Page 11 of After Class

"My mom couldn't wait to have us out of the house," I said, still smiling at the idea of a small Italian woman scolding Adrian for his lack of religion. "She was the typical white suburban soccer mom. But after she and dad split up, I think she really just wanted to get back into the dating scene. Feel like she was 20 again, or something like that. She couldn't really feel 20 with two kids in the house."

Adrian nodded in understanding. We traded stories, laughing about Adrian's father catching him smoking pot at 13, or the time my mother had walked in on me watching PornHub. We talked about the many places I had lived growing up since my father was in the military, and that I planned to try to study abroad in Europe.

"If you stay in Italy, I can set you up with family there," Adrian said. "They'll do nothing but feed you the entire time."

I helped him clear the dishes before we sat down to another glass of wine. The view of the city through his windows was stunning: the lights twinkling and neon bar signs flickering. The conversation lulled and Adrian's gaze went over my face, searching.

"So," he said, leaning his chin on his hand. "What are you looking for Cass? With what we're doing . . . what kind of relationship do you want?"

I squirmed. I wasn't used to being asked so frankly about something as simple as what I wanted from a man. It should have been simple, but I found myself stuttering.

"I'll be honest, Adrian," I said, with a little sigh. "I just got out of a relationship. Two years. My ex really put me through shit, and I'm not . . . I'm just not really . . ."

"Ready for a relationship?" he finished for me.

I shrugged. I felt guilty. "Yeah. My emotions aren't in the right place."

"That's fine," he said, smiling when he noticed my obvious discomfort. "Don't feel bad to say what you want and don't want, Cass. It's important. I have no problem with something casual."

"I like what you do to me," I said softly. "This whole . . . dominance thing. I really like that."

He chuckled darkly. "I noticed. You're definitely a submissive."

Worry suddenly punched me in the gut. Submissive. Weak, like Ethan had said. Trying too hard and getting walked all over. I swallowed hard.

"You don't like that term?" Adrian frowned slightly, immediately intuitive to my discomfort. I shrugged again.

"It's just that my ex always told me I was too . . . too weak. That I let him walk all over me and do what he wanted."Crap. My eyes were actually welling up with tears. "And I did, honestly. Like I knew he was cheating and I still . . . tried to make it work."

Adrian's frown deepened. "You can't blame yourself for that. And being submissive isn't weak. It takes a great deal of trust and effort to submit to your partner. The fact that your ex abused your trust ishisweakness, not yours." He tapped his fingers on the tabletop. "Are you familiar with BDSM relationships? Was your ex-"

"He really didn't care what happened during sex as long he got off," I scoffed. "I've never actually had someone make me orgasm like you did."

He smiled, looking pleased with himself. "I'm glad. It pleases me to please you. Perhaps that sounds odd coming from someone who, very obviously, is pretty sadistic."

I laughed. "Oh you mean you actuallylikedspanking me? I thought it hurt you as much as it hurt me."

He chuckled darkly. "I thoroughly enjoyed every second of you whimpering and trying to stay quiet. I liked watching your skin get red and knowing that each spank got progressively worse for you. And there are many other painful things I would enjoy doing to you, Cass. But what is very important about this is that if we continue this relationship – even casually – is that you must understand that as the submissive, you hold the power."

I frowned, confused. "Isn't that . . . like the exact opposite of the whole BDSM thing?"

"Not at all. It's crucial that the sub, or submissive, maintains the authority of the last word. If you need me to stop, I will stop. The idea is that the submissive wants these things – punishments, domination, bondage, humiliation - just as much as the dominant does. So obviously you would push your own boundaries, and have the trust in me to stop when you need me to."

I had never thought of it that way. I honestly knew next to nothing about the BDSM scene and what it entailed, besides the whole whips and chains part. It seemed Adrian was more experienced.

"You've had submissives before?" I queried.

"I have," he said. "Every relationship I've had so far in my adult life incorporated elements of BDSM. It's simply what I enjoy, and what I know I need to be satisfied. What all that incorporates depends entirely on who I'm with and what they like. I have very few hard limits myself. I'm open to almost anything."

Hard limits. I hadn't thought about that before either. Then again, with my limited knowledge, there were only so many things I could think of as being immediately opposed to.

"I mean . . . I would prefer if we didn't do anything related to golden showers," I said with a shrug. He laughed aloud, shaking his head.

"That's fine with me," he said. "Is there anything else you're opposed to? Or better yet, is there anything you want to try?"

My mind was becoming a blank, filled with rushing thoughts and a growing horniness. Was I really sitting here discussing the intricacies of a BDSM relationship with my professor? Was I really discussingbeing ina relationship? My heart jumped, nervousness stifling me. Adrian noticed.

"You're worried," he said. "Why?"

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