Page 64 of Falling for a Killer

He fingers a little more inside and then rubs his cum into my skin, using gentle, almost soothing circles. There won’t be any part of me unaffected by him.

Maybe there already wasn’t.

“I’ll get you out, Killian. I promise. I don’t care if my entire family goes bankrupt hiring lawyers and paying for appeals if we lose the trial, I’ll get you out. Do you trust me?”

Killian turns me around to face him, his eyes locking with mine before he responds. “I trust you. I don’t want to make your lives harder or cause your family to go bankrupt, but I believe you when you say it. You’re so fierce about the things you love, and I won’t ever deny I’m lucky to be one of those things. If anyone can find a way, it’s you.”

I hope I can prove worthy of his trust, but before I can say anything else, the guard who brought him here bangs on a pipe down the hall. “Our time is up for now, but I’ll be back. Don’t lose hope, okay? Promise me. Promise me you won’t lose hope.”

“Wait,” he rushes out, grabbing my face so he can press his forehead to mine and drink me in one last time. “I love you, Roo. I promise I won’t lose hope.”

“I love you too. Now go, don’t get in trouble for this.” One more kiss later, I gently shove him away from me, knowing he’ll never go on his own.

I watch him until he’s out of sight, then grab the discarded blanket and force myself to head the opposite direction.

Donna meets me at the back door where she let me in, screwing up her nose when she takes in the sight of me. “What the fuck happened to you?” she hisses, but all I can do is smirk.

“Yeah. What thefuckindeed.”

Thirty-Two:

Support

Killian

Killian,

I think I’ll die still covered in your cum, you know that? I’m not mad about it, I just thought you’d like to know that you bleached my little black dress. There are now discolored spots marking every inch of fabric you covered, and I can’t bring myself to throw it out. It’s funny, but also makes me miss you like crazy. That wasn’t enough time. I’m hoping Donna can work some magic again, but I don’t want to pester her too much about it when she’s busy mounting your defense.

She tells me things are looking good, so I’ve just been keeping busy. The AirBnB I’m staying at isn’t far from the prison and my parents are supposed to join me soon, so I won’t be alone for long. They said they have some people they can talk to in the media that can help me tell the truth about who Lawson really was, so hang tight and try not to watch the news for the next few weeks unless you’re prepared to watch me lose my shit on camera.

You asked me about a favorite memory and all I can think about is the time Violet dragged me on a roller coaster when I was eight. It was terrifying, exhilarating, and completely unexpected. I screamed like a baby and begged them to stop it the second they released the brake, had a panic attack for 90% of it, and then begged to ride again once we were done. I think I’ve been thinking about that moment a lot because that’s how my relationship with you has been. I was terrified and resistant, but once I let go... well, you know the rest.

Your turn.

I love you, Killian. Don’t forget that while you’re in there, or once you get out and see all the people thirsting over you. You’re mine, and I’m yours.

So yes, you told me so,

Roo

I think I’ve read her letter five times in just as many minutes. I’m still not able to make phone calls, but I’m thankful Steel makes communicating with my girl possible at all. I miss her so much it affects me physically, so any piece of her I can have right now, I’ll take. I wish we had more time to share these stories in person, but I’m happy we at least have this. Her letter has me daydreaming about that brief visit we had, and I swear I still feel her clenching around me. Fuck, I can’t think about that right now.

My cellmate Taylor is in the corner scribbling around on some paper without paying me any mind, and based on the thick stack next to him, I’d guess he’s nearing the end of his book. When we met, he immediately launched into a speech about relationships in prison and how he thinks his novel will go far, then offered me a stale cookie in exchange for my promise that I’ll proofread it. He seems like a good dude, keeps mostly to himself, and showed me all the good hiding places to put my letters and shit I don’t want guards to see. Things could be worse.

Life feels different now that I’m out of solitary, but I still haven’t found my footing. People are either falsely praising me or avoiding my gaze entirely, but I have to admit it’s nice not having to be afraid. I don’t trust anyone here, but I also don’t feel like anyone wants to hurt me so that has to be enough for now.

“Hey, Tay. I don’t mean to interrupt your flow, but can I borrow a piece of paper and a pencil?”

He looks over at me as he pulls out a fresh sheet. “Not really borrowing paper when you can’t return it,” he jokes.

“Yeah, but I’ll return the pencil.”

“True that. Plus, I don’t need you to return the paper because I’m almost done.” He seems genuinely excited about that, and I offer him a smile.

“Good shit. How long have you been working on it?”

“I started about a year after I got in. I was lost for a while like most of us, but once I found something to write about, things got easier. Next month is six years inside, so I’d say this book took me about five. It’s hard when people in prison don’t really want to open up about their relationships, but I’ve got some good material. Have you heard about Lock & Key?”

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