Page 9 of When We Burn

“I’m going to be fine.”

His eyes narrow. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I’m okay,” I confirm softly. Jeez, he makes me nervous. I really just want to go home. “Listen, if it’s weird for you that Birdie’s in my class, since we know each other and stuff, I can have her transferred to another class.”

He scowls, and I’m so nervous that I just keep talking.

“That might be for the best, right? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything. Yeah, I’ll do that. Okay, I have a date, so I’d better go.”

“Who the fuck?—”

But I’m already out the door and saying goodbye to my hosts. I want to run away, but I also don’t want to be rude, and I absolutely donotwant to make a scene.

When my goodbyes are said, I climb into my car and drive away. I see Bridger gathering Birdie and also saying his goodbyes, and I want to get home and inside before he does so I don’t have to see him.

God, I don’t want to see him. I’ve worked hard for years with a therapist to build up my self-confidence and to feel like I can speak up for myself. To overcome all thehorrific shit my father put me through, not to mention the bullies in school.

The bully that Bridger ended up marrying and having a kid with.

Yeah, that’s a mind mess all on its own.

After pulling into my driveway, I hurry inside and close and lock my door. Less than ten minutes later, I hear Bridger get home, but I stay in. I don’t want to see him. My feelings are too raw where he’s concerned, and he hasn’t given me any indication that he feels any differently about me than he did when I was fifteen.

I totally lied about having a date. I just said the first thing that came to mind to get me out of there, which is stupid, and my therapist would tell me that I just need to be honest and say,I feel uncomfortable, and I want to leave.

But did I? No. I lied. To Bridger.

My friend.

Maybe it’s time for another therapy session.

Summer is hanging on to Montana by her fingernails this year, making it extra warm during the day, and I love the balmy evenings. I make sure to keep my driveway swept because on hot days like this, I like to lie down on the warm concrete and look at the stars, when the neighborhood is quiet, and the only sounds are the crickets and my own thoughts.

It’s my favorite time of day to meditate and do my affirmations.

So, while I wait for the rest of the world to go to bed, I clean my cozy house and get ready for school next week.I’m a night owl by nature, so when it’s finally late, I slip outside—barefoot in my shorts and a tank, because I want to feel as much of that warm concrete as I can—and lie down in the middle of it.

There’s no moon tonight, so the sky is dark and full of sparkling stars, and I begin my affirmations.

I am enough.

I am proud of myself.

I am a great teacher.

My family loves me.

I am in charge of my life.

I can do new things.

I am healing.

I keep going through my list, whispering them to the stars as I breathe and relax into the warmth beneath me.

And then I hear them—footsteps—but I don’t jerk up or run away. I heard his door a second ago, and even though my heart is knocking in my chest, I’ve managed to stay calm.

“Dani? Jesus, are you okay? Did you fall?”

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