Page 92 of Even if It Hurts

Jackson’s stare focused on me, a determined sort of desperation filling his eyes. But just when it looked like he was going to try for the same argument, a defeated huff left him instead.

With a heavy exhale, he dragged a hand through his hair before leaning closer to me. His words soft but no less intense than before. “This future is all I’ve ever known, Lainey. I’ve grown up knowing I would take over the ranch—mergeour businesses. I’ve grown up knowing I would marry you.”

“I know,” I whispered because it’d been the same for me, and he knew that.

“There was never a second option,” he went on as if my parents hadn’t tried ingraining that in me as well. “This is my life. This isourlife.”

“That’s just it, Jackson; theseareour lives. We should be allowed to live them how we want.”

He studied me for a long while before admitting, “I don’t know how to move forward without you.”

I lifted a shoulder and drew Kaia closer to my chest. “You do. You’re just afraid of what happens when you step off the path our parents want.”

Jackson’s mouth parted only to shut. His gaze snapped up and narrowed just as fingers swept over my shoulder and tenderly curled around my neck as an iced caramel macchiato was placed in front of me.

And there went my heart, taking off in a dead sprint, so unlike all the other times today.

This wasn’t fear. This was the fierce, uneven pounding that threatened to escape the confines of my ribs every time I so much as thought of the man I was now looking up at.

Dark, dark eyes greeted me as he passed his lips across my forehead before settling onto the bench beside me.

If I hadn’t been so relieved to finally have Asher near after so long of worrying over him, I was sure I would’ve realized how awkward it was to be sitting between him and Jackson long before I did.

As it was, it was all I could do to look away from the dark shadows showing his sleepless night, and those eyes that gave away nothing.

No hint as to what was happening at his office. No hint that he was worried about the mafia and their retaliations. No hint asto what he was thinking about finding me here—in public and far away from his apartment. With Jackson, no less.

“You remember Jackson,” I mumbled, finally feeling the weight of Jackson’s stare and every ounce of that awkward tension.

A rumble of assent sounded in Asher’s chest as his gaze flashed Jackson’s way. But he just took Kaia from me in a move that seemed as unconscious as it was surprising. Like he hadn’t even thought about reaching for her. Like he’dneededto hold her.

“Like I said,” Jackson began in an oddly subdued tone, drawing my attention back to him. “I get now why you wouldn’t quit.” He jerked his chin meaningfully toward Asher.

I didn’t defend my job or why I’d been doing it. I didn’t tell Jackson nothing had truly happened between Asher and me until just last night. I didn’t remind him that he’d been insomesort of relationship with Heather—physical or emotional—for years now.

I just watched as he stood and muttered, “Bye, Lainey.”

“Bye,” I said a few seconds too late because I was already so focused on the disconcerting energy rolling off the man still beside me.

“You brought me coffee,” I mumbled lamely as I waited for what I knew was coming. “Thank you.”

“This is dangerous,” Asher said in a way that had my head snapping in his direction.

I’d expected him to be furious and reprimand me. But he’d delivered the words so indifferently as if he was sure I already knew, but still needed to say it out loud.

My head bobbed a few times before I admitted, “I couldn’t stay in your apartment any longer.”

“What’s wrong with my apartment, Miss Pearson?”

The subtle tease of his question had an unexpected smile tugging at my mouth, and for the first time in what felt like so long, I felt my body relax. Turning to face him, I grabbed my coffee and placed an elbow on the table, letting my head fall into my hand as a heavy sigh bled from me.

“Where do I begin?” I asked playfully before taking a long drink. “I just felt like I couldn’t breathe in there. Not with all the unknowns.”

“So, you thought going into public was better?”

I searched his unreadable eyes, trying so hard to figure out what he was really thinking, when the easiness of his tone was so unlike anything I’d expected from him and was throwing me off balance.

“I’m waiting for you to be mad.”

---