Page 43 of Conflicted

He narrowed his eyes at me. “I know what you’re doing, little angel. You think you can rile me up into fucking you and letting this go.”

“You’re right. I do think that.” I let go of my legs, wrapping them around his waist and using them to haul him closer. “So are we going to do this or not?”

He leaned down to grab the discarded lube packet, using the remains to slick up his fingers and cock. “We’re doing it, but I’m not going to let this go, little angel. I’m going to get you to open up, one way or another.”

I was silent as he stretched me some more, trying desperately not to ask the question burning in my mind. As he lined himself up against me, I couldn’t contain it anylonger. “Why? Why do you care? That’s not what this is supposed to be.”

Nox froze, and for a moment, I saw the confusion that had been haunting me mirrored on his face. “I don’t know.”

He surged forwards before I could answer him, and my back bowed as my mouth formed a silent scream.

Nox gave me a moment to adjust, waiting until I nodded. Then there was no more waiting. Nox fucked me exactly like he had in the alley. Hard. Rough. Unforgiving.

The difference this time was that I could see his face.

We didn’t kiss. Didn’t speak.

We just stared at each other, the same unanswerable question on both of our faces.

What the fuck are we doing?

I tried to find that emotional distance, the one I wore like armour to stop my heart getting broken again. To stop me walking towards a man who I knew didn’t truly want me.

Dimitri hadn’t wanted me as he’d been fated to two others. Nox only wanted me because fate had decided so.

I wasn’t sure which was worse.

I focused on all the physical sensations. The sweat dripping down my face. The strange but addictive feel of his piercings inside me. The screech of the metal table on the roof.

I clung to it all, letting it ground me. This was sex. Just sex.

That was when Nox leaned his forehead against mine.

And my grip on reality started to slip.

“Is this the best you can do?” I whispered desperately. “I thought you were going to ruin me.”

He snarled, his hips snapping back and forth more ferociously. His weight was pressing me into the table, thepleasure of my cock pressed against him distracting me from the pain in my back. “I am ruining you, little angel. I’m not going to stop fucking you now. I’m the only one who’ll give you what you want. What you need. You can hate me all you like, but no one else will make you feel like this. No one.”

I came with a shout, my arms and legs holding him close. He followed me moments later, his movements stuttering.

As he lay against me, panting, my fears built to an almost unbearable level. My emotions were playing tug of war in my chest, one side urging me to shove Nox away while the other begged for me to hold him closer.

I knew which one I was going to listen to.

Nox turned his head to the side, pressing his lips to my neck. “Are you ruined enough, little angel?”

Yes. I was completely and irrevocably destroyed.

And I needed to leave.

“Get off.” Fear sharpened my words like blades. “We’re done. Move.”

Nox lifted his head to look at me. “So that’s it? We’re done and now you’re leaving?”

I hid myself behind the walls that had taken centuries to erect. “Yes. Hate sex only, remember?”

Hurt flickered in Nox’s eyes before he hid it behind his own walls. “You’re certainly doing a good job of reminding me why I hate you.”

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