobe. “Knowing it’s a demon making you moan? Does it make you feel dirty? Ashamed?”

Surprisingly, it didn’t. Again, not something I was going to tellhim. “It’d feel better if you’d hurry the fuck up and get your cock in me.”

---