Page 22 of Falling for a Killer

Her words feel better than I expected even though they make me frown. She’s right, she sees me, and I don’t really know how to feel about that.

I thought killing the man who ruined my life would bring me some sort of peace, and instead it put me in a place where I’ll never feel peace again.

I don’t regret it. I can’t. But that doesn’t mean he won’t haunt me while I live on the run forever. Still, Lawson was a bad man, a piece of shit rich guy who got away with anything and everything all because he had money. I don’t feel any remorse for him at all. He deserved what I did to him.

Joey doesn’t. “Thanks for saying that.” I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it, but to be fair I don’t know if I ever will be. “Do you want to know what happened?”

“I can’t say I haven’t been curious, but it’s up to you. I won’t make you tell me.”

My fingers flex, my chest tightens, and I feel my heart rate speed up slightly before releasing a breath and diving in. “He killed my mom.” I haven’t said that sentence out loud since I screamed it to the police officers, and it isn’t any easier this time than it was then. “It was one of those drunk driving accidents people like me go away for, but not people of a higher class.No, for those people it gets brushed under the rug after they toss some money around, and the victims left behind have to pick up the pieces.” Even I can hear the anger in my voice, the exhaustion I have with a corrupt system filled with people who hide behind the Bible, and I don’t try to hide how I feel inside. Not with her. “I was in the car with her. I walked away with a concussion and six stitches on the side of my head and she didn’t walk away at all. She was killed instantly, and he didn’t even spend one fucking night in the drunk tank.”

Her fingers twitch as she reaches out to touch my face. “I’m so sorry. It’s not fair, it’s never been fair. No wonder you’re starting a revolution.”

“I don’t know about that, but I don’t understand how more people aren’t fucking tired of this. How long will we walk around like everything is okay while letting people like that keep us down? We outnumber them — we’re the other 99% and yet we bend or break to them? Because of money? Fuck money.”

I lean into her touch before she takes it away, but she doesn’t move.

“Haven’t you been paying attention? They don’t know who you are, but people are rallying behind you. The support you have from the public is unmatched. They don’t know why you did it either but it doesn’t matter. You stood up to them. You reminded the 99% that the elite bleed red just like them.”

I want to kiss her so bad right now it takes everything not to. “The news is still calling me a villain, and I haven’t looked anywhere else. Can you show me?”

“Yes.” Sitting up, she grabs her laptop and clicks around, and somehow it just now occurs to me that she could’ve used that to call for help at any time.

I really suck at this. “You had that in here the whole time?” I don’t know why but the knowledge that she could have turned me in at any point and didn’t helps ease all that tension insideof me as she pulls up the first article. “I’m an idiot.” But it seems that’s not all I am. Jack Lawson didn’t just kill my mom, he fucked over countless people, put a child in a wheelchair for life drunk driving before he ever crashed into us, and to top it all off he raped more women than we know of. He was a monster, and the world is a better place without him. “Holy shit.”

“Mmhm. Now look.” She switches to social media, showing me hundreds, maybe thousands of comments from people saying they hope I never get caught. That they’re proud of me, that they wish more people had my balls. They’re calling for change, real change.

I doubt we’ll ever get it, but this is more than I ever expected.

“If they knew how hot you were, the internet would explode.”

I meet her eyes and huff a laugh, but with how intensely she’s staring into mine I see she wasn’t joking. “You think that’d matter?”

She pulls up a thirst trap someone made from just seeing my eyes, and all the talk about men in masks, and I can’t help but smile. Women on the internet are feral.

“They love a man who stands up for what’s right. They love him even more when he looks like he could command the shadows around him.”

“And what about you? Where do you fall in this?”

“I’m with them. The newscasters keep saying violence is never the answer, but that’s false. Violence was always the answer, we’re just too afraid to do it. Change has never been brought about by asking nicely.”

Yeah. I’m a fucking goner. It won’t take me a year to fall for Joey if she keeps saying things like this. “I—” I clear my throat and try to pretend I didn’t just have that brain blip. “I agree. When I was eleven I was being bullied by this kid. I was shorter than him so he would make jokes about my height and overpower me when he could. He was reported multiple times,and they never even gave the guy a detention because he was the chief of police’s son. Most of the time I ignored him because my mom always told me not to hit people, but I wanted to hit him so bad, Joey. I used to lay in bed and think about punching him in the nose and what the crack would sound like. One day I went to school and he walked up and shoved me against the wall and I lost it. I beat the shit out of this kid because I believed he deserved it, and you want to know what happened? He never bullied anyone again. I got suspended, but it was worth it, and I learned that day that sometimes you have to make it right all on your own. The system won’t help you.”

“I get it. My parents do a lot, but it’ll never truly change anything. They make a difference where they can but I think they’re too scared to do anything real. I think you’re a hero, Killian. Even if nothing comes of this, you brought people together for a couple of weeks. That’s not something everyone can say.” She closes her laptop and sets it back down, then rolls to face me again. “If you ever do get caught, I’ll make sure you get the best lawyer money can buy.”

“Even after what I’ve done to you?”

“Good point. The dozen orgasms were really terrible, I’ve changed my mind. It’s the chair for you for sure.”

I want to give her so much more, but I bite back that comment to keep from scaring her away. “I was thinking the hostage bit, but yeah, let’s focus on those instead.”

“Yeah, but... I get it. You can’t let me go.”

The scary part is I’m starting to believe I could. I just know I don’t want to. “Well, I can’t let you go until you fall in love with me.”

She smiles sadly and settles back into the pillow, closing her eyes. “Good thing we’ve got nothing but time.”

I reach out and slide my hand along her cheek like she did to me, swiping my thumb along her perfect lips. “Good thing we do.”

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