Page 76 of Even if It Hurts

But I found myself fumbling out a “R-right, coming,” as I hurried to dump my purse and the blueberries we’d picked at the breakfast bar before starting for the two-story windows, where the nearly hidden set of stairs began. My heart hammered much harder than it should’ve when I took that first step.

“She started up right before we got back,” he said as I hurried up the stairs, his voice sounding farther and farther away. “Hasn’t stopped. Refused to eat lunch.”

“Uh,” I whispered when I reached the landing, only to find it empty of them as Asher continued, pulling my attention to the glass-enclosed room beside me.

“I’ve tried toys and reading to her. I’ve tried just holding her,” he said as I hesitantly stepped inside, desperately trying to keep my eyes on my feet and failing.

My gaze skipped over his bedroom that was—unsurprisingly—like the rest of his apartment: staggeringly dark despite the wall of windows. Terribly immaculate and bare. Cold in that unlived in way.

By the time I landed on where he stood beside his large bed, he was pulling a black shirt over the under shirt he’d already slipped on. Kaia was sitting on the bed near him. Face red and streaked with tears as she screamed with all her might.

“I even tried making those faces you make at her,” he admitted as he tried getting a sock from her tight grasp. “I need that,” he informed her, his voice softening as he gently pried open each finger.

As soon as the sock was taken from her, Kaia sucked in a stuttered breath and somehow reached a new pitch that had a headache forming within seconds.

I slipped up beside Asher and swept her into my arms. “Hi, pretty girl,” I whispered to her as I turned to leave the room. “Why so sad?”

“It’s me,” Asher said just as I reached the doorway. “Right?”

I turned at the defeated words, sure I heard him wrong. “What?”

He let out a breathless huff and glanced at me from over his shoulder before reaching for his boots. “She isn’t like this withyou. And you said it...I’m hostile. Angry. You said she can feel that.”

“Asher, that isn’t?—”

“Look at her, Lainey,” he ground out and turned to face where I stood with his still-screaming niece. “She’s different with you. One day with me, and she?—”

“And me,” I said over him. “She was with me too.”

“But I was angry,” he maintained. “I was—” He mumbled a curse and dragged his hands over his head. “I was irrationally angry after meeting your boyfriend and dad. And then this.”

If he hadn’t already shocked me earlier that morning, I was sure that statement would’ve left me speechless, frantically trying to figure out what all it could mean. As it was, my heart just gave a little hiccup as I filed away yet another thing I wanted to dissect later before I argued, “She could be crying over anything.”

His head shook, the movements small but harsh as he bent to jerkily lace up the tactical boots. “Maybe her social worker’s right.”

My chest ached at the shame and defeat in his voice. “Asher, you don’t believe that.”

He didn’t respond until he’d grabbed the small duffle bag beside the bed and was stalking past me. “I don’t know what I think anymore.”

I faltered a little before hurrying after him all while Kaia’s screams held steady and my headache grew.

“Asher, this isn’t the first time she’s had a crying fit that lasted hours,” I tried reminding him. “Y’all made it through those, and you’ll make it through this one and the next.”

His head moved in nearly indiscernible shakes as he quickly crossed the expansive apartment. “I wanted to talk to you,” he said instead. “There’s...so much we need to go over—startingwith where you’ve been staying the past week.” He shot me a look that was equal parts accusation and worry.

“A hotel a couple blocks away,” I admitted and felt something inside me shrink at the frustration that stole across his face.

But he just gave a firm nod, then pulled his phone out of his pocket, “I have to go,” he mumbled as he checked the screen, “but we’ll talk when I get back.” Those dark eyes lifted to mine as he pocketed his phone. “About this morning, about why you’re living in ahotel, and about the person coming up the elevator.”

My attention snapped that way before shifting back to Asher as he continued.

“I’ll tell you everything later, Lainey, I swear. But right now, I need to know if you’ll be okay with one of my guys being in here tonight.”

“Wait, what?” I asked, nearly choking over the question and—embarrassingly—almost reaching the same pitch as Kaia.

“I don’t have time to get into it right now, but I can’t leave y’all alone.”

“What do you mean?”

---