Page 59 of Conflicted

He pulled to a stop. I glanced around and realised we were back at the compound. How had the time passed so fast?

“If the person I was in love with didn’t want me, I don’t think I’d be this gracious about it,” he said.

I scoffed. “Oh, trust me, I wasfarfrom gracious. I tried repeatedly to break Dagon and Dimitri up, and that’s before you even take into account what I said to him that day in Hell. Believe me, Nox, angels and demons are no different when it comes to love.”

He blinked slowly. “Yeah. I’m starting to realise that.”

A spark seemed to hang in the air between us, charging it with something I was unfamiliar with. Something I didn’t quite understand.

“You should go,” Nox said abruptly, breaking the moment. “Here. This has been buzzing like crazy.”

He passed me my phone but I didn’t bother to look at the screen. “Thank you. For today, I mean. I think I needed it.”

Nox tapped his fingers on the wheel. “I’ve added my number to your contacts. Next time you want to escape, you know who to call.”

I was halfway out of the car before I processed what he’d said. “How’d you know I needed to escape?”

He gave me a tight smile. “Like you said, angels and demons aren’t that different. Like recognises like.”

Nox pulled away, leaving me at the kerb staring afterhim. How was it that Nox was able to see what I tried so hard to hide with ease?

Because he’s the same,my mind whispered.Nox knows what it’s like to feel trapped. To want something more.

That thought sent a flash of warmth through me before it was doused by the ice of reality.

Nox and I could connect all we wanted. It wouldn’t change anything though.

Heaven wouldn’t let me take a demon as a mate. They liked to tout the party line that fated mates were a protected sanctity, but I’d seen firsthand how false that was. The Grim Reaper had been kept apart from his mate for four millennia. The only reason he’d chosen to fight for Lucifer was because Heaven had refused to let him live topside with the one he loved and was bonded to.

Dimitri had escaped the ire of upstairs purely because his demonic mate was a son of Lucifer. They couldn’t punish him without triggering Armageddon.

Me though? I didn’t have anybody to fight my corner with me. Sure, the Seraphim might want to back me, but I wouldn’t let them. It’d be a blow for Heaven, but they wouldn’t hesitate in executing all of them just for standing up to them.

Emilio had told me this many times before. It was one of the reasons why they had never learned of the days I spent in his lair.

I shook myself, spinning on my heel and briskly walking to the compound.

It was ridiculous to think of things that’d never happen. Nox would never be mine. He didn’t want me. Not thinking about that wasn’t the challenge though. It wasn’t what was terrifying me over everything else.

No, it was the slowly dawning knowledge that I might want him…even if I couldn’t have him.

The constant, relentless pressure returned the instant I stepped over the threshold of the front door. After the time I’d spent with Nox though, it was easier to bear than it had been in centuries. My mind felt clearer, my focus sharper.

If it had lasted, I would’ve rejoiced. But it didn’t.

Two days later, I found myself bowing under the pressure once more. I knew I shouldn’t message him, that it would lead nowhere good in the long term.

I fucking knew that, but I did it anyway. The feeling of peace he gave me was too addictive.

Nox didn’t question me, just rocked up on his motorbike.

I didn’t ask him where we were going, just slid on behind him and tried desperately to stop myself from getting hard.

Obviously that was impossible. He was on a fucking motorbike. He even had a leather jacket on, for fuck’s sake. It was as though he’d peeked inside my brain, found my darkest fantasies and set about making them come true.

If he fucked me while I was bent over it, it might kill me. I had to bite my lip to stop myself suggesting it. Not that Nox would’ve minded. From the way he reached behind me to yank me closer to him, my erection nestled against his taut rear, he enjoyed the effect hehad on me.

He’d driven us down to Brighton, where we wandered along the beach for hours. We talked about everything and nothing. Places we’d visited over the years. Who was most likely to start a fight in our respective households. What our favourite foods were. A documentary Nox had watched that he hadverystrong opinions about. Which of our friends we could never introduce because of the carnage that would ensue.

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