Jeremy’s hands trail up my hips to grip my waist, his tongue doing wicked, wicked things to my mouth, but all too soon it ends, and he’s breaking the kiss a second time and pushing me back.
“Vivienne…”
“Jeremy…”
“This can’t happen.”
“Sure it can. You want it, I want it…two wants make a right here, right now.”
He shakes his head.
“You and I want different things. This,”—he indicates between the two of us—“can’t happen. We both have rules for a reason—”
“Fuck the rules. I’ve broken every rule for you. Make me understand why is this so important to you. Because from where I’m sitting, nothing feels more right than this.”
My heart stills, and my mouth clamps shut. Fuck.
My confession doesn’t get the response I’d expect. There’s no crooked smile. Just a look of…defeat.
“Jer?”
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, still saying nothing. I continue to stare, willing the truth out of him. He grips me tighter and lifts me up like I weigh nothing, putting me on my feet and getting to his own.
“My celibacy isn’t the issue.”
“Then…is it me?”
“No.” He shakes his head, his eyes boring into mine.“God, no. It’s not you.” Then it’s him?“But you don’t make it easy.”
One corner of my mouth twitches with a grin.“It’s my job to make it hard.”
He scoffs.“Yeah, I’m painfully aware of that.”
I frown.
“Damn it, I don’t mean—” He breaks off and abruptly punches his wall.“Vivienne, I can’t.”
“You can. I could feel it.” I try to lighten the mood. But fail.
“I can’t.”
“Why? What are you afraid of? It’ll be the best sex of your life.”
“I have no doubt it would be.” There’s something in his eyes I can’t make out. A bittersweet underlying tone?“And therein lies the crux of it.”
I frown again, confused.
He steps back into my personal space, his palm coming up to cup my cheek. It’s a struggle not to melt into it.
“I’m losing parts of myself every time I’m with you. Every time I touch you, I leave a part of myself behind.” He pulls his hand away and turns his back to me.“I’m afraid I’ll lose the last part of me, one I’ll spend the rest of my life missing, one I’ll never get back.”
“Jer…” I place a hand on his back, and he flinches, spinning so fast I get dizzy.
“I’m a virgin.”
I’m taken aback. Quite literally, I take a step back. Dumbstruck. I can’t speak.Can’tthink,just stare.
“I’ve never slept with anyone. I am celibate, that wasn’t a lie. But I’m also a virgin.” He shrugs like it’s nothing, and in that moment, he’s never looked so young, so freaking innocent…