Fourteen
Clara wasapprehensive about their hike and didn’t sleep well. Brex had something to tell her, something beyond him falling in love with a selfish preacher’s daughter who had broken his heart and made him focus on material possessions to prove he was enough, more than going to Venezuela to fight gangsters, traffickers, murders, drug runners—who knew? She wanted to love him and support him in his career, but it was terrifying what he did and unnerving not knowing the details.
What if Weston was right and Brex was hiding something nefarious from her? Brex had obviously been hiding something, but now he was volunteering to tell her. They’d work it out. That was all that mattered. Weston had been a great friend to her, but he’d always wanted more and he’d been jealous of each of her boyfriends. Jane had even admitted to her that Weston’s marriage had partially ended because his wife ‘wasn’t Clara’. He was only acting jealous again. She’d chosen Brex over her lifelong friends last night. That hurt, but Brex was worth it.
He picked her up early the next morning and neither of them said much as they drove toward the trail. She realized he was driving to Oljeta Canyon northwest of town. They’d hiked thiscanyon a couple times before, but she didn’t like the forty to fifty foot drops from the highest point as the trail weaved up through a slot canyon and gradually came out on top of the canyon walls. The slot canyon’s walls were jagged at some points and sheer cliffs at others. Her brother Lincoln loved to come here and try to free climb up the jagged spots. He usually gave up after about fifteen feet.
They parked in the lot with a few other cars, their occupants already out hiking, running, or biking. As they got out, she strapped on a small backpack with water, lip balm, tissue, and her phone in it. She knew his pack had a gun and knife in it. His world was foreign and intriguing to her. She thought of him infiltrating bad guys in Venezuela and shivered.
“You cold?”
She shook her head. “Just thinking of you fighting bad guys in Venezuela.”
He smiled briefly, then pulled her into him, hugging her tightly. “I’ll be okay. I’m as worried about you in Angola.”
“I’ve done that trip five times. We have two security guards, and the locals watch out for us. I’ll be safe.”
He nodded against her hairline and then kissed her forehead. “I don’t want us to be apart.”
“It feels like I’m ripping my heart out and sending it to Venezuela,” she admitted.
His lips trailed down the side of her face. His warm breath made her skin tingle. “That’s exactly how it feels.”
She closed her eyes and savored the sensation of his body surrounding hers, his lips taking their time kissing her cheek and then her jawline. His lips moved to her neck and her entire body heated at the sensation. His lips dipped toward her collarbone and fire filled her.
“Brex!” She grabbed his cheeks and said his name too loudly for the quiet morning and their intimate position.
“Yeah?” He glanced up at her, his dark eyes full of desire. For her.
This might be one of their last moments alone before she flew out in the morning. She didn’t want to interrupt the heated kisses he was placing on her neck, but she needed to. Too much passion and getting out of control physically could damage their trust and love.
“Shall we pray?” The words sprang from her lips.
“Pray?” He chuckled uneasily, and any romance and heat fled his gaze. He straightened to his full height, released his hold on her, and stared down at her. He didn’t look upset, but definitely not comfortable with her suggestion.
“Sorry to interrupt,” she squeaked out.
He grinned then, and it was beautiful. “It’s probably for the best.” He shook his wrist and glanced at his watch, then focused on her with an intensity in his dark eyes that made her pulse speed up. “My thoughts weren’t very focused on prayer at that moment.”
She knew exactly what he meant, and she flushed, embarrassed but also wishing in a way she hadn’t interrupted. She could’ve directed his head up instead of letting his lips progress to her collarbone and neckline. Brex would’ve worked his way to her lips and they would’ve been involved in a different version of heaven right now.
Was that what he needed to tell her? He’d been intimate with multiple women and worried that she’d think less of him? Her stomach squirmed at the thought, but she wouldn’t judge him for his past. Everyone made mistakes, and if he wasn’t a believer, he wouldn’t have thought being intimate was a sin. Most of the world didn’t see it that way.
“Prayer?” she asked again, concerned about what he had to tell her and afraid he’d reject the idea of prayer like he had yesterday.
“Okay,” he conceded, then muttered, “We might both need it.”
“What do you mean?”
He shook his head. “Let’s pray, then we’ll talk.”
Relief filled her. He’d agreed to pray with her. She offered her hands, and he grasped each of hers in his larger ones. “Do you want me to …?”
“Your idea.”
He looked slightly uncomfortable, but at least he was willing to pray with her. She’d told him her love for him wasn’t conditional on him believing the same as she did, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t share her faith and beckon him to partake of God’s goodness and light.
She bowed her head, closed her eyes, and clung to his hands. “Dear Father in Heaven. We come before Thee humble and in need. Tomorrow we will be far apart. Please keep Brex safe in his travels and his work. Please bless us with miracles to be able to come back together, to love each other as Thou would have us do, and to someday have a beautiful family of our own.”