Page 32 of Believe In Us

As we pull up outside the parking structure of the academy, Drake turns off the ignition, but neither one of us makes a move to exit. I shift my gaze to him and notice he’s focused on his steering wheel, his hands still gripping it harshly. But just as I am about to speak and apologize for lashing out at him, he interrupts me speaking first.

“Just know, what Scar did, whatever it was, she couldn’t have meant it. You girls are two halves of the perfect heart. One beats the other follows. I can’t imagine a world where you two aren’t talking.” His eyes never come up to meet mine, clearly not wanting them to show the vulnerability in him when it comes to my sister.

“Some things aren’t as easy to forgive Dragon,” I say, my voice cracking as I swallow down the thickness of my pain.

“If anyone understands the hurt Scar can cause it’s me Jade, and I've forgiven her for all she has done.”

“I’m sorry Dragon but what she did to you, it doesn’t come close to what she’s done this time,” I mutter and he quickly turns to me, a look of shock appearing in his eyes. “And I don’t mean to downplay what happened between you two, but you and I both know that you and Scar weren’t endgame,” he nods his head in agreement, his tattooed fingers rustling anxiously in his hair.

“I’m not hurt because I lost her Jade. You were right, I realize that what we had wasn’t that kind of love, it wasn’t real to either of us. But I lost my best friend because I was too damn proud to admit it. I don’t want the same for you,” he says, holding my gaze. His eyes are sincere and ache with the pain of having no one left in your corner you can actually trust. I mean he has his sister but she’s just such a petty bitch sometimes she’s impossible to talk to. And the guys, Kai and Jax, even though they’re like brothers to him, they’ve got their own demons to fight off.

“You know she’d go back to the way things were in a heartbeat if you’d let her,” I say, and he nods, accepting it’s him who’s reluctant. “I’m going to forgive her Drake, because you’re right, I don’t see my life without her in it. But I can’t right now, I get she’s hurting but so am I.”

“Because of Silver,” he states rather than asking. As if he knows the answer, like it’s that blatantly obvious. Well it is after the scene he just pulled.

“Something like that,” I mumble, not wanting to delve into that at the moment.

“I won’t ask, I won’t pry, I won’t even tell you to steer clear of him for your own safety. Just know Jade, no matter what I’m here for you. We’re Grayson’s after all.” I fight with everything I can against the stray tear threatening to stain my cheek as I look into the solemn gaze of one of my brothers. Because although we may not be the closest pair, Drake has been there for me in more ways than one. He’s more a brother to me than Roman ever was and that I’ll never forget.

“Thanks Dragon, you don’t know how much that means right now.” He simply nods, just like me not wanting to make this into a bigger deal than it is. I reach to pull the handle of the door but before I exit turn to face him. “Same goes to you Dragon, I’m here if you need me.”

The next morningI wake up with a blinding headache courtesy of spending the night tossing and turning, hardly getting even a wink of sleep. I replayed Sebastian's words in my mind over and over again. His reasoning behind not telling me about my brother was mediocre at best, but I can’t dwell on the fact that he lied to me for months, cause I’m the one lying now. So instead I walk over to my restroom grabbing a towel from the linen closetand locking myself inside. I hunch over the sink, looking up at my reflection in the mirror. I look like shit. Like seriously it’s terrifying how fucked up I look, like I haven’t eaten or slept in days. Thissituationis going to be much harder to hide if I don’t pull my shit together. I need to start figuring out how to keep my food down, maybe eat some more saltine crackers and that ginger candy Sarah bought me, maybe even some of that gross as fuck fizzy water. And I need to go into town and stock up on a shit ton of makeup to hide my scary appearance.

Once I’ve showered, changed, and made myself look at least seemingly presentable, I walk into the living room finding Scar and Stella watching me with careful eyes as I emerge from my bedroom. They stare at me as if I’m made of glass or some explosive about to detonate, worry and fear clouding their gazes. Fuck do I still look like that much of a mess. I pulled my hair up into a loose bun, rimmed my eyes in liner and mascara, and even managed a bit of concealer and foundation over my dark circles. My uniform fits me looser than before, which is odd because I thought you were supposed to gain weight when you’re pregnant not lose it, but I’ve also barely managed to keep any food down so there’s that.

Irritated by their blank stares and lack of words, I walk up to the kitchen cabinet and grab a bottle of ibuprofen, but just as I’m about to pour some into my hand, I freeze. Fuck, I’m not sure if I should be taking this. Ugh I hate that I have to be more careful now about what I do especially since I have no idea what it is I’m doing. I’ll have to text Sarah later and ask if it’s safe and I probably should think about going to see a doctor or something. Ugh, just the thought makes my stomach cringe, so instead I throw the bottle of pills into my bag not wanting to make my reluctance to take them evident. But when I turn back around their gazes are still glued to me.

