Page 79 of Even if It Hurts

Because I clearlywasn’tjust the nanny anymore.

“Don’t worry,” he said as his smile grew, “I’ll be gone once he gets back.”

“Oh, that isn’t—I’m not—we aren’t doing—it isn’t like that,” I stammered and felt my face flush with heat as he choked back a laugh. My lips parted to continue defending what was and wasn’t happening between Asher and me, but I pressed them tightly together before I could make it worse.

Cameron didn’thaveto leave because it really wasn’t like that. Just that morning, I’d still been torn between my devastation over Asher’s words and how I easily fell into a place of comfort with him and his surly demeanor. I’d still been berating myself for falling a little more for him each day.

So, no, Cameron didn’t have to go.

But I also wasn’t sure I wanted to have the upcoming conversation in front of anyone else.

My eyes widened with surprise and a whisper of dread as Cameron left his post for the first time, moving across the hardwood floors just as soundlessly as Asher seemed to, even though he was easily six and a half feet tall and solid muscle.

“I’ve really just been the nanny this entire time,” I hurried to defend myself and Asher when I realized he was coming directly toward me. “Honestly, all I know for certain is that Iamhis nanny.”

Cameron’s head moved in tight, quick jerks as he stopped just before the couch, his voice soft and low when he said, “He tells me everything, so I know you’ve been more than that for longer than you’ve worked for him.”

Even after the confession from Asher that afternoon, Cameron’s words still sent a frenzy of excitement and disbelief coursing through me as he continued.

“I also know what you overheard.” He lifted his eyebrows as if waiting for me to deny it or explain my side, but I was too engrossed in what he was about to tell me, knowing I would likely never get another opportunity to getthisside of things. “But, Lainey, I gotta tell you, you really don’t know what you heard.”

This was one of the things Asher and I needed to talk about, and we would, no matter what Cameron told me then. But I still found myself saying, “Unless I’ve been wrong about him all this time—unless Asher demands honesty from everyone else but doesn’t give the same in return—I heard him well enough.”

“No, that guy’s frustratingly honest,” he confirmed, stamping down a good chunk of the wings in my stomach. “I’m not saying you didn’t hear him, or that he didn’t say those things, I’m saying you don’t know what you heard.” He glanced toward the second floor before giving me a pleading look. “For my sake, and everyone else’s in the office, let him explain.”

“I will,” I promised and noted the gratitude in his eyes as he rocked back a step.

Just as he started turning to go back to the post he’d been taking up all evening, he stopped and gave another hesitant look toward the second floor before meeting my stare. “You in love with him?”

A stuttered breath ripped from me. “What? I don’t—what?” I gripped the ice-cold glass tighter and curled it against my chest, needing something real and solid to hold onto when that question seemed to tilt the entire world on its side. “I-I-I can’t be,” I stammered. “I hardly know him, and he...” My words trailed off and stare unfocused as I thought about the man upstairs.

Was I in love with Asher Briggs?

I’d been in love with Jackson for so long that I hadn’t realized until recently that my love for him had shifted to something bound from duty. Even over the long months of dreaming about a man I’d thought I’d never see again, I’d been sure true love was what I’d had with Jackson.

I hadn’t known there was anything else...until Asher. Until I’d been infuriated and swept away by him. Until I’d been broken by him and had found myself because of him. Until I’d learned there was so much more about a person than what they showed you.

Butlove?

I’d fallen in love with Jackson over a lifetime. This was...this was...“I can’t be,” I repeated softly. “It’s too soon.”

“Is it?” Cameron challenged. “Because he was still talking aboutthe girl from the coffee shopbefore you ever showed up here.”

It wasn’t anything I hadn’t already heard today—not really. But my heart still faltered before taking off at a thunderous pace.

“And if he told you about his past?” Cameron went on, voice so low I had to strain to hear it even though he was only a handful of feet away from me. His hands lifted slightly before falling to his sides again. “Lainey, that’s a trust he doesn’t extend to anyone except me, and I’m like family to him.”

I’d been told Cameron was the only other person to know about Asher’s past, but hearingthis? It changed exactly what it meant for Asher to have shared that with me.

“You don’t have to love him now or ever,” Cameron went on. “And if you know about his past, then you know not to tell him that youdolove him.”

I didn’t know that.

But before I could fully grasp what Cameron was saying or attempt to figure out what sayingI love youhad to do withAsher’s past, Cameron’s expression shifted into a fierce plea when he added, “But Asher doesn’t fall for people. He’sneverlet himself fall for anyone. So, if you aren’t there with him, he needs to know. He needs to know if you have no intention of leaving the relationship you’re currently in.”

My chest pitched with the force of my next inhale because the unspoken question was just as clear as his judgement, but I didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was more surprised that Asher really had been telling Cameron everything or because I didn’t want to explain myself to someone I really didn’t know at all.

With a somewhat apologetic nod, Cameron turned and drifted back to his spot at the entrance of the foyer, leaving me staring vacantly at my blanket-covered feet until fingers brushed over my shoulder a couple minutes later.

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