Page 137 of Ever With Me

She looked away. “That doesn’t sound like living to me. It sounds like prison. Like the world has become your prison.”

Exactly.

“I couldn’t have put it better myself. Which is why I have to go. I’m not about to drag you into that prison with me. You deserve the sun on your face, to live your life with complete, uninhibited joy, free of scrutiny. I refuse to take that from you. We said one day at a time and time’s up. Today proved that.”

She didn’t respond and he took that as his cue to leave.

He showered quickly, trying not to think about what it was doing to his heart to leave her tonight.It has to be done.

Better now, before I’m in any deeper.

But when he arrived back in the bedroom, he found her curled up in bed, wearing his shirt. His bag was unpacked, his clothes folded neatly in the top drawer of the dresser she’d cleared out for him.

He sat on the edge of the bed. “Maddie . . .”

“Just get in bed, Brooks. I can’t deal with this tonight. It’s been a long day and I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t deserve to be alone right now.” She reached up to her nightstand and flipped off her lamp, plunging them into darkness.

His shoulders sank and he crawled into bed beside her but didn’t get under the sheets. Setting a hand on her waist, he said, “We don’t have to fight, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

“Are you my boyfriend or not?”

“What?”

She turned toward him and even though he couldn’t see her face, he knew she was looking at him. “If I’m your girlfriend, and not just some woman you spent the last two weeks fucking, then you don’t get to leave without us talking things through. I mean, I guess you could, but that would just make you a complete and spineless asshole. I don’t know what your plan was here, Brooks, but the moment you started arelationshipwith me—even if it was aone day at a timecop-out—you should have thought about what happens next.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you can’t meet my family, and spend time with me, and call meyoursand then treat me like I’m just someone to be discarded the second something goes wrong. You’re going back to LA? Fine. But what does that mean for us? We break up? Never see each other again? Or does that mean we’re dating long distance now? Or do you want an open relationship? Because it sure seems like you’re thinking option A, and that pisses me off. Plus, the fact that I wasattackedtoday, and you’re even considering leaving. Now lay the fuck down and go to bed. I’m not doing this tonight.”

Us.

There is an us here now, you jackass.

He dropped his hand from her side. Unbuttoning his jeans, he took them off, then pulled his shirt off and got under the sheets. Anger and tension radiated from her side of the bed and he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.

He’d spent so long alone.

Not just single, but alone.

Every decision he made was about him, for him.

Nous.

But she’d come into his life like an unexpected storm, breathing life into the darkness, a beat into his heart. Yes, maybe he’d let the initial raw and sexual attraction control the start of their relationship.

Two weeks in, though, and they were at a crossroads.

Was she just someone he was fucking?

The thought turned his stomach.

Not a chance.

But if he got any more involved with her, tearing himself away would be impossible. Just a little farther down the tracks and this train would pick up unstoppable speed. Did it make him a coward if he pulled on the brakes now? Wasn’t that the wiser choice to avoid more situations like today to occur in Maddie’s life? He’d never forgive himself if Maddie got seriously hurt.

Never.

He could walk away now.

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