Page 133 of Destined To Fall

“Please, no…”

Laura looks at me—no, through me—and something in my tone or in my face tells her everything she needs to know. She turns around smartly, holding my hand even tighter, and flags a cab.

There are no words exchanged between us as we get in. Mysniffles the only sound in the freezing car. Laura shoves some cash at the driver before stepping out, still clutching my hand all the way up to her building door.

She unlocks the door, walks me in, and places me on the couch. Heads to her bedroom and walks out a few moments later with a big, fluffy comforter andan enormousbox of Kleenex. After dumping the box beside me, she wraps me up in the blanket and kisses my forehead before walking off again. I watch somewhat in a daze as she putters around her kitchen before returning with ice cream and wine. At seven a.m.

I laugh and sob hysterically again.

Laura doesn’t ask any questions; just sits with me while I cry, eat, and drink. She calls in sick for the first time in her life and stays the whole day with me. We bingeCriminal Minds, order Thai, and eventually I fall asleep on the couch when the wine finally takes me out.

I rouse to Laura placing a pillow under my head and covering me further with the blanket. Her whispered words of love follow me back into sweet oblivion.

It takes another couple of days before I can confess everything to Laura. Every single flirty, crazy, dirty, broken detail. If Jeremy got the PG version from me, then Laura gets the director’s-cut, extended R-rated edition. I tell her things I haven’t even voiced inside my head; they just come out, as things do with your soul sister.

“I’m sorry, Law.”

At this point I don’t know what else to say. I can see her feelings written all over her face. She’s shaken. The strongest emotion twisting her sweet features is pain. Pain for all that I went through, and pain that I kept her in the dark for so long.

I stay silent, waiting for her to sift through the info dump and the emotional baggage I’ve just thrown at her. Deep down, I know she’ll forgive me, but at this moment, doubt creeps in, and I’m not sure of anything anymore. I’m not sure I deserve it.

I don’t even know who I am any longer.

After a beat, she takes a big swig of her wine, and then looks me dead in the eye.

“Well, now it all makes sense. So let me get this straight. You’ve been‘friends’since August? Have been having coffee, jogging, hanging out and watching movies on the regular…?”

I nod and watch as Laura purses her lips, then sucks them in her mouth.

“Are you seriously fighting a laugh right now?”

“Oh, come on. Do you really not see it?”

“See what?”

“For someonesostupidly smart, you’re so fucking dumb sometimes.” I’m about to object when she continues.“You’ve literally been dating this guy for months!” Now the laugh comes blasting out, shaking her frame.“Friends without benefits,” she roars, and I want to punch her in the face. I’m glaring at her when her words sink in and slap me upside the head.

I’ve beendatingJeremy.

For months.

In all the ways that count.

The truth of that crashes down on me. My mouth opens, then closes. Laura’s laugh tapers off as she watches my dilemma play out. I can feel the shock morphing my features.

“I…I don’t understand. He…wow. He fucking did this on purpose. The son of a—” I cut myself off, my heart clenching at the thought of his mother.“That fucking asshole.”

Laura snorts.

“Exactly. He did, didn’t he?”

Her lips thin as she nods, practically screaming‘duh’at me.“You were destined to fall,eventually.”

“From grace? Please. That train left a long time ago.”

Laura rolls her eyes.“It’s rather poetic, really. The whore and the virgin.” She chortles and I frown.“So now what?”

“I have no idea. Maybe the ER.” Laura sits up straight, a look of panic washing over her.“I think I’m having a heart attack.”

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