Page 33 of Even if You Fall

I’d waited it out at Kaia’s birthday party for another hour before finally heading home, knowing if I’d left too early, it would’vemade Asher even more mad since Lainey had planned the entire thing.

But all the while, I’d been lost in thoughts of Chloe...and Gray.

Desperately trying not to think of how he might finally be winning her over and what they might be doing, all while I kept replaying the two of them standing together. Too close. Her bright smile aimed at him as he’d touched her skirt and made her laugh.

By the time I made it home, I’d felt like I was going insane between knowing I needed to let them happen and feeling like I might kill Gray if he touched Chloe.

I’d never cared about a girl enough to be truly jealous. Growing up, sure, there were times I’d felt something like jealousy. But that was different. That’d never been real—I’d been a kid. Then once I’d started going on missions with Monroe, the guys, and the other members of our Special Forces team, I’d known I never wanted to get close enough to a girl for her to matter.

Partly because I hadn’t known if I’d survive each mission. Mostly because, well, the things we saw changed all of us—I hadn’t wanted to put that on anyone. But even if it hadn’t, even if I wasn’t still haunted by that time of my life, we’d somehow found ourselves tangled up with a mafia family in this new line of work. Why would I want to put anyone in that kind of danger?

And yet, there I was, pacing my living room as jealousy ate at my chest, all while I reminded myself of all the reasons we couldn’t trust Chloe.

I came to an abrupt stop when I realized I’d forgotten about Rush and his apparent attraction to Chloe too. Dragging my hands over my face, I tried forcing away thoughts of her and why my closest friends all seemed so captivated by her, just as there was a harsh knock on my door.

Looking in that direction, I contemplated not answering for a handful of seconds before finally heading over there.

Just as I reached the entryway, Gray’s muffled, “I know you’re there,” sounded through the door.

Surprise poured from me as I took the last few steps and flipped the locks to let him in.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re the worst?” he drawled as he pushed into my condo before I could get out of the way.

“What?”

“This close,” he said as he continued deeper inside, holding up his hand to show me his index and thumb nearly touching, just as he had the day before. “Thisclose with Chloe, and I had to come to a screeching halt because of you.”

Wasn’t about to apologize for that.

“And what’s with you?” he asked on a huff, glancing over his shoulder and giving me an incredulous look before slipping around the corner, into the kitchen. “Since when do you take information a person’s giving us anduse it against them?”

I drew in a steadying breath before following him into the kitchen, my head shaking when he held up a beer in question. “What are you doing here, Gray?”

He paused from popping off the cap, his expression telling me I should’ve already known the reason. “Work.”

Lifting one of my hands in a placating motion, I defended, “Just wasn’t expecting you to show up here—or anywhere, really—after I heard you were taking Chloe home.”

Using the bottle to point at me, he said, “Again, night might’ve ended differently if it weren’t for you.”

Again . . . I wasn’t about to apologize.

“I don’t even know why you’re trying with her,” I found myself saying, ignoring that voice whispering Gray was the key to making Chloe quit. “I don’t know why you hit on every girl youmeet when you’ve been hung up on Monroe since she first got placed on our team.”

Gray’s hand paused with the bottle only halfway to his mouth. A deep, decade-old longing flashed in his eyes.

“She’s never gonna give you the time of day when you chase every girl that passes you,” I informed him, and not for the first time.

Another few seconds passed before Gray gave a subtle shake of his head and finally took a quick drink. “It’s never gonna happen anyway,” he muttered as he lowered the bottle.

“If you’d?—”

“It wouldn’t change anything,” he said over me, already knowing what I was going to say. “I could’ve ignored every woman from the day I met Monroe through today, and it wouldn’t have changed a thing. We’d still be right here.”

I was sure that wasn’t true—Briggs and Rush were too. But I didn’t push any further. Besides, I was only pushing him because I hated who his sights were on now.

“Why are we talking about Mallory?” he asked on an irritated laugh, then stalked out of the kitchen, leaving me to follow. “Chloe told me everything she knew about Vance, but I didn’t have my tablet. Grab yours so we can transfer my notes onto there.”

“Everything?” I asked, jealousy fueling my shock.

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