Page 37 of The Forbidden Secret

It didn’t have an outward meaning or message, but as he stared at it, I could see that the effect had landed.

Maybe we were more kindred than I had once believed.

“It’s my most vulnerable piece,” I admitted as the silence dragged on for another moment.

“The painting reminds me of how it feels to scream into the void and hear nothing back. To scream and scream that I’mnotmy father. I have morals despite my occupation. I have demons, but that doesn’t mean Iama demon. It feels like I scream those things into the world, and nobody hears.” He ran a hand through his hair and sucked his lip ring into his mouth as he looked past me. “My father’s name was Andrew Coleman, and he was a monster. He was a serial killer.”

It didn’t feel appropriate to tell him that I had already learned that, so I reached forward and grabbed his hand, holding it in the hope of giving some sort of comfort or comradery.

He swallowed, and the sound filled the room with the effort it took him.

“It’s because of him that I can’t let myself be attached to a woman. After what he did—” he cut himself off and looked to the ceiling. I saw moisture fill his eyes, but not a single tear fell. He held them back and took a long moment to gather his composure.

My heart shattered at the show of emotion that I never would have expected from him.

“My mother was an immigrant, and she married my father because she wanted a family, and she wanted to have a family in this country. Her name was Talia, and she was a bright light. She was kind, and she would give the clothes off her back to anyone who needed them. But Andrew was a monster. I think Mom was grateful to him for giving her a family. She was grateful to be living in this country. She endured his abuse behind closed doors and kept me and my sister safe from it. I was oblivious. I didn’t evenknowuntil the weeks before her death.

“Andrew became more erratic in those weeks, and I didn’t know why. But he seemed constantly on edge. Then, my mom did the one thing Andrew always told her not to do. She went into the basement and found out about his… hobby. I didn’t learn until after that night that my mom released a tied-up woman in the basement, and Andrew caught her. He beat her horribly before I came out of my room and saw him over both Mom and Fiona—my little sister. Fiona heard the commotion before I did and tried to stop him, but she was too small and couldn’t overpower him.

“I tried. I did everything to get him away from them, but before I got there, he had already killed Fiona. Before I came out, he threw her into a wall, and her spine broke on impact. She was too small to survive something like that. I didn’t know she was already dead when I tackled him and got him away from my mom. I put up enough of a fight that he pulled out a gun and used that to subdue me. While we were fighting, my mom called for help, and when he saw her on the phone…”

This time, a teardidfall from his eyes as he stared at his knee and shared everything he remembered. I knew what wascoming next. I felt the tears streaming down my face as he told me the entire story. The news articles didn’t compare to the horror of what actually happened to him.

“He shot her, and he tried to shoot me. I was smaller, but I think I had enough adrenaline to give him a good fight. He did subdue me eventually. But because my mom called for help, the police showed up before he could finish the job. It wasn’t until much later that I learned about the woman my mom released—a woman who is alive because of her. I didn’t learn about the bodies buried beneath our house until weeks later when I was testifying in court. He was a serial killer, and he killed my entire fucking family.”

There weren’t words for that kind of tragedy. There was nothing I could say to make it better, but I continued holding his hand. I continued looking at him as he found his words.

“I became a killer just like him. And if I take the next steps with a woman—if I marry someone and have kids with them—will I take after him in that aspect, too? Will I hurt my family? I can’t take that chance. I can’t… I can’t hurtyou.”

Every domino fell into place. Every single thing. He was a killer, but he didn’t kill innocents. He had a dark history that shaped him, but itdidn’tdefine him. I thought back to what Jaimie had said a few days ago. I didn’t particularly believe that people could be read as easily as she thought, but… I had always been gifted atknowingpeople.

For those of us who grew up as ghosts with unreadable faces and stories, it’s easier to see past the “bullshit” and masks.

I could see past every one of Zeke’s masks, and what I saw didn’t scare me.

He wasn’t evil like his father.

I brought myself to my knees and scooted to the end of the bed. I was at eye level with him as I grabbed each side of his face and held it between my palms. “You’re not him,” I swore to him. “I see you, and you don’t scare me, Zeke.”

He wouldn’t meet my eyes as he shook his head. “I have spent my life trying to become a better man than him, yet I still kill people for a living. I live in a life of crime. Iamhim, and if I allow myself to fall for you, I will hurt you. I can’t risk that.”

“Zeke, youwon’t.”

How did I show him how much I believed in him? How did I prove to him that he wasn’t a monster, and I knew it with every fiber of my being? How did I tell him that his fear of commitment was rooted purely in fear, and he wouldn’t be this afraid if he were like his father. If he was this worried about becoming a monster, it would be impossible for him to become one.

“Evelina…”

A thought came to me, and I didn’t hesitate before acting on it. I grabbed one of his wrists and brought his hand to my throat, pressing it there as I grabbed his face again. His eyes went wide as he held my throat in his hands. “If I thought for a second that you were capable of hurting me—that you were anything like that man—I wouldn’t let you this close to me.” I scooted as close to him as I could bring myself. “You can do whatever you want with me. My life is in your hands. My future is in your hands.EverythingI am and will ever be is in your hands, and I know I can trust you with all of those things because even though I didn’t know all of your past, I have always knownyou.”

As I spoke the words, I knew they were true. Maybe he had not opened up to me. Maybe I had not known the reasons forhis behaviors or how deep that trauma went. But I knew that I would always be safe with him.

“I’m safe with you, Zeke. That will never change. I trust you, even if you don’t trust yourself.”

His throat bobbed as I swiped my finger beneath his eye and wiped away another tear.

“I will never deserve someone like you, Evelina.”

His lips were on mine in an instant. He wound an arm around my waist, not moving the hand that rested gently on my throat. He tightened it just enough to pull my head forward, and with my gasp, his tongue swept into my mouth. I shuddered beneath his touch, the exhilaration of trust and emotions rocking me to my core.

---