Page 49 of Pretending I'm Yours

“You are not. You’re one of the bravest people I know,” he says, leaning over to give me a quick kiss that makes me feel warm all over. “But we can take it slow until you feel safe.”

“All right,” I say, trusting him the way I have from the beginning.

He’s just so easy to trust, this man whose hand feels so familiar in mine as we wander toward Central Park West.

Fifteen minutes later, I’m pressed against Anthony’s back as we zip north into the Bronx in the bike lane, Pudge once again in his backpack between us. The cold air stings my cheeks but I’m not nearly as scared as I thought I’d be.

In fact, I can’t stop smiling.

“Hold on, turning left at the next intersection,” Anthony calls over his shoulder as he takes advantage of a green light to turn onto a quieter street.

I hug him tight, breathing in his cologne mixed with winter air, once again keenly aware of how lucky I am to be here. To be alive and healthy and sharing another amazing day with a manwho makes every wonderful thing even more wonderful because I get to share it with him.

When we finally reach our destination, the Cool Kitty Cat Café lives up to the photos, and then some.

Holiday lights twinkle along exposed brick walls, evergreen boughs adorn the mantle above a crackling fireplace in the main room, and the scent of coffee mingles with fresh-baked pastries and panini sandwiches. Cat trees and climbing shelves create a feline superhighway around the perimeter, where resident cats lounge like furry emperors, reminding me of Elaina’s motley crew at Sweet Pussy back home.

After we order paninis and a homemade cat treat cookie for Pudge and make our way to our table with a number to await the food, I tell Anthony about Elaina’s cat café where I first met Pudge, and the stir it made around our small town when it opened. “The name drove the fussy old ladies crazy. You would have thought she was shooting kittens in the street, not saving them from kill shelters.”

“No offense, but small towns sound awful,” Anthony says, setting Pudge down and opening the exit hatch on the carrier. “Everything I hear about them makes me glad I was born a big city boy.”

Pudge meows his apparent agreement as he emerges with a full-body shake and a luxurious stretch.

“Oh, hush,” I tell him. “You loved living at Elaina’s. But I’m glad you’re liking the city, too.”

“Me, too,” Anthony says, sending that warm rush of feeling through my chest again.

After a thorough inspection of his surroundings, my normally shy buddy makes his way to a window perch, where another chunky orange tabby that could be his twin greets him with a welcoming head bump. I decide to take it as a good omen that our move to the city truly is meant to be.

“Two mozzarella, tomato, and basil paninis?” The barista who took our order appears beside us, accompanied by a tiny black kitten who seems determined to climb her pant leg.

“Thanks,” Anthony says, taking the plates off her hands.

“Thanks, and sorry about Salem,” she says, detaching the kitten with a playful roll of her eyes. “He’s our newest rescue. He thinks everyone is his best friend and people are for climbing.”

“He’s adorable.” I reach out to scratch his ears, and he immediately leaps into my lap. I catch him with a laugh as Anthony shifts my plate out of kitten reach.

“Now you’ve done it.” The barista grins as she backs away. “He’s yours for at least an hour.”

“What an honor,” I coo as I shift in my seat, making sure the kitten is far enough away from the table to stay out of trouble. “You’re such a cutie patootie, Salem. Yes, you are.”

“Uh oh.” Anthony watches me cuddle the purring kitten as he reaches for his sandwich. “You think Pudge is ready for a little brother?”

I hum beneath my breath, stroking the now purring kitten. “I don’t know. Maybe, but I can’t even think about it until we’re settled in the city, and there’s a lot to do before then. I have to find a place in my budget and pack everything in Sea Breeze and hire movers and sell my car so I don’t have to worry about parking a vehicle.” I sigh. “And I have to find a way to tell my parents I’m moving to New York without scaring them half to death. They worry about me living alone already and I’ve never lived more than six blocks from where I grew up.”

“That’s hard,” he says, his tone softening. “You guys are close?”

“Yeah. Really close.” I keep my focus on Salem’s little head, as I add, “A part of me is scared to leave them, too, but… I’m almost as scared to stay. If that makes sense.”

“It makes complete sense,” he says without missing a beat. “At least to me. It’s hard to grow or change or become the person you want to be when the people around you are invested in you staying the same.”

I look up, nodding in relief. But I’m not really surprised that he gets it. Getsme. “Yeah, I want to be more than the person I am there. I want to grow and try new things, but I don’t know if I can do that in Sea Breeze. Everyone there has their mind made up about who I am, no matter how hard I try to show that I’m becoming someone different. I just want to be seen for who I amnow, not the anxious, shy little girl I used to be.”

“You don’t seem anxious or shy to me at all,” Anthony says. “Like I said before, I think you’re very brave. I’d like to be half as brave one day.”

I cock my head, my brows drawing together as I shift my attention fully his way. “What do you mean? You lead this wild, adventurous life totally on your own terms, without caring what polite society might have to say about what you do for a living. If that’s not brave, I don’t know what is.”

He frowns and sets his sandwich down with a sigh. But before he can speak whatever’s on his mind, Pudge suddenly leaps into my lap, sending Salem skidding off onto the floor.

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