Page 4 of Chasing Amber

I shake my head. “No. Never. We don’t discuss it. I only know he’s a Daddy Dom because I’ve heard Spence mention it. I’ve never even gone to Surrender on the same nights as him. Plus, I didn’t really internally acknowledge I have a Little side until recently. I didn’t admit it out loud to anyone until I told Spence and Ben’s girlfriend, Cassandra.”

I’m so glad my brother has finally found a woman to love and opened his heart. I’m equally pleased he shares her with his long-time bodyguard, Ben. It was Ben who rescued me from that basement. My brother hired him on the spot, and the two of them instantly formed a friendship that runs so deep thatthey share their Little girl.

I’m also jealous that Spence has managed to bury his fears and let someone into his heart. I haven’t had the will to do that. I think we both suffer from the same internal panic that loving other people is risky. They might die. Our parents did.

Millie clears her throat, dragging me back to the present. “Have you explored your Little side at Surrender?”

I groan and roll my head back. “I haven’t gone to Surrender in months. Isaac refuses to let me go on nights he’s there. And my brother refuses to let me go on the nightshe’sthere. They both try hard to find any reason not to let me go to the club.”

“You are thirty—a grown adult. You could go without their permission,” she points out.

I consider her words. “Maybe, but there’s no way either of them would let me go without a bodyguard. I don’t think Isaac trusts anyone else to protect me properly, so he’s reluctant to let me go anywhere at all when he’s not the one with me.”

Millie’s brows rise. “So, your bodyguard doesn’t trust other people to protect you.” She’s not asking a question. She’s making a point.

I rub my temples and groan.

“That sounds like a boyfriend, Amber. Not a bodyguard. A very concerned boyfriend who’s extremely dominant and protective. How many hours a week does he work for you?”

I bite my lip as I think about it. Hours? Isaac isalwayswith me. I can’t even remember when he last took a night off to go to Surrender or anywhere else. When was the last time he left someone else to guard me?

I run a hand through my hair again. Lordy. I’ve never put much thought into the fact that no one takes over for him. It happened gradually. He moved into my spare bedroom almost a year ago. He and Spence decided it would be easier if he lived with me. Less commuting. Less hassle.

Isaac has no life.

I’m an idiot. A self-absorbed idiot.

All I ever think about is avoiding him. I never think about the fact that he’s given up his life to be with me nearly full-time. Why would he do that?

I blow out a breath. “He never leaves me.”

Millie blinks. “Never?”

I shake my head. “I assume my brother pays him a fortune to be my personal bodyguard.” That’s a lame excuse.

Millie leans forward. “Amber, nobody works twenty-four-seven for any amount of money. Not unless they’re getting something else out of it.”

I gasp. “Trust me. He’s not getting anything else out of it.” I’m offended she would even suggest such a thing. If I were having sex with Isaac, she would know.

She winces. “I didn’t mean to imply you were sleeping with him. I meant to point out that he cares about you far more than a bodyguard cares about a client.”

I stare at her. “Do you really think so?”

“I know so.”

“But I’m a pain in the ass.”

She chuckles. “Oh, I know you are. And has he left?”

“No.” I turn and look out the window again, thinking. I have never discussed this possibility with anyone. I haven’t even allowed myself to consider the idea. Why? Self-preservation?

Isaac and I have an odd relationship. Mostly, I’m a brat, and he’s frustrated. He nevereverloses his cool, but he has a way of making me feel like I’m very naughty with just a disapproving look.

The truth is I like it. I like it when I infuriate him and the only outward sign I’ve done so is the tic of his jaw and his narrowed eyes. I’ve seen him flex his hand on many occasions, too. I like to think he does it when he wants to spank me. I’ve made that up in my head, but what if it’s true?

The thought of Isaac taking me over his knees and spanking me until I cry invades my thoughts often. I don’t say a word, but I push him and push him. Is it because I like to see that look on his face? The one that says he’s my Daddy and I’m in big trouble?

I’d give anything if he finally snapped one time, grabbed my arm, hauled me over his thighs, pulled down my pants, and spanked my ass until I couldn’t sit for two days. I can’t thinkof anything I’d like more in the world—except maybe for him to fuck me clear into tomorrow afterward.

---