Page 18 of Redemption's Inferno

“I wouldn’t say them if they weren’t true.”

“Anyway, I tried to pretend the whole thing never happened and about five years or so ago, Therese showed up in Stockholm asking if I wanted to be in a photo shoot with her. I said yes, and thus began my modeling career. It was okay for a while, shooting for small magazines and catalogues in Sweden and Norway. I did a thing in Greece that actually paid well and got me some success, but by then Therese had started nagging me about Karl.”

“What did she think you could do, exactly?”

“She thought by having an in with me she would be around when he came home in the summer and I could nudge them back together. It didn’t work that way, though. He didn’t come home very often and she started to get desperate. When she got our friend Otto to seduce Viggo and me, she recorded it and started making demands: Tell her when Karl is home, tell her who he’s involved with, tell her where he’s living… For a while I held her off but when she threatened to put the video online and send it to both my parents and Viggo’s, I didn’t know what to do. I begged her not to and she started making me do things that were unpleasant.”

“Sex?” he asked, his jaw twitching as he tried to contain his anger.

“Sex, drugs…more videos.” She shrugged. “And then Mama got sick and Karl came home for nearly two months. Despite everything she did to change his mind, Karl didn’t have feelings for her and went home to Kate. Although it was a terrible ordeal with Therese going crazy and killing Dante’s fiancée and his manager, it was such a relief to get out from under her control. I got pregnant right when that was all over, and that distracted me for about a year. It wasn’t until Viggo and I got married I started thinking about Adam again…and when the nightmares started, I knew I had to turn myself in. I’m so tired of being controlled…by Therese, by this Adam thing—I have to find redemption, Chains. I have to.”

“You will,” he said softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “I’ll help you.”

“Why?” she asked, finally looking over at him. “We’re friends, but not that close, really. What’s in this for you?”

“First, because Becca and Viggo asked me to. Second, because Warren also asked. And finally, because although we’re not that close, we’re still friends, and I have a past too, things I did as a spy that haunt me too. Maybe if I can help you come to terms with your demons, the rumbling inside me will quiet as well.”

She softly squeezed his hand, understanding exactly what he meant. “Thank you,” was all she said.

“Did you hear that those bastards that attacked Jamie were found guilty?” he asked after a moment.

She nodded. “Yes, I saw it on my phone yesterday before the, er, events started at Cuddy’s. I sent him a quick note to tell him how happy I was.”

They were quiet again for a few minutes and then he chuckled. “So, I haven’t seen my mum in more than five years and she’s bound to be emotional. She’s going to think there’s something between us, no matter what I say, and I’m thinking it would be easier to just let her think it. Later on, I can tell her we split but are still friends. Is that okay with you?”

She frowned. “Of course, but…don’t you feel odd deceiving her like that? What if she likes me? What if I like her?”

“She’s definitely going to like you,” he grinned. “And I’m pretty sure you’re going to like her—everyone does. She’s special like that.”

“Then why have you stayed away for five years?” Emilie asked incredulously. “I could never stay away from my mum that long!”

He grimaced. “Safer for her, you know? I’m out of the spy game now, but people in that world have long memories. Best if I keep a low profile.”

“As a security guard at a Las Vegas sex club?” She couldn’t help but grin at him.

He nodded. “Exactly.”

Chapter 7

Shit, she thought miserably, both aroused and frustrated. On top of all her other problems, she definitely didn’t need a broken heart. He sent the most mixed signals of any man she’d ever known and it was confusing. Until yesterday, there had never been anything personal between them and his sudden interest was a bit unnerving. Sex was easy, and she’d slept with more men than she cared to count, but it had been a long time since she’d been this worked up after a brief kiss. Even longer since she’d been this confused. Other than Viggo, she’d rarely given men a second thought. Her usual method was to have sex and move on. With Viggo, their marriage had been brief but the sex had been plentiful and satisfying—to the extent her emotional issues had allowed her to enjoy it. She’d become obsessed with spanking and whipping, something Viggo disliked. Jamie, however, loved it and the last few months had provided her both the physical pain she’d craved as well as the emotional bond she had with both of them. Though she wouldn’t classify it as love, it was definitely friendship that was a lot deeper than most of the relationships she’d ever had.

It had been around three weeks since they’d last had sex and she found herself missing it. Both the physical and emotional, she realized. Viggo was deeply in love with Jamie, but he and Emilie had known each other for over a decade and between their marriage, their daughter, and Emilie’s complete support of his bisexuality, they were closer than any other divorced couple she’d ever known. By the same token, Jamie loved Viggo enough to understand the bond she and Viggo shared, and he’d been equally loving and supportive of her as she’d spiraled out of control the last couple of months. Being without them now left her lonely, and Chains’ sudden attention was showing her just how much she missed home.

Slipping down the stairs and out the front door, she walked towards the fountain that was now softly lit by bulbs along the edges. The water glowed prettily and she reached out a hand to let it wash over her fingers. She had nowhere to go and nothing to do, for the first time in a long time, and it was an odd feeling that added to her loneliness. Everything that had happened had been of her own doing, but she was beginning to realize just how far she’d pushed everyone away. Her twin was still furious with her for marrying a man he’d been sure would hurt her, and he’d sent her a scathing email after the divorce had been final. Karl had said he would talk to him, but she was too intent on her own misery to worry about Sebastian. Now she felt bad about that; they were twins and had shared almost everything up until she’d decided to keep her pregnancy a secret.

She’d also kept her distance from Karl, his wonderful wife, Kate, and even their mother, who was in Las Vegas for a few months. Shame, fear they would judge her and reluctance to answer the questions that would undoubtedly come if she allowed them to get close enough had been her motivation, but now it felt wrong. If she was going to prison, she’d wasted time that could have been spent with her family and people she cared about. They would be so disappointed in her, but they would still love her. Of that she was sure. It just seemed so complicated to explain what had happened and why she needed to put the past behind her. Of everyone, she knew Karl would understand and support anything she wanted to do, but the thought of disappointing him had made her reluctant to share anything.

Impulsively, she pulled out her phone. Without giving herself a chance to change her mind, she dialed his number and waited as it rang.

“Em?” Karl sounded out of breath.

“Hi. Do you have a minute?”

“I’m just leaving the gym, but of course I have time. Are you okay? Where are you?”

“I’m fine. I’m with Chains, visiting his mum—long story.”

“What’s going on, Em? Everyone is worried about you and it seems you’ve told all of us a slightly different story about where you are and what you’re doing.”

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