Page 65 of Even if It Hurts

Just when it looked like he was going to make another request, he roughed out a sharp breath and asked, “Where?”

“My farm.” At the hurt and suspicion that briefly flared in his eyes, I hurried to explain, “We opened for blueberry picking yesterday. I thought it’d be fun to take her through the fields and to see the animals.”

Asher’s head bobbed ever so slightly as he finally passed Kaia over to me, a smile spreading across her chubby cheeks when I reached for her. “Hi, sleepy,” I murmured as I snuggled the adorable little girl close, knowing the starfish outfit she was still in was the source of her being so quiet and cuddly this morning. Turning for the kitchen, I asked, “Wanna go on an adventure today?”

That earned another smile, and I thought I might love these times the most—where she was sleepy and fully focused on whoever was holding her. Then again, there was something about the shrieks of excitement and joy as she played that tugged at my heart just as much.

“Let’s get you fed first,” I said as I sat her in the highchair. Once she was seated, I unzipped the top of the outfit, freeing her arms so any breakfast damage would only happen to her onesie.

Before I could even decide on what to give her that morning, adingechoed through the large apartment. And something about that sound, about Asher slipping away almost completely unnoticed, had my soul wrenching.

I glanced in the direction of the foyer, not that I could see anything but the kitchen from where I was standing, then let my stare fall to the unused espresso machine that still had his note taped to it.

But I reminded myself Asher Briggs wasn’t why I was here. He never had been.

Turning, I looked at where Kaia was playing with the sides of her highchair and vowed, “We’re going to have the best day,” before hurrying through the kitchen.

After spending the early morning with Kaia, I got her ready for a day outside, figured out the impossible stroller, and walked her the couple blocks back to my hotel. My heart swelled at the way her sweet face lit up with each person we passed, as if this were the most exciting day of her young life, and we hadn’t even gotten to the farm yet.

Once I got her car seat strapped into the rear section of my SUV, I climbed into the driver’s seat and started toward Huntley, studiously ignoring the décor still littering my passenger side and what the duplicates in Asher’s apartment might signify.

Nothing good had ever come from trying to figure him out.

Nothing good had ever come from hoping he might be someone he clearly wasn’t.

Ihadn’t known a week with Lainey could be so miserable.

After seeing just how badly I’d hurt her, after hearing her repeated pleas for us to not talk about what I’d said, I’d realized it wouldn’t have mattered even if she had let me explain it all. She wouldn’t have heard the truth of it.

So, I’d kept everything about Kaia ever since, just as she’d asked.

Rush had been quick to inform me I’d been taking my anger and regret out on my team and hadn’t wasted time letting me know how much of an idiot he thought I was for not trying harder. But he hadn’t seen the pain in Lainey’s eyes. He hadn’t seen her tears. He hadn’t heard Ada’s pointed,Jackson proposed to our girl, when I’d walked into the office that same day—only twenty-four hours after I’d found the marks on her jaw.

Infuriating. Excruciating. Maddening.

I wasn’t sure which described this week best, but they all fit.

Over the next few days, I’d looked for a ring during our Kaia handoffs. But even though I hadn’t seen one yet, it was hard to decipher what that might mean when her expression was so somber during the few seconds I saw her.

And even though she was coming over this afternoon to watch my niece while I worked an event, Kaia and I had just pulled up to the Pearson farm.

And it . . . was not at all what I’d been expecting.

Huntley hadn’t been what I was expecting.

Even though it was close to Dallas, I’d never been out that way and had been surprised by just how small and charming the entire town was. Like a movie set come to life.

But the Pearson farm?

It was so much bigger and nicer than I’d anticipated, there was an entire parking area that was nearly full, and following the painted, wooden signs into the fields was like going into a carnival.

There were food trucks, kids running around with their faces painted, people gathered around pens filled with farm animals, and families taking pictures in front of large, farmhouse-style displays.

I adjusted Kaia in my arms and wondered how I was ever supposed to find Lainey in all this, while wondering why exactly I’d come.

I hated crowds.

Then again, Ada’s less-than-subtle,Big weekend at the Pearson farm,when she’d been leaving last night had been enough of a hint for me to know I needed to be here. I just hadn’t realized it would be like this.

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