Page 74 of Destined To Fall

“You knew this, though. It’s why we don’t get attached, remember?”

“Yeah, but this one was different.”

“Oh, Lala, that’s what they all say. It’s also what you used to say in college. But I thought you grew out of that.‘All men want is a warm place to stick their dick.’”

“You don’t believe that.”

“Don’t I? But more importantly, I thought you did.”

She waves me off and gets up, struggling to stand, tangling herself in her slouchy cardi, and heads for her kitchen, no doubt in search of more wine. My pocket buzzes, and for a split second, I feel guilty, unsure exactly why.

J: Hey.

V: Yo.

J: How’s the Halloween party?

V: Oh, we didn’t go. Laura got dumped. So we’re at her place drinking her dry and talking about how shitty men are and all they want is to use us for sex.

J: Oh man, what a douche, and right before the party, too.

V: Yup.

J: Hey, not all men are assholes. I’m not using you for sex.

V: I know, you’re full of empty promises. You’re also a weirdo and an exception.

J: Gee, thanks?

“We drank all the wine.” Laura wails, then thrusts a spoon in my face.“So, Ben and Jerry’s time!”

“Where are the tubs?”

“Oh.” She giggles and staggers off into the kitchen again.Hmm… food might be a good idea at this point.

J: So, does this mean I’m right?

V: Probably not, but what in particular are you referring to?

J: Sex. It complicates and ruins things.

I almost snort.

V: The only sex that ruins is the good kind ;)

V: In the context you’re referring to, that wasn’t sex, that was feelings. They ruin everything.

J: Sounds like you’re talking from experience. Why so jaded?

V: Jaded? No. Clever? Yes. I saw it in others enough to know it wasn’t for me. Messy and complicated aren’t my thing, so I passed go and collected my two hundred dollars.

J: I guess that means I’m getting sent straight to jail.

V: I’ll send you a nail file, and maybe, if you’re a good boy, I’ll visit.

J: Gee, thanks.

V: Ooooh, conjugal visits :D

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