“There’s something I need to tell you,” Clara said softly as she studied the river.
Brex’s pulse sped up. Would she tell him she loved him? After three months of knowing each other? Two months dating? It was quick to admit something like that, but he could return the feelings he shouldn’t have been developing. He felt something deep and real with her. It wasn’t elusive and it wouldn’t fade.
Maybe she’d decided not to go on the mission trip so she could spend more time with him while he was in the valley. That was a selfish thought on his part. Maybe she’d ask him to go with her. He could spin it to Nick and the Hendrys as part of his job.
What if she admitted she had in fact murdered her other boyfriends and he was next?
He smiled to himself at how silly his last thought was.
“Anything,” he said, raising their joined hands to his lips and brushing a kiss across her knuckles. “You can tell me anything, Clara.”
She studied him, and the night sizzled with anticipation. He shouldn’t kiss her. Another intense kissing session would only prove how weak he was for her, draw them closer together, and hurt her more in the long run. He should stay in control and solve this case so he could earn the money and move on.
How could he ever move on from Clara? She was the only genuine happiness he’d felt since leaving home at eighteen.
She leaned forward and kissed him passionately. Their connection deepened and he couldn’t find the strength to resist her. She had cracked his shallow exterior wide open and infused her depth and light into him.
He lifted her onto his lap and took the kiss to the next level, kissing her desperately and thoroughly. When they pulled apart, they both gasped for air, and she studied him.
“I know I can tell you anything, Brex,” she said. “I trust you and I’m falling for you.”
Was that what she’d wanted to tell him? She trusted him and was falling for him. He loved those words. He envisioned returning the sentiments and kissing on this bench until the sprinklers turned on, someone came to interrupt them, or the sun rose tomorrow morning.
“But it stinks that you still can’t tell me what your job here is about,” she said.
It did stink, and the reminder of why he was here sobered him. He couldn’t kiss her all night long. He shouldn’t be kissing her at all. He was a phony. He was playing a role, walking a tightrope, and he would hurt this angelic woman either way he fell. The thought of those jade-colored eyes filling with tears and hurt made his muscles all tighten reflexively.
“I wish I could. It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
Clara couldn’t possibly have hurt anyone. He trusted her.
She shouldn’t trust him.
What if he told her the truth? The idea made the cold knot in his chest loosen and the future seem brighter. Clara would understand. They could work together to find who killed her boyfriends.
Could he tell her the truth without the Hendrys’ permission? He’d told Pamela Hendry he was a professional and wouldn’t let his emotions get involved. He hadn’t meant to lie, but he was way past emotions getting involved. Every time he spoke to the Hendrys, Pamela fretted about Brex being killed by Clara. He knew he wasn’t invincible, and he appreciated her concern, but it was misdirected. Clara was genuine and trustworthy.
Why couldn’t he just admit to Clara why he was here?
He studied her genuine, real, full of adoration jade-colored eyes. What if she looked at him with loathing after he admitted the truth? What if she could never forgive him or understand why he’d lied to her? His stomach clenched at the thought of losing her trust and that loving expression.
“It’s that I’ve promised my boss and the client not to share any information,” he explained even as he wondered how to get around it. “Once the case is resolved, I could share some of it with you. I’m sorry, but with my job there will always be things I can’t share.”
That was true, but this job was so much more twisted than a security operative unable to share classified information with his significant other. This job was a nightmare … except for her.
She nodded and slid back onto the bench and off his lap. “I understand. Your job is important … and I still trust you.”
Brex could hardly swallow past his emotion. Clara was trusting and pure. If only he could confide in her and they could solve this case together. If only she wouldn’t be hurt and possibly hate him when she discovered why he was truly here.
She clung to his hand and met his gaze. “I’m still going to tell you my secrets. Even if you can’t tell me yours.”
“I’m not worthy of you, Clara.” Now that was the truth. He was lying to her, and he hated it. How could he have found the right woman for him, an unexpected opposite of the woman he usually dated, and he was hiding far too much from her?
“I know.” She gave him a whimsical smile and a soft kiss and then she said in a rush, “You know about each of my boyfriends dying tragically …” She paused, and he nodded. “I’m convinced they were murdered.”
His eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up. It was an act, and he hated it. Clara was so trusting. She wouldn’t hide anything from him, even if he had to hide too much from her.
“I’m sorry, Clara. That’s terrifying, and losing them must have broken your heart.”