Page 48 of Hook, Line and Single

‘I didn’t know what to say. For a moment, I wondered if he was joking, but I could tell from his expression that he wasn’t. I just said, “Oh.”’

‘Hm. How did he react to that?’

‘He asked if I had any questions. He told me about how he’d felt called during his final year at university, and a bit about the selection process and stuff. It was surreal. He made it sound so normal and banal, but all the time I was freaking out inside. Anyway, I tried to keep my poker face on until we got back to the ship, and then I came to find you.’

‘I still don’t get what’s so wrong with being a vicar,’ Cameron observes.

‘Sam had a bad experience in a church recently. I’ll tell you later,’ I explain before turning back to her. ‘OK. Let’s put this in context, shall we? I think we can understand why he didn’t tell you from the outset, but why do you think he decided to tell you now?’

‘I don’t know,’ she says miserably. ‘Because God hates me and wants to ruin my life at every turn?’ She puts on a deep booming voice. ‘Here you are, Sam. Here’s the prize you could have won if you’d saved yourself for marriage.’

‘Has he said anything about your past? I mean, you’ve admitted that you’ve told him.’

‘No, nothing.’

‘But if he’d had a problem with it, don’t you think he would have found a way to distance himself from you, rather than sharing more?’

‘Maybe he sees me as a project. He earns brownie points from God by helping me to find the Lord and turn my life around.’

‘I don’t think he’d be kissing you the way he has been if that was his plan. There would be all sorts of ethical problems with that. Has he placed any religious expectations on you? Now that he’s told you, is he expecting you to pray with him, for example?’

‘No. He was just the same as he’s always been.’

‘Right,’ I tell her. ‘So he’s the same Robin who wasn’t bothered by the fact that you’ve had boyfriends before and isn’t expecting you to turn into some kind of nun overnight. You’re clearly keen on each other, so what’s the problem?’

‘How do we take this into the real world, for starters? I mean, church is his whole life and I’m not churchy at all. And if we’re not going to take this into the real world, what’s the point of carrying on?’

‘I’d suggest that’s something you need to talk to him about. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like he’s not that bothered about whether you’re churchy or not. He just likes you for who you are. Maybe that’s enough. Has he had girlfriends in the past?’

‘Yes, but not since he started training for the priesthood.’

‘So, for all you know, he might have an even more colourful past than yours.’

‘I doubt his past has Threesome Pete in it.’

‘Neither does yours, technically. Pete falls into the category of “lucky escape”. I’ll bet you Robin’s got a few stories like that as well. Ferocious women with their eyes on being Mrs Robin and ruling the vicarage with a rod of iron.’

This does finally raise a glimmer of a smile. ‘I doubt any of them would be sexual deviants though.’

‘You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Now, go and talk to him. He’s probably worried sick that he’s spooked you and ruined everything.’

She drains the last of her wine and stands up. ‘You’re right. Thanks, Ruby. You’re the best, has anyone ever told you that?’

I smile back at her. ‘You may have mentioned it once or twice.’

‘Can I make an observation?’ Cameron says once she’s gone. ‘It seems to me that you’re often a rather better friend to Sam than she is to you.’

‘She’s usually better than this,’ I explain. ‘But when she falls for someone, she falls hard. Controversially, I think Robin could be quite good for her. She’s dated some real dickheads lately, and I don’t think you’re allowed to be a dickhead if you’re a vicar, are you?’

As we finish our drinks and head inside to get changed for whatever Barry has lined up for us this evening, my mind is very much focused on the conversation I hope Sam and Robin are having. If he’s opening up to her, that must be a good sign, mustn’t it? I just hope she doesn’t panic and ruin everything.

17

We haven’t seen anything of Sam or Robin since her sudden appearance at the pool yesterday afternoon. They didn’t come to the Marco Polo social, which was a shame as they missed Barry pretty much dissolving into a puddle of ecstasy when Brad and Gail went red. They also missed out on Barry’s latest game, worryingly entitled Pass the Partner.

Our fears that it was going to prove to be some horrifying variation of strip poker, where the singles each had to remove a layer of clothing when the music stopped, thankfully proved to be unfounded. Instead, Barry had made up a number of parcels, in the centre of which were either names or an activity. The ladies had to pass round the blue parcels containing the names, while the gentlemen passed round the red ones, which had the activities. The logistics were impressive, as everyone ended up peeling off the final layer at the same time, thus revealing who they were to be paired with the next day, and an activity they had to complete.

‘You’ve got to give the guy credit,’ Cameron had observed as the couples had peeled off, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, to make plans. ‘I don’t know what they pay him, but he’s earning every penny.’

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