Page 25 of After Class

"You're full of shit!" I yelled, trying to shove him away. Instead he grabbed my arms painfully, pinning me back against the wall. Again I wanted to scream, but the sounds were stifled within me, intimidated into silence.

"Don't worry, Cass," he hissed, his breath hot on my face. I couldn't look at him. I was staring at the floor, waiting, hopingdesperately he would leave.Just leave me alone. Just leave me alone please."I'll make sure that perverted asshole gets what's coming to him."

"Leave him the fuck alone," I pleaded, anger and fear making me sick. I couldn't be weak.Don't be weak Cass! But he was stronger. I couldn't move. I couldn't fight him. I couldn't doanything.

"Why should I?" he laughed. "Remember, I stillcareabout you, Cass. I don't want to see you get your reputation ruined."

He was relishing how scared I was. The power he had over me. "Why do you care what I do?" I said, trying not to let angry tears run down my cheeks. "Why does it fucking matter to you?Youchose to leave me, Ethan. So why can't you just leave me alone? You don't care about me, don't pretend like you do! Just leave me and Adrian alone!"

"You and Adrian?" he mocked. This time he forced his hand on my face, stroking along my cheek in a rough, possessive way. "I just don't want you jumping into something before you're ready. I know the breakup was hard on you. I know, if you had the choice, you'd still want me back."

I tried to turn my face away, tried to shrink from his touch as much as I could. "You're crazy," I said, staring at the far wall, refusing to meet his eyes. "You're fucking crazy, Ethan."

He jerked my face towards him, his fingers pinching hard into my cheeks. I strained against it, but it was pointless. I stared up into his eyes, vibrantly blue and horrifically cruel.

"You can't just forget about me, Cass," he snarled. I knew what was coming, and I knew I couldn't avoid it. Even anticipating it, it didn't make it an easier when his mouth crushed down on mine. The taste of his saliva was bitterly familiar. I immediately wanted to vomit. The second he let me go, I shoved him hard in the chest and stumbled away. My face was hot with tears.

"Get the fuck out," I said, jabbing my finger at the door. "Get the fuck out before I call the cops."

He left, slamming the door behind him. I rushed to it immediately, throwing the deadbolt and crumpling up into a heap on the floor, my face buried in my hands. There was an overwhelming tightness in my chest that didn't allow me to breath, let alone manage to cry beyond the silent tears streaming down my face.

I had to call someone. I had to get up. I had to find Charles. But I couldn't bring myself to open the door. I was scared to go out, scared he would still be there. Was I supposed to call the police? I stumbled over to my phone, blurry through my tear-filled eyes, and saw a text from Adrian.

Sorry I got off so late. How's your day?

I broke down in deep, hard sobs, somehow managing to press the call button. It rang twice, and then Adrian's voice came over the line.

"Hey beautiful," he said. "I've been thinking about you all day. I thought of this really-"

"Adrian," my voice cracked as I spoke. I sniffled. "Adrian, can you . . . can you please come over?"

I could sense his urgency immediately. "Of course. What's wrong?"

"I . . ." I was ashamed. Embarrassed. Why had I opened the door? Why hadn't I called for help? "I lost Charles. He got out. Please. I just . . . I need help."

"Give me ten minutes, Cass," he said. I could hear him moving things around, and the jangle of keys. "I'll be right there."

I was huddled on the couch when I heard the knock at my door. My heart immediately started pounding. Opening my phone, I called Adrian and was relieved to hear the ring on the other side of the door.

"I'm here," he said as he picked up. Sighing in relief, I unlocked the door to see him standing there, Charles already in his arms. "He was wandering by the elevators. Came right up to me."

I barely managed to gather Charlie in my arms before I started crying again. I buried my face in his thick white fur and sobbed, my shoulders shaking. I felt Adrian put his arms around me, gently leading me back into the house and shutting the door.

"Hey, hey, Cass, my god, it's okay," he said. Charles wiggled free and ran immediately to his food bowl, no worse the wear for his little adventure. My hands were shaking, the tightness in my chest making it impossible to breath. Adrian sat me back on the couch, pulled my head up and held it in his hands as I trembled and wheezed, trying to convince my body to allow me the slightest breath of air.

"Start breathing, Cass," he said gently. His fingers stroked back through my hair and massaged over my neck. With firm, careful control he pushed me back, so that I was lying against the armrest of the couch. He took my wrists in his hands and pulled them down gently to my sides. With one hand pressed against my forehead, he instructed me, "Move your legs up and open them so your hips relax. There you go. Feet together. Pull them up to release the hip muscles. Now breath please. Breath."

I did as he said. The position felt ridiculous at first, until the tension and panic began to dissipate. My lungs at last allowed me to draw a deep, trembling breath. I closed my eyes, relishing the warmth of his hand on me. The hand that was not pressed against my forehead was rubbing my arms, smooth comforting movements that coincided with my breathing.

"What did you do?" I said, still not wanting to open my eyes.

"Recline Bound Angle," he said. "It's a position in yoga. It can help ease panic and anxiety."

"It does," I muttered. "It helps." I opened my eyes, gazing at him thankfully, so quickly feeling safe again. I sat myself up, and moved over so that I could press myself against his shoulder. He responded by putting his arms around me, kissing my forehead.

"Were you that scared for Charles?" he said. "Or did something else happen?" By his tone, I knew he could already tell that it was the latter. I gave a trembling sigh, and just shook my head. I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to tell him.

"Cass," his hand stroked beneath my chin, tipping my head back to look up at him. The concern in his eyes made me want to bury myself against him even more. "What happened? Talk to me?"

---