Page 81 of The Prospect

“When I was twenty-one, I got recruited to play for this academy in Barcelona. My mum and dad were super against it, they wanted me to stay local, but at the time I was young, rebellious, and decided I wanted to do something for me for once. Besides, I’d never left England before and thought, ‘What the hell, why not?’ Anyway…” Hart soothingly runs his hand along his right wrist as he speaks. “Without rehashing all the details, I met someone while I was there and very quickly…I fell in love.”

A redness makes itself visible along Hart’s cheeks before he shakes himself out of it and focuses back on the story.

“It uh—didn’t work out between us, though.” He swallows. “Too many variables holding us back. The most important being she was there and I ultimately would end up back here. She didn’t want to give up her life to be with me…I—I wasn’t enough…”

“Hart.” I reach for his hand across the table and when I grasp it, it’s cool to the touch. I attempt to warm him up, but as thewords continue to fall from his rosy lips he only gets colder—it makes my heart deflate in sadness.

“When I left, I tried one final time to convince her to be with me. I wrote her a letter—very romantic, I know.” His laugh turns into a scoff. “I guess I was hoping my words would be enough for her to hold onto what we had instead of letting it all go. Needless to say, she didn’t answer. She ignored me. It took me a long time to come to accept the truth of that and when I finally did, it broke me. It broke me so badly that I wanted to create this distance between her and me. That’s why I started being with so many women. I was trying everything to forget her touch, her taste and quite frankly, everything that made her special to me. It was no use though, I couldn’t run from her love because it was living inside of me. It still lives inside of me, and to this day, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten rid of it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to…”

I’m in shock—disbelief. Christ, I don’t think there are enough adjectives in the English language to accurately portray how it feels to be let in on a secret that Hart has never shared with anyone else, and somehow, before I even think to respond to his truth, empathize with his hurt, my mind selfishly thinks back something else instead.

Step four: learn a secret about them.

How is this plan progressing without me even trying? And why in the hell am I thinking about that right now?

“I—I don’t know what to say, Hart.” I clutch onto his fingers, forcing his eyes to peer into mine. “You’ve really never told anyone this before?” I’m in shock.

“Never,” he’s quick to admit, making me wince. “I suppose I’m only telling you this because, deep down, you’re the first person I’ve actually tried letting in sinceSofia.”

“Sofia?” I say her name out loud and somehow it forces goosebumps to rise to my skin.

Hart nods softly as he attempts to hide the pain washing over his face, but as I continue to squeeze onto his palm, slowly it starts to dissolve.

“I don’t know, Hazel,” Hart speaks. “A part of me wants to believe that the two of us being together… Well, it’s helping me to break down this wall I’ve built up over the years. You’re helping me to realize that maybe not all love is bad and maybe…it’s time for me to start over.”

The depth of his words weighs me down as I turn into a sputtering mess—lost when it comes to what to say. “Hart, I?—”

“You don’t have to say anything.” He saves me the trouble. “I know that was a lot. Trust me. But I’m not telling you this to unload all of my trauma. I’m telling you because I want you to know that I know what it’s like to love someone so much that even when you’re mad as hell at them, they’re still the first thing on your mind. That’s been me with Sofia all these years and it’s done nothing for me. So, when it comes to you and Green, Hazel, let me just say this. I knew Sofia for six months, you’ve known Green for fifteen years. Give him another chance to apologize because if there’s one thing that I wish Sofia had given me, well…” He looks away, melancholy. “It was asecond chance.”

TWENTY-FOUR

G R E E N

I’m pacingthe hallways back and forth—meticulously adjusting balloons, hanging extra streamers, and making sure not even a bloody picture frame is a fraction out of place.

Everything today needs to be downright perfect.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

When Hazel texted me to let me know that not only would she be coming tonight, but she’d be willing to talk over everything again, I quite literally felt like I’d just won a jackpot in the lottery.

Not everyone in life gets an opportunity they’re hoping for, let alone a second one, to make things right with the one person they need the most, and tonight, I’m unwilling to let anything stand in my way of making this Hazel’s most unforgettable birthday yet.

“You picked up the cake, right, love?” Mum asks, joining me in the kitchen with a cheerful smile on her face.

“Sure did,” I respond. “Bright and early this morning from Ruby’s Bakery. Chelsie and Wilks said they’d also bring some cupcakes too.”

“Chocolate, I hope.” Mum raises a brow, likely testing to see if I’ve recalled Hazel’s favorite flavor after all these years.

“With vanilla frosting and sprinkles,” I lecture monotonically. “Mum, don’t you think I’ve been paying attention all these years? I know what my best friend likes…”

Mum folds her arms across her chest, impressed, before she pats me on the shoulder. “Just checking,” she tells me before turning around to manage something on the stovetop. “So, are you excited for tonight?” she calls out from over her shoulder.

I lean my frame back against one of the countertops, arching my neck from side to side. “It’s Hazel’s birthday, of course I’m excited.” The word itself is just an easy mask for the word “terrified”.

I have no idea how tonight is going to go and with all of our close friends and family around, my only hope is that tonight is one for the memories and not a dramatic ending of a friendship kind of way. In a “this is the best apology of all time kind of way.”

I have my gift for Hazel and Christ, if this doesn’t grant some forgiveness from her, I don’t know what will…

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