Page 72 of Destined To Fall

L: And B+J?

V: Phish food?

L: Yesssss! Wait, no. We’re going costume shopping.

V: Whhhhhy?

L: Halloween, duh. It’s next month. Meet me at the usual place.

I laugh out loud. Of course Laura wants to go costume shopping at our favorite sex shop.

Laura has not shut up about her new, sexy man. I don’t even think she’s taken a breath since we met in front of Hanky Spanky almost an hour ago. It’s put me in this weird funk, and I can’t work out why.

“…so, we need to be there at eight,” Laura drawls on.

“Uh huh. Eight.” I nod, flicking through the racks of costumes, my mind elsewhere.

Then I see something out of the corner of my eye that has my face splitting open. I rush over to the other side of the store, pulling out my cell at the same time and snapping a picture, grinning from ear to ear.

“What are you doing?”

I bring up Jeremy’s name and hit send before Laura makes her way over to me.“Huh? Sorry, what were you saying? Eight o’clock?”

Laura sighs, exasperated.“The Halloween party. Downtown. Ringing any bells?”

“Oh, right. Where are we meeting?”

“Have you been listening to a thing I’ve said for the last thirty minutes, or are the twelve-inch phalluses that distracting?”

“Sorry, long day. Did you just say phallus?” I shake my head.“No, just no. Tell me the plan again. Is theboyfriendcoming?”

Laura rolls her eyes and walks back over to the cosplay outfits, but before I can hear a word she says, my cell vibrates, and I zone her out. Again.

J: Is that what I think it is?

V: And what are you thinking it is?

J: A chastity belt?

V: Bingo.

J: I didn’t know they actually made them. Where are you?

V: In a sex shop shopping for Halloween outfits. I spotted this and thought of you. Not that you need one. How you’ve gone this long I’ll never understand. Mrs. Palmer must be really good to you.

J: A sex shop? What happened to a good old-fashioned costume store?

V: With all those snot-nosed crotch goblins? Pass. Besides, this is multi-purpose. Maybe I should get you a Fleshlight instead. I wonder if they make them to measure…

I need to cough to hide my amusement. The next message is a picture of a half-empty beer glass on a shiny, wet-looking black table.

J: I just snorted beer all over the place and nearly choked to death. Well played.

V: I’m surprised you know what one is, Jer. Where are you?

J: I’m not oblivious, Viv. I’m at this new club called Kicks. It’s boring and lame, totally my scene.

V: Oh, joy.

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