Page 59 of Falling for a Killer

I know I have to do something to counter her bullshit just like Donna said, but I’ve been deliberately trying to stay off the radar. I still have Ryan to contend with and I’m of more use in the shadows here.

I just wish I could make the world see the truth.

Twenty-Nine:

Jealousy

“Joey, breathe,” my mom begs, interrupting a run-on sentence that might’ve broken a world record. “You say you trust him, right? Would you want him getting upset over things from your past?”

No, but this is different. “I do trust him. I do. But he made it seem like he never really loved anyone, and he certainly never mentioned babies or proposals, so I don’t think it’s the same thing as getting angry with him for something from his past. I’m mad about a lie in the present.”

“But you just said you trust him. If you do, then you should believe his side of things and not hers. It sounds like she’s just trying to make herself out to be more special to him than she really was. People do that sort of thing all the time, particularly in high profile cases. You’ve watched enough true crime to know that.”

“Yes, but—”

“When she was talking, did you believe her? Did it seem like she was telling the truth?”

“No, but—”

“And when Killian told you about her, about his past, did it seem like he was telling the truth?”

Damn, she’s got me.

“Yes,” I mutter.

“Then stop. This is exactly what interviews like that are designed to do. They want Killian isolated from the few people who care about him. Don’t let them win.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry. I knew it was all fake, but...”

“But this is a really stressful situation and every emotion you have feels like it's kicked into overdrive?”

I exhale hard, letting my shoulders relax. “Yes. Exactly that.”

“If you’re really worried about it, talk to him. Ask him directly about the things she said and just clear the air. The next few months will be hard enough for the two of you without resentment building over things that are likely not even true.”

This is why I love my mom. We may not talk all the time, but she always makes me feel better. “I can’t talk to him right now, they won’t let me see him and they won’t let him make phone calls. Donna said his extradition is scheduled for next Tuesday so maybe I’ll have better luck in Blackridge.”

She hums, thinking for a moment. “So write him a letter. They can’t stop him from receiving letters.”

They can do whatever they want, but I see her point. Even if it never gets to him, I might feel better after getting it all out. “Okay, I will. Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome. We have a few things to wrap up over here but Violet sent us the address of the place you’ll be staying in Blackridge. Your father and I will be there as soon as we can to help you navigate all of this. I love you, Joey. Everything is going to be okay.”

It’s a little hard to believe that right now, but I have to. “I love you too. See you soon.”

Hanging up, I grab a piece of paper and a pen and sit down to write Killian a letter. Part of me hopes that he’ll never see it, but if he does, hopefully he’ll understand that he did this to me. I went from never wanting another boyfriend to being pissed off that he even gazed upon other women before me, so this is his fault, really. Not mine.

Killian,

I hope jail hasn’t ruined your spark yet, though I have to admit mine’s been a little put out. Did you know your ex Krystalis running around telling people you proposed multiple times and knocked her up? Yeah, that’s a thing that’s happening.

I’d like to think I know you well enough to know that none of that is real, but if it is, I hope you slip in the shower every time you step foot in one. I hope your pillow is made out of graphite and your toilet doesn’t flush quite right.

Now, I don’t ever want to hear her name again, so hush.

Things here have been fine, but the cabin is really empty without you and I have way too much food here now. It’s also weird that my panties are no longer going missing.

I just think it’s funny that you got all pissy with me about my exes and you failed to mention you were going to marry one of yours and start a family, but maybe you hate me because I don’t have a nose stud. Is that it? Do I need to get my nose pierced for you?

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