“Well are you two just going to stare all damn day or are wegoing to get breakfast?” I ask, urging Stella to grab her bag and head straight to the front door. But Scarlett doesn’t move.

“Jade we need to talk,” she mutters, stepping forward. Her hair is in its usual style, slick straight and past her shoulders, her uniform fitting like a second skin, and make up as always on point. But the look in her eyes is off. There is a ghostly shadow hiding behind her blue irises clearly haunting her every thought. It pains me to see my sister this way lacking her usual spark. She’s worn this haunting stare for so long and now when she’s finally defeated all the evil that threatened to consume her, now that she can finally be happy with the love of her life, she looks anything but.

But I can’t, I’m not ready. “I told you I wasn’t ready for that Scar. I get you’re sorry, I get you’ve been through a whole lot lately, but I’m not fucking ready, so can we go back to acting like nothing happened and get to class, or should I just go on my own.”

Scar nods her head in defeat, grabbing her bag from beside the couch and motioning for me to walk before her.

My first dayback to school after my two-week hiatus is going a lot smoother than I expected. Grayson mentioned she’d called the academy and told them I had a family emergency and would be out for a few weeks. Funny since as far as they know, I have no family. Nonetheless they agreed, managing to send me my assignments, which luckily for me midterms had just passed so there weren’t very many. But the way the professors looked at me when I mentioned my absence, as if it was the most normal and understandable thing, makes me wonder if it was someone else who excused my absence. Perhaps someone, or a group of someone’s who hold more power in this school than any adult ever could.

But I shrug off the thought, not really caring who said what, and tucking it away into the back of my hippocampus where allmy recent thoughts have been indexed into for a later retrieval, as I walk out toward the field for my last period. Gym class is always my favorite when we get to step out of our state-of-the-art gym and onto the football field where all the gorgeous, hunky athletes are practicing. I also happen to have Stella and Scar for this class, but after skipping out on lunch and spending it going over everything I missed in anatomy with Professor Davis, I have yet to see them.

But what I do see, or rather who, is a flawless head of golden blonde hair, and gleaming tanned muscle running toward the sideline of the field. He immediately sees me, and jogs over to where I stand on the track field. Instead of wearing his lacrosse practice uniform consisting of shorts and a tank, he’s shirtless wearing nothing but his football padded pants, holding his helmet in his hand.

His glistening white smile reflects off the rays of the sun, as he comes to stand before me. “Hey there gorgeous,” he says, calling me by his usual choice of adjective.

“I thought football season was over?” I ask, clearly knowing full well it is but still curious to know why he’s having football practice instead of lacrosse.

“Yeah it is, we’re just practicing for a friendly charity game we’re playing in a couple weeks with the team from Pleasant Hills actually. We never play them in season since they’re public and we’re not, but it’s something Headmaster Servite and his brother set up before the um, accident.” He shrugs his shoulders as he mentions the unfortunate freak accident the Servite family claimed happened at their Manor two weeks ago, killing Wesley Servite and his guests. Luckily, no one else was home when a “gas leak” in the kitchen caused an explosion when mixed in with the stove burner being left on. It’s always a gas leak.

“I guess it’s like being held in his honor and the money they’re raising is building Pleasant Hills, a new cutting-edge stadium. They’re team is pretty great from what I hear. Any advice?” heasks, confusing me slightly. But then I realize he’s asking because I used to go to that high school. Fuck I didn’t even know we had a team, well other than the quarterback, running back, and kicker I may or may not have made out with in the back of some seedy car. Not at the same time of course.

“Hmm well other than telling you how to seduce their quarterback or all about how he’s a sloppy kisser, I think I’m out of my area of expertise,” I joke, well not really joking, causing him to laugh wholeheartedly.

“I swear Jade, you are a breath of fresh air compared to the girls around here.” I take that as a compliment, I guess, as I meet his playful gaze noticing something I hadn’t earlier seen. I reach my hand up running my fingers over the purplish bruise forming under his left eye leading down to the small cut on his lower lip. I gently run my thumb over the scabbing gash.

I don’t realize what I’m doing until I hear him inhale sharply, his body stiffening before me.Fuck. I quickly drop my hand, stepping back slightly but he quickly reaches back for me. His fingers intertwined along with mine as his eyes look intensely at me.

“Go out with me Jade,” he mutters under his breath, his voice low and husky, dripping with seduction. “Dinner this Friday night.”

I stare blankly at him unsure of what to reply. I can’t lead him on, not in mycondition, not with Sebastian lurking around like a fucking predator stalking his prey. I mean look what happened to Liam, just because of the simple fact he offered me a ride home and a meal. Yet here he is doing it once again.

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