Page 80 of Even if You Fall

My chest lurched in response to the understanding smile she sent me because it screamedmask, and I didn’t want her mask between us right then, or ever.

“Are you asking me to?”

That smile softened. “Adam, I can’t even get my parents to go to therapy. No, I’m not asking you to consider it.” Before I could wrap my head around the realization that she’d somehow gotten so deep under my skin in such a short time that I would go back to therapy...forher...she added, “Listening to you made me wonder if a part of you wants to. But I also got the feeling you might be worried you’d get the same response.”

I just stared at her as I processed her gentle observation that packed a punch. Because, no, I hadn’t wanted to try a different therapist. Not consciously. But a feeling like someonefinallyunderstood me settled deep in my chest at her words. Like I’d been waiting for someone to understand how hopeless the first therapist had made me feel.

Like I was just stuck with this because I was causing it.

“Need to know if that was the last time I get to kiss you,” I muttered and watched as her eyes danced and a soft blush darkened her cheeks.

“Do you want it to be?”

My head slanted. “You already know the answer to that. But this is about you and what you now know.”

She matched the tilt of my head and narrowed her eyes playfully. “Are you asking if I’m gonna go running for the hills? Not that I’m much of a runner—especially in this thin air.”

“I told you this isn’t something to take lightly.”

“Oh, I’m not,” she said honestly, even as a little smile crept across her face. “I can very plainly see what this does to you and how it controls you. I see how much it scares you, and I hate that for you. But youtold me, which means you don’t wanna let it control you anymore. You wanna try...with me.”

“It should scare you,” I told her as I took a step closer.

“And maybe it will when it happens,” she said, not bothering to pretend that it mightnot.

“Chloe,” I began, my head shaking and chest twisting as I thought of how to get her to understand, “I could kill you without ever waking up. Don’t you get that?”

She held my stare for long moments before releasing her response on a breath. “No.”

“Chloe—”

“I’m not saying you can’t, I’m saying I don’t think you would.” She stood and took the last step to erase the distance between us. “You said you’ve never told another woman—that your siblings don’t even know. So, you choosing to tell me means something, unless I really am dreaming, or just utterly delusional.”

Despite everything, my chest pitched with a dull laugh as I drew her into my arms. “I told you because I don’t know how to stay away from you. I told you because I fell for you, evenwhen I wanted to hate you. I told you because I will do whatever necessary to keep you safe, even if that means removing myself from your life.”

A soft, stunning smile was pulling at her lips by the time I was done. “And that’s why I don’t think you would.”

My hands flexed on her hips. “You can’t know that.”

“No,” she agreed, then tapped one of her hands lightly against my chest. “But when you’re alone, the only real danger is to yourself and your apartment. I think a part of you would know you weren’t alone and wouldn’twantto hurt me. Besides,” she added, her smile shifting into something playful, “I’m fairly confident I could wake you up.”

I gave her a look that said she shouldn’t be so sure. “You don’t know what you’d be up against.”

“I’ve taken you down once before, and that was on accident.”

“That was me off guard,” I said in low warning before repeating, “You don’t know what you’d be up against.”

“Then tell me how to wake you up,” she pled softly, never once losing that light in her eyes.

And I didn’t want her to.

Lifting one of my hands, I brushed her hair away from her face and secured my hand at the back of her neck. “This isn’t something we have to worry about right now,” I told her. “I don’t plan on sleeping with you anytime soon. Not for any of the reasons your mind comes up with,” I hurried to add before her insecurities could rise.

Even though I shouldn’t have found out the way I did, I knew Chloe’s entire romantic history because of the case we were working. I knew Vance had gaslighted her into sleeping with him when she’d wanted to avoid that until she was married. I wouldn’t be another regret for her.

And with us leaving this house, I had no reason to be anywhere near a bed with her.

“You didn’t sleep last night,” she suddenly realized. “I asked if you had this morning.”

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