Page 126 of Destined To Fall

“No. Thank you. Itwas perfect.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay. I’m—”

“Fine? So you keep saying.”

“I am. But, umm, maybe, if you have something, I could change?” I look down at the wrinkled, days-old scrubs and cringe.

“Yeah, of course. My sister left some stuff for you. Do you want a shower first?”

“Yes. Oh, god, yes.”

“Are you…uh…can you manage on your own?” I imagine Jeremy blushing and look up to see a slight pink staining his cheeks, but his forehead is furrowed in concern, overshadowing his embarrassment.

“Umm.” He poses a valid question. I shift my weight, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, and realize that’s about all the strength I have.“Is a sponge bath out of the question?”

“I can call my sister again, see if she can come back around.”

“No, don’t do that. I’ll just shower later. It’s fine.”

“Nope.”

He hauls me into his arms before I can protest, so carefully it’s as if I’m made of china, and carries me into the bathroom like I weigh no more than a small child. I get a strange sense of déjà vu, like he’s done this before, but it passes before I can take hold of it.

I catch sight of my face and neck in the mirror for the first time and swiftly turn away. Jesus, it’s bad. Jeremy places me on the toilet seat, and I smile at the thought of falling in, but then nature calls rather insistently.

“Jer, can I have a minute—”

“Oh, right, yeah.”

He hurries out of the bathroom and closes the door behind him. I manage on my own, though it’s a bit of a struggle. Once I finish up, Jeremy checks that it’s all clear before coming back in and heading for the shower. He plays with the dials, testing the spray before turning back to me, biting his lip.

“Do you have anything on under those scrubs?”

I shake my head.

“Right.” A war rages behind his sapphire eyes until a decision is made.“I won’t look, okay?”

I pause. Usually it wouldn’t bother me and I’d make some lewd remark, but I have no idea what state the rest of my body is in. Without knowing what else to say, or do, I nod and try to stand on my own. I fail miserably, and Jeremy catches me before I fall.

“Damn it. Sorry, you don’t have—”

“Shh. We’ve got this.”

With me in his arms, Jeremy undresses us both. His shirt and slacks hit the floor first; his black boxers, I notice, stay on. I help as best I can as he gets the scrubs off, allthewhile keeping his eyes closedtight. I’d chuckle if I had it in me.

Awkwardly, we step into the steaming shower, my back to Jeremy’s front, his arm around my middle, holding most of my weight against him so I don’t collapse. As soon as the spray hits hard against my skin, I wince. All I do is fucking wince, but Jeremy notices—he rarely misses anything—and moves further in, twisting us around so the spray hits him, running off his body onto mine instead.

“Better?”

I nod, feeling oddly emotional until I catch sight of the rest of my body in the mirror and gasp.“What?”

Now it’s Jeremy’s turn to wince, and I know he opened his eyes and is seeing my neck in all its ugly glory without a curtain of hair to hide it. But I can’t bring myself to look at him in the mirror to confirm.

“Oh, Vivienne.”

The pain in his voice breaks me, and I can’t help but find his eyes in the mirror.

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