Page 110 of When We Burn

I’m doing this in batches, to keep it more manageable. We have one batch already jarred, one on the stove, and another that Birdie is currently mixing with a wooden spoon.

“Am I okay to take these off the heat?” Mama asks.

“Of course, thanks.”

“Where did you get this recipe, Dani?” she asks as she turns off the burner and moves the pot.

“I found it online,” I admit with a shrug. “I wanted to make some a few years ago and stumbled upon this recipe, and I have to say, it works.”

“And how did you learn to can?”

“Video tutorials online.”

I turn to find Mama watching me with sad eyes.

“What?”

“If I’d known you wanted to learn, I would have taught you and your sisters when you were teenagers.”

“You taught us a lot as it was. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t know how to sew a button or clean a toilet or iron my slacks. I wouldn’t know how to get a stain out of the carpet or what to do for a bee sting. You taught us so much, and you’re the mother of my heart.”

Mama blinks and folds me in for a hug, holding on tight.

Birdie’s swinging her hips back and forth in time with the Sidney Sterling song playing on the Bluetooth speaker that Bridger bought for me, since he knows I like to have music on in the kitchen, and Mama and I take a minute to dance with her, making her giggle.

“We loved it when Sidney sang this song at the concert, didn’t we?”

“It wasso good, Grandma.”

“I bet it was,” Mama says and kisses Birdie’s head. “Your dad told me you guys had fun, and he sent me thephotos of you with Sidney. It looked like she was really nice.”

“She gave us T-shirts and posters that she signed,” Birdie informs her grandmother while I transfer the latest apple mixture to a pot for the stove.

“I’m glad you had fun,” Mama says, and then her arm is draped over my shoulders, and she’s hugging me to her side. “I’m glad youallhad fun.”

“We really did.”

“You know, I love this.”

I frown over at her. “Making apple butter?”

“Well, yes, I enjoy being in the kitchen, but I love being here, with both of you. Seeing you with Birdie and Bridger.” She kisses my cheek, and it makes my heart swell. I know where Bridger gets his love language. It’s from his mom. “You make a beautiful family.”

I wrinkle my nose, mostly so I don’t start to cry.

“I love them,” I whisper, staring down into the pot of apples. “More than anything.”

“Anyone with eyes in their head can see that, my sweet girl.”

“And you don’t mind?” I look into her eyes, needing to see her reaction to that question. “You’ve known me and my family all of my life, and if I’m not?—”

“Hey.” She pats my cheek and shakes her head, smiling at me. “Yes, I’ve known you your whole life, and I know what a lovely, good-hearted, strong, wonderful woman you are. I couldn’t handpick someone better for my boy than you, Dani. I love you so much.”

Maybe the tears are going to come anyway.

“I love you, too.”

“Why are you crying?” Birdie asks, making me chuckle and brush at the tears on my cheeks.

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