Page 110 of We Used To Be Magic

‘Same old, I suppose. Mum and Dad are in Cannes.’

‘Nice. And have you spoken to Eleanor?’

Edie looks up at me with something close to alarm. She wasn’t expecting me to mention Eleanor, clearly – why would I,when I learnt the hard way not to? And I can see the struggle behind her eyes – her instinct is to shut this down, to shut me out. But—

‘She’s reached out,’ she says finally. ‘The show is airing as we speak. Some columnist called it “a candy-coated microcosm of everything wrong with our society”.’

‘So it’s a hit?’

She sighs. ‘People love to hate it, which means they have to watch it first.’

‘Have you? Watched it, I mean?’

‘I just read about it online and torture myself,’ she says colourlessly. ‘Eleanor says she wouldn’t have done it if she knew I’d leave. But she’s never quite grasped the concept of her actions impacting other people.’

‘Right,’ I say, surprised by the admission.

‘Mm. She also says she wants to come and visit me out here.’

‘Oh. What do you think you’ll do?’

‘What doyouthink I should do?’ she asks dryly. ‘Let her come? Hug it out? Enter my healing era?’

‘Not no,’ I admit, and Edie scoffs, turning away.

‘It’s your choice,’ I say quickly. ‘Just – I’m currently trialling the whole “benefit of the doubt” thing myself, actually.’

‘With your dad?’ she asks, looking at me sideways. I shrug – she raises her eyebrows but says nothing, gaze sliding back towards the window.

‘I’m not sure how to feel about this new, enlightened version of Ezra,’ she says flatly. ‘But I suppose I’ll get used to it.’

‘Yeah?’ I smile. ‘Want to do this again sometime?’

‘Maybe, if you actually want to.’

‘Of course I want to. I know a lot’s changed, but not everything.’

‘Not the fact that I’m in love with you,’ she says, eyes still firmly averted. ‘You’d probably guessed as much, though.’

I stare at Edie for a moment, wondering if she’s fucking with me – she wields sarcasm so lightly that it isn’t always easy to tell when she’s joking. But her expression is set, her jaw tight like she’s bracing for some kind of impact. My heart clenches like a fist.

‘No,’ I manage. ‘I didn’t.’

‘Sorry if that’s weird for you,’ she says, tipping her chin back. ‘I know you’ve moved on.’

‘God, Edie –’ I begin, but she’s already shaking her head.

‘Forget it,’ she says. ‘As shitty as this is for me, you not being in my life is shittier. So – eventually I’ll get to the point where I’m just happy that you’re happy. I promise.’

And then she looks at me and smiles. It doesn’t quite meet her eyes, though, and I consider telling her that thereisno one else – not any more, because it was over before it could even begin. But …

‘You can do better,’ I say instead, and she laughs.

‘Yep.’ She nods. ‘Probably.’

But don’t think I’ll ever stop caring about you, Edie,’ I add seriously. I never did. ‘I wouldn’t know how. It’s pretty much non-negotiable, at this point.’

‘Of course you do,’ she says dryly, picking up her menu again. ‘You’re buying me twenty-dollar eggs.’

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