Page 39 of Redemption's Inferno

“You said it, not me.”

“I promised Jamie, not long after he got out of the hospital, if they would let me stay with them until I could figure out my situation, I would have a baby for him. He wants a biological child very much, and this way his child and Viggo’s child would be half-siblings and any other children I ever have would also be half-siblings. There would never be awkward decisions about holidays and such—we could spend them together. All the adults, all the children…unconventional, but filled with love and friendship and all the good things many families can’t even dream of providing! Maybe you think it’s weird, but divorce didn’t change the bond Viggo and I have or the friendship I’ve come to have with Jamie.”

Chains was momentarily taken aback. In theory, it was a wonderful way to raise a family, especially for two men like Viggo and Jamie who were the oddest combination of traditional and unconventional he’d ever met. For Emilie, however, it could get complicated. Any man she eventually wound up with would have to not just like Jamie and Viggo, he would have to be willing to accept this arrangement and most men would probably find it unsettling. To someone who didn’t get their unconventional relationship, it would easily seem like competition.

Not me, he thought abruptly, as it dawned on him how much he liked Viggo and Jamie. Being part of their family wouldn’t be a bad thing. Would it?! What the hell was he doing? He’d probably asked himself this question a hundred times since he’d rescued Emilie from Cuddy and it was starting to make him crazy.

“Anyway.” Emilie watched the play of emotions on his face with a sinking feeling and began to gather the lotions she’d put on the nightstand. She’d obviously ruined any chance they had to be together, and she didn’t want him to see how much it bothered her; she’d known he wasn’t interested in anything permanent anyway. “It is what it is. I have to talk to Nate about going to see the Browns and then—”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re stubborn?” he growled, plucking the lotions from her hands and tossing the bottles aside as he advanced on her.

Her eyes widened. “What are you doing?”

“Did you call last night a mistake?” he asked in a voice that was more like a growl, looking down into her startled face.

“Well…” She met his gaze without flinching. “It would seem that it was.”

“Why? Because we were interrupted and I had to spend the night downstairs making sure no one came back to finish the job?”

“Er, well…no, I mean, I know how you feel about getting involved and now that I’m not going to prison for the rest of my life, we have to work together so—”

“Shut. Up.” He gripped her by the shoulders and yanked her against his chest. He took her mouth with an intensity that bordered on painful. When she didn’t respond, he instantly released her, his eyes boring into hers.

“What are you trying to prove?” she asked sadly. “You already know I want you physically.”

“But?” he growled, taking both of her hands in one of his and lifting them over her head, pressing them against the wall. “You don’t want me now that you’ve had me? Because I’m not a challenge anymore? You wanted to see if the mistress could take the master? That it?” His face was barely a millimeter from hers, his eyes dark and filled with anger. She could only stare back in confusion, unsure what he was carrying on about. If he didn’t want to get serious with her, why was he arguing?

“No…” she whispered. “I don’t want anything from you—I got the greatest thing anyone has ever given me from you. If anything, I should be submitting to you, not dominating.”

He froze, myriad emotions washing over him as he realized he was being an ass. “That’s not what I meant,” he said, suddenly unsure where he was going with this. He felt like a dog in heat trying to mark his territory somehow. “I…” He released her hands and let his palm brush down the side of her face until she unconsciously nestled into it. “I didn’t give you anything.”

“Darryl.” Her voice was sultry, soft, as full of emotion as he’d ever heard it. “Helping me find the truth about Adam is the greatest gift anyone could ever give me. I was on the verge of losing everything—including my sanity. You’ve given me my life back, so I would give you anything you asked of me. But I won’t be your play thing and I know how you feel about serious relationships. I thought maybe after this week you’d changed your mind, but as soon as that intruder came last night, I could see it in your eyes, the way you immediately pulled away.

“You hide your feelings behind the fear someone from your past will come to hurt the people you love. Just as I hid mine from my husband because I was afraid my past would ultimately hurt him as well. I recognized that look in your eyes because I’ve looked at it in the mirror for the last eight years…that’s also why I can let you go. I understand. I know why you wouldn’t stay with me. And I’ve mucked things up now anyway—you can’t possibly want me, knowing I’m carrying another man’s child.”

His eyes never left her face and the fingers of his hand began slowly caressing her neck. “Knowing whose child it is and why you’re carrying it makes a huge difference,” he admitted. “You’re doing something noble, beautiful—the ultimate gift to your daughter’s fathers.”

She gulped, nodding. “I wanted this for them—I just didn’t expect to find…you…at the same time.”

“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted, suddenly stepping back and dropping his hands. “I’ve never even considered getting involved like this with someone…you already have a child and now another on the way. Even though they’re not mine, being together would make them…at least partially mine, and therefore potential targets. The intruder last night, Em, it can’t be a coincidence. It can’t!”

“Do you honestly believe these people from your days as a spy were watching your mother’s house all this time? Every day for five years, just waiting for you to arrive? It’s not rational, Chains. Everything else aside, it makes no sense. Not unless…” She hesitated.

“Say it.” He cocked his head, interested in what she had to say. “Not unless what?”

“Not unless Nate is somehow involved.”

He nodded. “I thought of that, but Joe and Warren are both checking him out. So far, they’ve found nothing. Until they do, Mum would never forgive me if I didn’t give him a chance.”

“I know.” She stepped around him and sank onto the edge of the bed, resting her elbows on her thighs and her chin in her hands.

“I got a text from Nate,” he said after a moment. “Fred and Adeline Brown are away on holiday. The neighbor says they’ll be back Friday, so that’s the earliest you’ll be able to talk with them.”

“Oh.” She seemed startled. “I wasn’t, I guess I didn’t think they’d be away.”

He didn’t say anything, just watched the play of emotions on her face; resignation, confusion, and…hope?

“So we have another week.” She spoke hesitantly.

---