Page 56 of The Prospect

Would he care?

Would he want details?

Would he wonder why I hadn’t told him sooner?

The act sounds so enticing, but this prying look on his face reminds me that he knows me too well, he’ll know if I’m lying, therefore instead of altering the truth, I shake my head and bashfully look away.

Things were so much easier when I was the one probing him with the questions.

“I suppose we got close a couple of times,” I admit hastily, only making him clench his jaw in response. “But then he said he doesn’t kiss on the first date.”

My remark pique’s Green’s interest. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same Hart here, Hazel? Hart isn’t the waiting type…”

Green’s right, before we’d ever properly met, Hart had always seemed like a jump in, swim later kind of guy. Consequences never seemed to matter much to him, nor did the speed in which a relationship took off.

But maybe things are changing? Maybe that’s how Hart was in the past, but that’s not how he’s trying to be in the future, and if that’s the case, I suppose all of this is refreshing to hear. I mean, it almost makes me feel like Hart’s serious about me—about us. The thought alone sends a weird shiver through my spine as Green jumps back in.

“You know what? I’m happy to hear he’s taking things slow with you.” Relief washes over his face. “Because if I’m being honest, nothing would frustrate me more if he…”

His sentence loses momentum as he looks away, staring out at the ravine beneath us, before he looks back at me.

“What I’m trying to say is, Hart better be treating you right. He is treating you right. Right, Hazel?”

Like a child being lectured by their parents I look up at him. “Yes, Green. You know I would never settle for anything less. This isn’t Maxwell Thomas all over again, you know.”

Green’s eyes widen and I can’t blame him. I'm doing the same thing as I immediately start to question why in the hell I just said that. Christ. I know why. It’s this Goddamn place. This topic of conversation. This lingering feeling of self-doubt that’s making me expose my innermost thoughts.

“So, you’re thinking back to that day too, huh?” Green recalls with a playful laugh.

My heart forgets to beat as I feel all the color drain from my face. Green takes note of it.

“What?” Green feigns my visible shock. “It’s hard not to think about Hazel. I mean, here we are, back in the same spot, talking about first kisses. It only makes sense.”

I clear my throat to help me speak, but it does nothing, I’m speechless. “I…I’m surprised you even remember,” I remark. “I mean, you told me that you hardly remember any of your first kisses…”

My comment reminds me of Green’s claim at the library a few weeks back, which left my stomach churning all afternoon as I wondered if our kiss meant less to him than I thought.

Green scoffs with narrowed eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. Do you really think I’d ever forget our first kiss, Hazel?” The question comes out as rhetoric. “That’s like me asking you, did you forget what I told you that day? Please tell me you remember.”

“Hazel Collins. You’ll always be the most special girl in the world to me.”

How could I forget?

Of course I remember, but do I tell him that?

No. Why? Because I physically can’t.

I can’t tell Green the reason why I’ve never forgotten the words he once spoke to me is because, from the moment they escaped his lips, they became ingrained in my heart. Instead, I just nod and pretend as though I’m not struggling to breathe. The lack of oxygen in my brain forces me to mutter out more nonsense, “I hope I’m still good at it.”

Why did I just say that?

“Kissing?” Green is quick to counter with, peering down at me over his shoulder with an inquisitive look in his eyes.

“Yeah.” I shrug anxiously. “It’s just…been a long time for me, I suppose.”

“Not since we were last here, I hope.” Green laughs.

I playfully roll my eyes, yet blush almighty. “Of course not, Green.” I swallow. “That would be just downright sad.”

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