Page 78 of The Prospect

“I wanted to come out here and talk to you, whatever the cost. I can buy new boots, Haze. I can't buy a new best friend.”

I shake my head. It’s getting so much harder to look at him, especially as he gets closer. “How did you even know I was out here?” I can’t help but wonder. Surely, his intuition isn’t that strong, if it were, we wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.

“Hart’s got a big mouth,” he admits. “He keeps going on to Wilks about your date tonight and how he better stop stalling practice because you’re waiting for him.”

Of course, Hart managed to let that slip.

“And you managed to escape, how?” I raise a brow in question.

“I told Coach I had to go to the toilet,” he confesses with a shrug.

I fold my arms across my chest. “And it worked?”

“I’m standing in front of you, aren’t I?”

“Yeah.” I stare down at the ground. “I suppose you are. Although…” I say between gritted teeth. “A part of me wishes you weren’t. Didn’t you get the message, or better, lack thereof? I don’t want to talk,Green. I have nothing to say to you.”

“Oh, thank God, you’re back to calling me that.” Green exhales a sigh of relief as he runs a hand along his dampened forehead. “I’ll admit it, Hazel, hearing you call me Daniel the other night fucking sucked.”

I furrow my brows. “And you don’t think you bursting into my dorm room screaming at Hart to get off of me sucked even worse?” I fire back. “What the hell got into you, Green? Seriously?!”

I don’t realize it until it’s too late, but my voice has inflated to an octave I’m not comfortable using. It’s borderline angry with a mixture of emotion creeping in.

I hate this.

“Hazel…” Green starts by saying my name and even that is enough to well up some emotion in my eyes. I choke it back. “I don’t know what to say. It just… It killed me seeing you like that with Hart. Seriously, I felt like I was going to throw up!”

I just about roll my eyes to the back of my head. “Great to know that seeing me kiss someone has that effect on you.”

I attempt to brush past him. I’d much rather wait near the gates where Hart can see me rather than stand here and listen to this poor excuse of an explanation.

“Hazel, no!” Green gently clutches my hand before I can take another step forward. “Please, just…hear me out.”

I use my free hand to release his grasp from me, but I stay still in place, looking him dead in the eyes this time. “I just don’t understand. Seriously, I don’t know what you are trying to say here? You’re repulsed to see me with someone else, but when I ask you why, you have no answer? Or what about the fact that you don’t want me to be single, but when I find someone else, you’re not happy about it? You got jealous over nicknames, me spending time with Hart, the drawing. I thought I told you nothing could come between us, but clearly, that didn’t sink in. What is going on with you?!”

There’s a silence as I watch Green purse his lips in thought. I know the wheels in his mind are turning—chaotically. He knows he needs to be careful with whatever he says next because truth be told, I’ve never been more fed-up from a conversation of ours than I am right now.

I can’t keep doing this, going in circles. I’m dizzy, tired and if anyone is going to throw up in response to someone’s behavior, it’s going to be me, any second now.

“I—I don’t know.” Green’s answer doesn’t surprise me in the slightest as I huff out in defeat, now running all the countless and inconspicuous ways he could’ve answered my deeply rooted question instead.

“Is it that you think you deserve to be happy and I don’t?” I surmise on my own. “Is that it, Green?”

“What?” he speaks. “No.” He shakes his head while squinting his eyes shut. “Of course not, Hazel. Never!”

“Are you sure?” I question. “Because I’ve watched you with other people for years, Green.Years, and never once did I intervene or object. So what? Now that I’m happy with someone, you’re suddenly offended? Is that it?!”

“Hazel.” Green raises his hands pleading in front of me. “It’s not like that at all. I promise you, it’s just…”

“It’s what, Green?” I don’t allow him to finish. My patience has been maxed out by now. “What is it, huh? Spit it out because I’m tired of this. Just be honest with me. Why are you acting this way?!”

“I...” He stumbles over his words as my eyes gloss over. I hadn’t realized that this conversation had now brought me to tears. I wipe them away even though Green’s attempting to do it for me. “I can’t answer that, Hazel. I’m…sorry.”

The gap in conversation that falls between us is just about as wide as this hole I feel burning through my heart. This conversation went nowhere and now, I’m left feeling even worse than I have been over these past few days. I was betting on the hope that Green had a clear answer to all of this, but little to my surprise, there wasn’t one.

No closure. No sense. Just a sense of pain granted by the one person who holds the power to heal my heart as much as they can dismantle it.

Boy, is that proving to be true right now.

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