Page 40 of Reckless Sinner

When I finished cleaning her silky hair, Delaney was a bit more perky again, insisting on washing my hair in exchange. Getting to lean back against her, closing my eyes and feeling her fingers scratching lightly against my scalp as they ran through my hair… it was the closest thing to bliss I’d ever experienced.

“I needed that too,” I admitted. “What we did. Really. I… I like it. I’ve never been able to let go like that before.”

“You can always let go like that with me,” Delaney promised me. “I want to see you, all of you.”

I tipped my head up and back to look at her. She smiled down at me, mischievous and yet guileless.

Was this what my father had felt with my mother? The reason he had been so devoted, and so devastated after her death that it was dangerous to even mention her?

I felt like, for the first time, my father and I had something truly in common: a woman for whom we’d do anything.

Anything.

CHAPTER18

Delaney

Icouldn’t do it.

I couldn’t betray Dante. I just couldn’t. I would have to tell my father that this deal was off.

This would be the first time that I’d ever disagreed with my father on something. My father was a man to be obeyed. And I was starting to think that maybe he had tricked me into obeying him in more ways than I’d realized.

My resolve was strong as I left Dante’s apartment. I was going to tell my father no dice. I wouldn’t betray Dante. I cared about him, I might even—might even—love him.

But the closer I got to home, the more my nerves kicked in. What would my father say? I had never done this before. I had no idea how he would react. But surely—this was mylife. He had as good as pimped me out so that I could help with his stupid sting operation. There was no way that he would keep pushing if I insisted that I was unhappy and feeling used, right?

I was his daughter. He loved me. He would do what was right for me.

When I got home, I found my father holed up in his home office. That didn’t surprise me too much. It was too early for dinner, which we had at the same time every day, and I was just glad he wasn’t still at his office at the firm. If I’d had to wait until he came home to talk to him I would have worked myself into a complete mess of panic and I never would’ve been ablet to say anything at all.

I knocked on the door of his office. The rule was that he wasn’t to be disturbed while he was in there and so far I had never broken that rule, but… if I was already going to make him angry I might as well, right? Besides—if I waited any longer I would lose my courage.

My father looked up sharply as I pushed the door open to enter. “Delaney. You know I’m not to be interrupted. I thought you were one of the cleaning staff.”

Was it cleaning day? I hadn’t noticed. We had a cook who prepared our meals but the full-house cleaning service was only once a week. Two tidy adults, one of whom spent more time at the office than at home, didn’t really make much of a mess.

“I have to talk to you about something. It’s important.”

“Well it must be, if you’re breaking such a basic rule.” There was an edge of patronization to his tone—had that always been there? Had I just never heard it?

I thought of how Dante praised me and how confused and outraged he was by my behavior. What had I been missing? What had gone on in my life all this time, right in front of my face, without my noticing it?

Dad stared at me in impatient anticipation. I took a deep breath. “I’ve decided that I’ve changed my mind. I’m not going to help you take down Dante Russo. I’m not going to lie to him and—have sex with him and date him to get his secrets. You can figure out some other way to take down the Russo family.”

For a moment, Dad’s expression didn’t change. Somehow, that terrified me. I swallowed. “I—I’m just not comfortable with this.” I could hear my voice wavering and I hated it. I hated how weak I sounded. I was supposed to be better than this.

It’s all right, Delaney. You can’t be more than you are.My father’s voice rang in my head. How many times had he said something like that, faking sympathy and support only to be really destroying my self-esteem?

“I want out. I’m not going to play double-agent like some kind of spy. I’m not trained for this, I’m not in law enforcement, I feel dirty. I don’t like it and I won’t do it.”

Dad stood up. He nodded, as if to himself, his gaze on the papers spread out in front of him on the desk. “Well. You do seem to feel strongly on the matter. But Delaney, I’m not sure that you’re seeing the bigger picture here. I can understand. We all get tunnel vision sometimes, seeing only the small, immediate issue instead of sticking to the main goal.”

He walked around the desk towards me. “But think of what you’ll be doing overall. Think of the people who will be helped once the Russo family is done for.”

But… I shook my head. “But you don’t care about helping people, Dad, can we please be honest? You care about the power that’ll come with the position. The promotion. I—I can’t do it for that.”

“You can’t do this to help me?” Dad’s tone sharpened a little. I swallowed hard. He softened again, so quickly that I thought I must be imagining it. “Of course, Delaney, you’re an adult and can do as you please. But I thought… you’ve always been such a supportive daughter. You’ve never disappointed me, even though I know you have every reason to think I should be.”

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