Page 86 of Conflicted

“Are you sure?”

I nodded curtly. “I’m doing this of my own free will. I don’t want or need your protection.”

Dimitri nodded. “Okay, I think that’ll work. I’m going to check with Dagon and the others first though. Can you wait until I give you the go-ahead?”

I nodded, taking his phone as he held it out and adding my number.

“You know, if it escalates, the deal might be enacted anyway,” Dimitri said warningly. “If you find yourself in a situation where you’re not prepared to give up your immortality, we’ll have to come and save you.”

When I laughed, it was without mirth. “That’s not going to happen, believe me. I’m gonna execute the fucker who’s hurting Micah and give up my own life in exchange.”

“Your funeral, I guess,” Dimitri said under his breath. “Have you told Micah about this?”

Was he mad? “No. He’d try and stop me. I think he believes he’searnedthese punishments.”

Dimitri’snostrils flared. “That’s fucked up.”

“Exactly. So, no. He’ll find out when everyone else does. By then, Heaven will have had me executed anyway.”

“Have you thought about how this is going to affect him?”

I frowned. “Obviously. That’s why I’m doing it—to make sure he’s safe in future. To remind the higher-ups that they aren’t above judgement being passed on them. Hopefully it’ll teach them to respect their soldiers instead of torturing them.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Dimitri leaned forward over the table. “Have you thought about how losing you will make Micah feel? You’re his fated mate, Nox. You might not be bonded, but there must be some pretty strong feelings between you if this is what you’re about to do.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said hoarsely. “I need to do this. Micah might think he wants me, but it’s just the bond. Once the pull is gone, he’ll get over me. He’ll find someone to love who deserves him. Someone who’s worthy of him.”

“Sure that person isn’t you?”

The rope around my chest tightened. My soul wanted to scream that I could be that man for him. That I might not deserve him, but I’d spend every damned day trying tobeworthy.

But that wasn’t on the cards. Not for us.

Someone else would be that for him. As much as it fucking gutted me, it didn’t matter. So long as Micah was happy, that was all I wanted.

“It can’t be,” I said finally. “You know that. There’s no future that would end happily for us.”

Dimitri didn’t say anything. Like me, he knew it was futile. Even on the very small chance that they allowed us to be together, they wouldn’t let him remain on the Seraphim. And despite how difficult he found being leader, I knew Micah loved it. It gave him a sense of purpose that he’d be lost without.

I wouldn’t make him choose between me and his unit.

“Will you…” My words faded and I had to clear my throat and try again. “Will you check on him? Make sure he’s holding up okay?”

“Of course,” Dimitri said softly. “He might not let me, but I’ll find a way. God knows he’s protected me enough over the millennia. It’s about time I return the favour.”

Micah probably would have thanked him, but I wasn’t about to. Dimitri was right; it was his turn to look out for Micah. “Good. Now, I need your help to figure out who the fucker is who’s made my kill list and how to find them.”

It didn’t take long to narrow down the contenders. The mention of the whip took it down to one.

“Emilio is definitely cruel enough,” Dimitri said darkly. “Are you certain that’s what was used?”

“Absolutely.”

Not only was it Emilio’s preferred weapon of torture, it was mine too. I had little doubt that he knew how to wield it—the scars on Micah’s back proved that—but at the end of the day, Emilio was an angel. I was a demon.

No one knew how to deliver punishment better than a demon.

Dimitri gave me a rundown of the places Emilio liked to haunt while on Earth. “He spends more time here than upstairs, so you should have luck at one of these.”

---