Page 69 of Hook, Line and Single

Sam, Robin, Cameron and I had grabbed a table together for dinner and, after a certain amount of negotiation, we agreed that we’d join the organised tour to Pisa today. I was a little disappointed to begin with because I was looking forward to seeing Florence and visiting the Uffizi gallery. Although Sam and Robin had said they were quite happy to spend another day in Florence, it seemed a waste of their time, and the fact that the Uffizi was sold out when I checked online sealed the deal.

‘Did you know it’s not just the tower that’s leaning in Pisa?’ Sam asks, her nose in a guidebook as the bus makes its way towards the city. ‘According to this, both the cathedral and the baptistery are also sinking.’

‘What’s a baptistery?’ I ask.

‘They generally date from the early church, when lots of adults wanted to be baptised into the rapidly growing Christian faith,’ Robin explains. ‘You’d often have an area where people would make their vows, before being led into the central chamber where they’d undergo full immersion baptism. Sometimes, baptisteries would be incorporated in the main church building, but they were often separate structures, like the one in Pisa.’

‘Who needs a guidebook when I have you?’ Sam remarks.

‘It is kind of my area of expertise,’ Robin replies with a smile.

‘Of course it is.’ She pats his knee and leans across to give him a kiss. Normally, a public display of affection like this would make me slightly uncomfortable, but they seem totally at ease with each other, and she’s not simpering in the irritating way she was the last time we saw them together. I have tried to imagine him wearing a clerical shirt and a dog collar, but I can’t see it.

‘Are you OK to chat to Sam for a bit today?’ I ask Cameron quietly. ‘I think things between her and Robin might be getting serious, so I’d quite like to find out a bit more about him.’

‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’ He looks dubious. ‘She might not thank you if she thinks you’re sticking your nose in.’

I smile. ‘Let’s put that to the test, shall we?’ I turn to Sam. ‘Sam, you don’t mind if I steal Robin for a chat, do you?’

‘Knock yourself out,’ she replies. ‘Of course, that means I’ll have to entertain Cameron. How do you feel about that?’

‘I have no secrets,’ I tell her before turning to Cameron and whispering, ‘Don’t tell her anything.’

‘I’m not sure there’s much to tell that she doesn’t know already,’ he murmurs back.

‘Just be careful, that’s all. Sam’s a Rottweiler if she thinks there’s hidden information.’

He laughs. ‘Oh, and you’re a pussy cat, I suppose. Robin’s not about to be grilled to within an inch of his life at all.’

‘I just want to check he’s on the same page as Sam, that’s all.’

To his credit, Robin seems completely relaxed as I fall into step next to him. Sam and Cameron are ahead of us and, from what I can see, their conversation is flowing naturally. I’m slightly anxious, knowing that they’re probably talking about me, but I make a conscious effort to focus on Robin.

‘It sounds like you and Sam are serious about each other,’ I begin.

‘I hope so,’ he replies. ‘I’ll confess that I didn’t have particularly high hopes of meeting a match when I was persuaded to sign up for the cruise, but she and I just seemed to click from the start.’

‘You know she’s not churchy though, don’t you? How do you see that working out?’

He smiles. ‘That’s one of the things I like most about her. You probably think I should be on the lookout for a clichéd vicar’s wife, don’t you? Someone a bit blousy, who’s an expert baker and feels her ministry is serving cups of coffee and running kids’ clubs.’

‘That does seem a more natural fit,’ I admit.

‘Don’t get me wrong,’ he continues. ‘Many of my colleagues are married to people exactly like that, and they’re lovely, but I’d feel stifled. Being a vicar is intense; it’s not like your average nine-to-five job.’

‘Don’t you only work on Sundays?’

He laughs. ‘I wish. It’s a six-day-a-week job and, if some of my parishioners had their way, I wouldn’t get a day off at all. I’ve got three parishes, which means three of every type of meeting on top of all the pastoral visiting and occasional offices.’

‘Occasional offices?’

‘Sorry, church speak. Weddings, baptisms, funerals. Any service that falls outside the regular schedule, basically. The point is that it’s full-on.’

‘OK, but surely a churchy wife would be an asset in that scenario? I’m not marrying you and Sam off, don’t worry. I’m just pursuing this to its logical conclusion.’

‘I get where you’re coming from, but if my wife was churchy as well, we’d be at risk of the church dominating every aspect of our lives. The last thing I want is to spend my precious downtime talking about the latest scandal in the flower arranging group, or whatever.’

‘Sam’s not a bad flower arranger.’

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