Page 39 of SEAL'S Secret Vows

“What about us? What do you want to know?”

“Anything. Everything. How you met.”

He shifts, looking uncomfortable. “It’s not that interesting.”

I feel a burst of irritation. He’s holding back on me. “So we’re fake married enough for sex but not a conversation?” I snap.

Immediately, I feel bad. I know I’m being sensitive because of how little I feel like I ever knew Ethan. But I don’t want to try something with Chase if it’s just physical. I don’t want to waste my time or my heart again.

His eyes search my face, and I know he can tell at least a little bit of what I’m feeling when he nods once, sharp and small.

“We used to be four, you know.” He says, voice casual, but his eyes are hard. He grabs a bottle of water from the table and takes a long drink of it.

“Four?” I probe gently. His brows furrow at the memory as he tries to hide the pain from the past. He stands and looks at the screen intensely at a particular location, squeezing his eyes shut many times as if willing the memories to go away.

“Yes, four,” he finally replies. He pockets both hands, but the fabric stretches taut from his clenched fists. How much pain is this man hiding? I tug on his hand, and he looks at me, his eyesfilled with different emotions that I’m unable to recognize, but they’re enough to make my toes twitch from the intensity.

“Come on.” He looks surprised as I pull him to a couch in the corner. “Sit down. Let’s talk.”

He sinks into the couch, his shoulders filled with tension. I gently massage his shoulders for a moment before taking his hand in mine. He grips my hand tightly and stares off into the distance.

“I let everyone down. Again. Just like the last time.” He confesses his voice strained.

“What is it that you’re not telling me?” I squeeze his hand to offer comfort as he shares the painful memories that haunt him.

“That same mission, the one I told you about, where we lost a lot of our comrades,” he says, his voice barely a whisper. “It haunts me every day. We lost good people that day. Jacob, Maxwell—those two people I cared about the most. I wish I could make up for it.”

I listen as he bears his heart and soul, offering whatever comfort I can. With each word he says, I find myself drawn to him in a different way, like my heart is connecting to his.

“I already lost those two. Jacob... he was like a brother to me,” Chase says, his voice breaking with grief. “I watched him fall, and I couldn't do anything to save him.”

My heart aches for him as he continues to share his ordeal.

“And Maxwell... he shielded me from a blast when trying to cover our escape. He almost never made it out. He left because he felt betrayed by the system. We haven’t been in contact since then.”

“Chase, you did everything you could. Sometimes things don't go according to plan, but that doesn't mean it's the end.”

He looks at me, his eyes searching mine for reassurance. “You don't understand, Nora. I don’t want to lose anyone else. Wehaveto solve this case.”

“And we will!” I affirm, cupping his face.

He looks at me, shaking his head. “But they're gone, Nora. And I can't shake the feeling that I let them down. If only I had been quicker, smarter, stronger... maybe things would have turned out differently. I blame myself for their losses,” he whispers, tears glistening in his eyes.

“It wasn’t your fault. Forgive yourself.”

He shakes his head and tries to free his head from my hands, but I tilt his head towards me again refusing to let him wallow in self-pity.

“Chase, listen to me. You’re not alone. We’re in this together. I’ve told you that multiple times and I’m saying it again. I’m with you. We’ll get through this together as a team.” I wipe a tear from his face before continuing. His eyes meet mine, searching for reassurance and I feel a pang of sympathy. “But only if you’ll let me and you’ll open up to me. I do not judge you. You’re a great leader and anyone in your shoes could not have done any better.” I watch as his expression changes and a glimmer of hope shines in his eyes.

“Look on the bright side and focus on those who are still with you.” He looks confused for a second and I continue. “Joseph and the rest of your team.” I say with emphasis. “Tell me about Joseph.”

The corner of his lips quirks in a familiar fashion bringing out the signature smile I know, and I make a mental fist bump.

“Joseph.” He starts reminiscing. “We’ve come a long way. We go way back, right from our college days. He always had my back, has always come through for me. He’s not just a friend, he’s a brother. He is as close to me as my sister, Lauren, is.”

“See. You still have someone. Focus your attention on that. Not on what is lost.”

“Yes, you’re right. You know, he risked his life to save mine. I’ll never forget that.”

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