Page 77 of Hook, Line and Single

‘And then, of course, we missed the ship. I know it was stressful, but it was also one of the happiest times of my life, because I was with you. I meant what I told you about not looking for another relationship, and part of me hoped today would go differently, I promise. I wanted the attraction I felt towards you on holiday to have faded so we could just be friends, but spending this time with you has just reinforced the way I feel. The fact is, Ruby, that I’ve fallen for you. Hard.’

He stops speaking and the silence falls like a dark cloud. My mind is in turmoil, trying to work out whether I’ve led him on in some way. Yes, there was the whole massage thing, but I managed to keep that PG in the end. I’ve always been perfectly clear with him that friendship was all I had to offer. Why is he doing this? I can feel the tears rolling down my cheeks and dropping off my chin. This has been such a lovely day, and it’s all ended in flames.

‘I’m so sorry, Cameron.’ I gulp through my tears as I reach for the door handle. ‘I can’t.’

Before he has a chance to say anything else, I yank open the door and get out of the car, shutting it firmly behind me. I’ve already got my key in my hand by the time I reach my front door, but a quick glance shows that he hasn’t followed me. Once I’m safely inside the flat, I watch through the net curtains as he sits there for what feels like an age, before starting the engine and driving slowly away. Only once I’m sure I’m alone do I allow the full floodgates to open, collapsing on the sofa and sobbing my heart out. I feel exactly the same as him, of course I do, but I can’t let myself go there. I just can’t.

27

By the time Sam gets home, early in the evening, I’m all cried out; I just feel empty and desperately sad. Even Samson has been no comfort as, having initially taken my sobbing as an opportunity to get attention, he evidently decided after a while that I was becoming altogether too needy for him and went out instead.

‘So. How was it?’ Sam asks enthusiastically. ‘Are you hooked on shooting now or was it Dullsville, Arizona?’

‘The shooting was good,’ I tell her, trying to summon some of the happiness I felt earlier today. ‘I hit quite a few, actually.’

‘Really?’ She looks sceptical. ‘I didn’t have you down as the field sports type. This isn’t the top of a slippery slope, is it? If you start foxhunting, I’ll take a dim view.’

‘Foxhunting is illegal, and it’s not the top of a slippery slope. In fact, there is no slope at all.’ My mask crumples and the tears start to fall again.

‘What on earth happened?’ Sam is on the sofa next to me in an instant, wrapping me in a hug.

‘Nothing,’ I murmur into her shoulder.

‘Nonsense. Something happened, otherwise you wouldn’t be so upset. Come on, spill the beans.’

I pull away from her and look her in the eye. ‘You’ll think I’m stupid.’

She grins lopsidedly. ‘I’m sure we’ve both thought each other stupid many times over the years. That doesn’t mean we have to hide stuff from each other. Come on, Ruby. Tell me what happened. Maybe I can help you with it.’

‘You can’t help.’

‘It won’t stop me trying. Even if I can’t help, it will make you feel better. A problem shared and all that.’

In spite of myself, I laugh through my tears. ‘You know that isn’t true, don’t you? Sharing a problem doesn’t halve it at all. All you’ve done is bring someone else down, and you’re no further forward than you were when you shared it.’

‘I know I’ve said this before, but you, my lovely, are such a cynic. I’m sure you never used to be like this when I first met you.’

‘Yeah, well, I have a lot to be cynical about.’

‘Are you going to tell me what happened to make you so upset, or are you just going to retreat inside your shell and refuse to come out?’

‘Not going to lie. The shell sounds pretty attractive at the moment.’

‘You’re being ridiculous now. This is me you’re talking to. If you can’t talk to me, who can you talk to?’

I sigh. ‘You’ve got a point there. I did try talking to Samson, but it turns out he’s not cut out to be a therapist.’

‘Samson has many qualities, but empathy isn’t among them,’ she agrees.

‘He’s still the handsomest cat in Margate.’

‘And you’re trying to change the subject.’

I sigh. ‘Fine. Cameron told me he likes me.’

For a moment, her face is a mask of incomprehension before the penny obviously drops. ‘You mean, as inlikelike?’

‘Yes.’

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