Page 14 of Conflicted

It was strange. We’d effectively been incarcerated for years, only to one day be handed the keys to our prison. But there’d be no halfway house. No explanation of how to fit into society. We may have been freed, but that didn’t mean it was easy. The five of us were fumbling our way through, trying to figure out what came next. What we were supposed to do now.

Quill dealt with it by hiding. Dahlia by searching for her absent mate and taking her frustrations out on Quill. Jeremiah by fucking everything that moved, and Darius by disappearing on his own for days at a time.

As for me? I survived the same way I had in Hell.

By focusing on one day at a time.

The biggest adjustment to not living in Hell wasn’t an emotional one, but a physical one. Demons drew their power and strength from sin. For those like the sons ofLucifer, or Ferry, one of the original fallen, sin was something they needed little of. A petty misdemeanour would be enough to see them through a week.

For the rest of us, we needed a steady stream of sin to keep us running at full steam. Back in Hell, it wasn’t something we needed to think about; we were literally surrounded by sinners. Topside though, we all noticed how quickly we became drained. It was one of the reasons why I kept trying to encourage Quill out of the house, and why Dahlia wasfussingover him. He hadn’t stepped outside since the day we’d moved in.

It was starting to become noticeable. His movements were sluggish and his rate of healing slower. It probably didn’t help that he and Dahlia kept beating the shit out of each other, but honestly, we had no idea what to do. Quill only showed signs of life when going a few rounds with Dahlia, which was probably one of the reasons why she rose to his antagonism so readily.

None of us knew what would happen if Quill abstained from sin much longer, nor did we want to find out.

We didn’t love each other. I wasn’t sure demons were capable of that, despite what the sons of Lucifer might argue. But the bond between us had been forged in fire and blood. We’d fought and died for each other. We weren’t going to let any of us fail now we had the future we’d dreamed of within reach.

Hence our concern about Quill. It wasn’t even like it was hard to find sin. Humans sinned every few minutes without even realising. Lust, pride, envy…all of them fuelled us. You could guarantee a small hit without having to stray far from our front door.

Tonight I wasn’t after a small hit. The pull I was trying so hard to ignore was becoming unbearable. My theory wasthat maybe I could drown it out with sin. If I was running at full strength again, maybe I could forget about it.

Abouthim.

I’d spent centuries wondering what this feeling was, this constant sensation of missing…something.Longing for it, even.

Now I knew, and wished like fuck I didn’t.

It was comical, really. I wasn’t like the sons of Lucifer, searching for a life here so I could try to forget my heritage. I didn’t want to pretend I was human. I was a demon, through and through.

All this time, I’d wanted to befree. Part of that freedom meant embracing who and what I was to the fullest. It didn’t mean suddenly getting over the idea of angels being my natural born enemies and getting into bed with one. Especially one who’d lived the most charmed of lives. I’d seen the place where he and his unit lived. It wasn’t a house, it was a mansion, plain and simple.

So, no. I wouldn’t be fucking the angel or anything else the pull might entail. That was what I called it.The pull.

I wouldn’t name what it really was. Not even to myself.

Parking my bike outside the casino, I sat the helmet on the seat with a smirk. Hopefully someone would steal it. That sin could be like the after-dinner mint following the five-course meal I was about to devour.

Striding for the entrance, I threw my jacket in the direction of the coat check girl. Without waiting to see if she’d caught it, I entered the casino. The hum of noise immediately made me feel more at home.

Not as much as the sin though. A lazy grin pulled at my lips as it washed over me, flames tingling under my skin. Oh yes, this would do nicely. Nothing worked as well asgreed…aside from lust. Maybe after this I’d hit up a strip club.

Of course, I could have taken a leaf out of Jeremiah’s book and taken a human home for the night. Lust was good as an observer, but if you were the one causing it?

It was like being starved and then set loose inside a sweet shop.

Unfortunately, my cock hadn’t been interested in a single human we’d come across. It was weird; I’d never had this before. Men, women, enbys, humans, supes…all of them turned me on.

The past few weeks though, there’d been no one. My dick remained resolutely uninterested. And believe me, I’d tried.

So, as fun as a fuck sounded, it was unlikely to be on the agenda tonight.

I eyed the tables, trying to decide what I fancied. There was a promising frisson coming from a young man at the blackjack table, beads of sweat coating his upper lip, but I dismissed him almost immediately. From the holes in his shoes, I was willing to bet that the chip he was laying down with trembling fingers was his last.

No, I wanted something that was going to last longer. Something to really get the juices flowing. My gaze fell on a high-stakes poker game.Bingo.

Everyone except the dealer looked like they’d walked straight out of the financial district and into this casino. From the sneers they all gave my casual clothes, they weren’t keen on me bringing down the status of the table with my poverty.

Joke was on them—I was probably richer than all of them combined. It was easy when you were a demon whohad no moral compass and considered theft a leisure activity.

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