Page 88 of Even if It Hurts

And that understanding—that easy acceptance—nearly brought me to my knees and made mewantto tell her.

I roughed a hand over my jaw and moved back until I was pressed to the island. My mouth parted, but my stomach wrenched, and it felt like a boulder lodged in my throat as twisted memories flashed in front of me.

“I’m sorry,” Lainey whispered from directly in front of me before one of her hands fell over the thunderous beating of my heart. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have?—”

“I won’t do that to you,” I managed to say, then had to clear my throat. “I won’t put those images in your head. Just know it was said to me—to my brother and sister—all the time. Like that was supposed to make what our mom was doing okay or make us compliant.”

Lainey’s forehead lowered to my chest, just beside her hand, and a shuddering breath left her. “I’m sorry.”

“Rush shouldn’t have said anything to you.”

“What if he hadn’t?” she challenged when my arm wrapped around her back, pulling her close. “What if I said something later that just...Asher, I needed to know.”

I pressed my knuckles to her chin until I was met with sorrow-filled eyes. “What do I ask for? Always.”

Lainey shook her head stubbornly, refusing to answer.

“Even if it hurts,” I reminded her.

“Forcing someone to relive their trauma is different than brutal honesty, Asher.”

“Have you seen my apartment lately?” I asked softly, gently, and watched as a horrified realization settled across her features, as if she’d forgotten about the décor we’d just been arguing about not even half an hour before.

Before she could fall into another ramble of apologies, I challenged, “Lainey, can’t you see you’re helping me with that?”

She drew in a breath to say something, only to release it as her eyebrows pulled together pleadingly.

“Rush never should’ve said anything,” I repeated firmly, then let my fingers drift along her skin until I was cradling the back of her neck. “But we would’ve had to have this conversation one day. If I’m lucky, you’ll help me through this too.”

Wonder and awe slowly replaced everything else until a resigned breath tumbled from her as she pushed against my chest. “You can’t say things like that if you want me to?—”

I crushed my mouth to hers, swallowing the rest of her words and her surprised whimper. Weaving my fingers through all those curls, I tipped her head back even more to deepen the kiss for long minutes that weren’t nearly long enough. Savoring the feel of her against me and the way she gripped at my shirt like it still wasn’t close enough.

“Give me a couple days,” I teased against her lips. “I’m sure I’ll find a way to make you hate me.”

The corner of her mouth twitched. “You think it’ll take that long?”

Her light laugh was still dancing across my lips when I leaned in for another kiss just as my phone began ringing.

For a second, I almost ignored it completely. But then I remembered I’d never taken it offWorkmode, which meant it was someone from my team since Lainey was in my arms.

And yet, even as my fingers curled around the device, I found myself silencing it instead and pulling Lainey closer as I turned so our positions were flipped. But just as I brought my mouth down to hers, the ringing started again.

“Get it,” she said, pushing against my chest when, just a second before, she’d been pulling me toward her.

“It’s someone from my team,” I mumbled apologetically as I reached for my phone again. A whisper of irritation slid into my veins when I saw Rush’s name on my screen, but I wasn’t sure if that was because he was interrupting or because he’d talked to Lainey about things he shouldn’t.

“Not the time,” I said in way of answering.

“It has to be,” he ground out, sounding in a way that instantly had me on edge.

I took a step away from Lainey but kept one hand on her waist as if some part of me knew I needed to keep her close. Protect her. “What happened?”

“Office was broken into and destroyed,” he explained. “Security company called me when they couldn’t get ahold of you.”

A curse tore from me as I turned, already heading out of the kitchen with Lainey’s hand wrapped up in mine. “Get Kaia,” I told her quietly, then gently urged her toward the hall. Once she was heading that way, I asked Rush, “Where are you?”

“At the office.”

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