Page 8 of Running Back

Jakk knew that, but it didn’t matter now.

At his silence, Eric shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’d hoped I could take you to dinner and try to talk about things.”

Jakk held his silence and simply stared at Eric. There was no way Eric didn’t see his fury.

Eric ran his hand through his dark hair—like he thought to tear it out. “I uprooted my whole goddamn life for you. The least you can do is have one fucking dinner with me. What am I supposed to do now? I built my entire life around you.”

For a second, Jakk fought the guilt, but he hadn’t been the one to destroy them. “You should’ve thought about that before taking a sledgehammer to everything we had.”

“Everything we had? It’s everything you have. Always has been.” He motioned toward the house. “None of this has ever been mine, and I knew it every day. I knew I had no hope of ever being anything but your secret shame if I didn’t do something.”

“You agreed to everything. I told you how it would be. You knew staying quiet was temporary. As soon as I retired and had us set for life—”

“Bullshit!” The yell cut through the air, startling Jakk into silence. Eric looked more enraged than Jakk had ever seen him, and that said a lot. “You never once thought about me. You weren’t pining for the day you didn’t have to hide me. I was nothing but a convenient fuck, keeping you safe while keeping you fed. Fuck you for that.”

Jakk flinched with every word. He knew he wasn’t faultless. They had equally destroyed each other. That was exactly why it was well past the time for them to move on. He tried tempering his voice. “You’re better off without me. I told you I’ll get you set up in a place to live back home. Start over. Find someone worthy of you and who treats you the way you deserve. To my soul, I know it would’ve been me one day. But I asked too much and we’re too broken now. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

Tears welled in Eric’s eyes. He paced away. His shoulders expanded on a deep breath. He didn’t look at Jakk. “You can tell yourself whatever it takes to sleep at night, but you never loved me. Every time you said it, it was a lie. Love doesn’t look like this.” He headed toward the driveway where his car sat. “Keep your fucking money. That’s the only thing you love.”

The bitterness and coldness rolling off Eric in waves made Jakk’s chest hurt. Every day, he swung wildly between who was most at fault. Eric was right on one thing, though. Jakk did tell himself a lot of lies and performed a ton of mental gymnastics to validate his decisions with Eric. No matter how they had ended up here, they were over and there was no going back. Jakk just wished he didn’t feel like such a bastard.

Rocky didn’t move past the living room or take off his shoes. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with someone this fresh out of a relationship. Love didn’t die that fast. There was a real possibility he should just leave. He should let Jakk’s ex come inside and work things out. Rocky hated this feeling. He loathed knowing he made a stupid decision—again. Every time Rocky swore he would be smarter, he lied to himself.

Jakk came back inside, looking defeated. Despite all his alarm bells clanging, Rocky’s heart squeezed. It was more than obvious Jakk blamed himself for this entire mess. Rocky understood. He, too, had lived with that guilty conscience before. Sometimes, there were no good choices. Jakk had killed himself to become the best, and it shouldn’t matter he was gay, but it did. He had been put in an impossible position between the career he loved and the man he intended to spend his life with. What was he supposed to do?

It was on the tip of Rocky’s tongue to suggest going to a hotel again. He couldn’t leave Jakk like this.

Jakk looked his way. “I’m so sorry about all this.”

“You have no reason to apologize.”

Jakk’s defeated expression somehow got worse. “I completely understand if you want to bail. I’m sure I look like a complete ass right now.”

“What kind of friend would I be if I walked away on your bad days?”

A sweet smile touched Jakk’s lips. “Probably a smart one.”

The weight lifted from Rocky’s chest. He was where he was supposed to be. Rocky patted the couch next to him. “Come, tell me how to make it better.”

Rather than sitting where Rocky indicated, Jakk crossed the room and straddled Rocky. His mouth found Rocky’s lips. Rocky’s hands automatically slipped beneath the back of Jakk’s shirt as he opened for Jakk. Every earlier doubt fled. Nothing mattered except the now. They were together.

“I need you inside me.”

Rocky’s stomach muscles clenched. His body responded like his dick was already in Jakk’s hand. “Lead the way.”

Jakk stood and pulled Rocky to his feet. Rocky held Jakk’s hand on the way to his bedroom. The moment they crossed the threshold, Jakk whipped his shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Rocky followed his lead. He toed off his shoes andcontinued stripping while Jakk found condoms and lube. Rocky didn’t even notice a single detail about the bedroom. All he saw was Jakk.

Once nude, Rocky crowded Jakk’s space. He molded against Jakk’s back and followed the waistband of his jeans with his hands until he reached the button. Rocky listened to Jakk’s breathing turn ragged as he slid his zipper down. He swore he still felt Jakk’s black mood lingering. That wasn’t happening on his watch. Rocky shoved Jakk’s pants down his hips, taking his underwear with them. With the slightest push, he had Jakk bent over the edge of the bed. Jakk completely surrendered. Rocky let his hunger grow as he lubed Jakk’s hole and suited up. Jakk’s body was so beautiful. Rocky never got tired of admiring it. But Rocky didn’t think that was what caught him with Jakk. As angry as it made Rocky with himself, considering the bullshit from just five minutes ago, he wanted more with Jakk than sex. There was no chance this would end well.

Even the knowledge that this could only end in heartache didn’t stop Rocky from lovingly stroking Jakk’s back and ass as he led his cock to Jakk’s hole. He took his time, teasing Jakk and stretching him.

“Please?”

The whispered plea nearly broke Rocky’s brain. He thrust. His eyes fell closed as the heat engulfed him and Jakk’s moan caressed his ears. He rocked inside him, savoring the sensations. It had been so long. Rocky had forgotten how good it felt to fuck. He couldn’t lie to himself, though. Rocky had bent Jakk over this bed as punishment and to steal the intimacy from the moment.He wanted to remove his heart. Jakk intended to break it, and Rocky couldn’t handle it.

Jakk pushed backward like he loved every second. “Yes. Fuck. Just like that.”

A wave of sadness unexpectedly washed over Rocky. He wanted to be special. He was never special. Eric still owned Jakk’s heart. He wasn’t ready for Rocky. This was just… nothing. Rocky didn’t know if he spaced out or froze or both. He also didn’t know how long he stood there—paralyzed with terror for his mental health. This would break him. He couldn’t do this again. Rocky didn’t know if he could survive this.

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