Page 97 of Even if You Fall

“I didn’t give Asher the chance to leave me behind.”

Adam’s face fell. “Chloe . . .”

“I wasn’t afraid of what you would do,” I said over him. “And you needed to know what would happen in that situation, or you would always be afraid of the possibility.”

“I am afraid of the possibility,” he said as if I should be too. “You shouldn’t have—Briggsshouldn’t have let you anywhere near me.”

I trailed the tips of my fingers through his hair before securing them at the back of his neck. “Do you even wanna know what you did?”

He didn’t have to say anything for me to know the response he was holding back. The fear and worry clashing in his eyes was enough.

But I still said, “I had a feeling anyone from your time overseas would only fuel the flashback. Asher did.” Leaning closer, I added, “I didn’t.”

That look didn’t leave him as he requested, “Explain.”

So, I did. From the worrying crash all the way through him sinking to the floor with me in his arms.

By the time I finished, he’d settled against the hallway wall. When I’d slid to the floor beside him, he’d pulled me close so I was propped against his bent legs and facing him.

“You stopped when you heard me,” I said softly.

“But I might not the next time.”

I nodded before lifting one of my shoulders. “Maybe not,” I conceded, then hurried to clarify, “But again, I don’t think you stopped because it wasme. I’m not trying to imply I’m special or...or anything. I just think hearing someone who wasn’t part of the flashbacks you’re reliving was enough to bring you back from it.”

“Or maybe it was just you,” he countered softly, making my heart go wild in response before it lost all sense of rhythm when he lifted one of his hands to my cheek. Softly trailing his fingers along my cheekbone and cradling my head in his large palm in that way I was quickly becoming addicted to—like I was precious. “Regardless, we don’t know what I’ll do, so you can’t approach me when I’m like that anymore.”

I couldn’t promise that, and I didn’t bother lying to appease him.

When he realized I wasn’t going to say anything, he gave me a look before saying, “I’ll try therapy again with a new therapist. But you can’t put yourself in that danger.”

“I don’t think you’d do anything,” I said, reminding him of our conversation from Colorado. “I told you I thought you wouldn’t hurt me, and after today, I’m sure of it.” When he started protesting, I added, “Adam, youreachedfor me. Regardless of what you’re seeing, there’s still that part of you that’s so afraid of what you’ll do to me—someone. Anyone. And when you heard me, you stopped. You reached for me. You held me.” I pressed a hand to my chest. “I am not afraid of you.”

Bemusement settled over his features as he searched my face. “You have a lot more confidence in me than you do yourself.”

Embarrassment swept through me and burned hotter when he continued.

“Every time I think we get on the same page, something happens to show me how wrong I am. Like in Colorado... you were so sure I was trying to trick information out of you—that I kept proving that—when I was just fighting how hard I’d already fallen for you and trying to protect you from what just happened. Like now...” he continued meaningfully, his voice dropping lower, “you keep lessening how significant you are and grouping yourself with other people like I haven’t shown you how different you are for me.”

My spirit ached as I warred with myself—wanting to blindly accept everything he was saying, while not knowing how to. My lips parted to try to explain it, only to shut.

“I know we’ve had a rough start,” he admitted. “I know that’s entirely on me, and I’ll take every blame for it. But if I’m wrong in what’s happening here, tell me.”

“You’re not—” The rest of the words caught in my throat because I knew I would fall for his words now, but by the end of the night...“I told you,” I began on a shamed whisper. “I told you what it was like not being able to trust your own mind, and it’s true. But this is more than that.”

Unable to hold his gaze anymore as my embarrassment deepened, I let my stare fall to my lap as I confessed, “Adam, I’m not—I’ve never been the girl who captures guys’ attention. I’ve never been thesignificantone. I’ve always been the invisible one.”

“Or maybe you’ve been so focused on keeping that mask in place that you haven’t noticed the way you captivate everyone.”

A disbelieving laugh tumbled past my lips. “Right,” I murmured, already having forgotten he’d tried convincing me of that this weekend. My eyes playfully rolled as I lifted my stare to him again.

“Chloe, you really don’t see yourself the way the rest of us do,” he said seriously. When my smile fell, he added, “Trust me on this.”

But that was the problem. I didn’t know how to.

Not trusthim, just trust that this was happening forme.

With a fortifying breath, I said, “You’re not wrong. This is”—I gestured between us, then let my hand rest against my chest as I continued baring my soul—“this is terrifying and thrilling for me because this feels more real than anything in my life ever has. But it took so long for me to believe Owen could actually want me, and you know how that ended. So, believing this is real won’t come naturally to me.”

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