Page 81 of Even if It Hurts

I nudged his leg with my foot at the evasive answer. “Don’t be vague. You promised to tell me everything.”

“Like wanting you to be mine.”

Itook in every part of Lainey’s reaction slowly, savoring each detail.

The flare of surprise in her eyes. The blush staining her cheeks. The way her lips parted with a nearly inaudible gasp. The combination brightening her expression until only a ghost of doubt lingered, all while she sat curled up on my couch like shebelongedthere.

I wasn’t sure anything would ever mess up my life as perfectly as Lainey Pearson.

“Before I continue, I need to know where you and Jackson stand.”

“He asked me to marry him,” she said a little shakily before clearing her throat. “I said ‘no’ and told him we no longer had any business with each other.”

I fought back the relief and hope that surged through me and asked, “When was this?”

“Monday.” The word was a whisper as if she was worried about my reaction.

Considering I remembered exactly how she’d shown up that morning, Jackson had every reason to worry. But before I could respond, Lainey hurried to continue.

“What happened that day wasn’t because of my refusal to marry him—not entirely, anyway—and I told my dad that. Which, speaking of, what all did you say to him, since you apparently told him about Jackson?”

“That he should be less worried about you working for me and more concerned that the man he wants you to marry sent you to me with bruises.”

Lainey stared at me, seeming to wait for me to continue, before pointedly saying, “You were in there a long time.”

I felt my jaw twitch as I tried controlling my anger over the way her dad had ripped into me as soon as we’d gotten into his office that morning—all things I was sure he and his wife had been using against Lainey, given what little she’d told me.

And I hated them for it.

For the responsibility they’d placed on her shoulders since she was young. The guilt they’d forced on her these past years, and even more so since she’d graduated. The life they’d been trying to push her into and the dreams they’d been doing everything to crush.

“I got a taste of what he’s been saying to you first,” I mumbled and watched the way her face fell just slightly.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “He’s just?—”

“Lainey, don’t apologize for him,” I said on a bitter huff, but I could see she still wanted to. I could see she wanted to try to explain something away that she had no part in. “I let him get out what he felt he needed to, said my piece, now it’s done.”

She worried her bottom lip before hesitantly asking, “And that’s all you said to him?”

I wavered as I thought of how best to answer before finally telling her, “I think we’ve gone about this conversation in the wrong order—this entire day, really.”

“Really?” she asked, feigning sincerity. “We fought, I cried, I couldn’t figure out a way to stay mad at you. You told mydad what happened with my boyfriend.Ex,” she hurried to amend. “Ex-boyfriend. Oh, and that was after the encounter with Jackson, which was...well, it was something. Now you’re telling me you’re worriedthe mafia”—she said the words on a harsh whisper and glanced around as if worried someone might overhear—“will retaliate against you, and somewhere in there, we picked blueberries.” She gestured to me with the half-full glass. “I can’t imagine how the day could’ve gone any better.”

A breathless laugh left me. “There’s still time to leave before we continue,” I offered.

“You expect that little of me?” she asked, seeming more curious than offended.

“No,” I told her honestly. “After the way you handled yourself last year when you could’ve easily screamed or tried to get away from me, I knew exactly what to expect of you tonight. Doesn’t mean a part of me isn’t hoping you might.”

“Might leave?” she clarified. At the dip of my head, she said, “Because it’s safer for me to hate you...safer not to be near you.”

“Extremely.”

A dismissive noise sounded in the back of her throat as she settled a little deeper against the couch, and that small sound, that subtle move, had me straining to keep myself from reaching out to touch her. Pull her into my arms. Kiss her the way I’d been thinking about for months.

Forcing back every one of my wants, I asked instead, “What made you say ‘no’ to Jackson?”

A whispered laugh that sounded both panicked and frustrated tumbled from her lips as her stare fell to her knees. “I thought it was obvious.”

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