Page 64 of Even if It Hurts

With how utterly crappy your day was, I’m assuming you forgot we opened for blueberry picking yesterday. Jackson and his parents showed after you left last night, mostly to take care of the animals they bring for the petting zoo, I think. But they still talked about you...it wasn’t great. And head’s up, Jackson’s planning another proposal.

I know you’re mad, and I get it. I swear I do. But it wouldn’t hurt for you to show for opening days.

Ihadforgotten, even though I was sure they’d been talking about it over dinner on Sunday.

The opening week of blueberry and pumpkin picking was always our busiest, with the opening weekend being somethingof a spectacle. And not that we weren’t always around, but the entire family made it a point to be seen that first week.

I’d never missed an opening day until yesterday.

On top of the well of guilt in my stomach, telling me to be there for my family no matter what it cost me, there was a whisper of sadness tugging at my chest. Even with feeling trapped under the weight of expectations and the farm, opening weeks had always been something to look forward to throughout my life.

Almost like a little celebration for our family.

And I hadn’t been there.

Glancing at the ascending floors, I tapped out a response and slipped my phone back into my purse just as I reached Asher’s apartment.

Everything’s just so complicated. But I’ll get over there if I can...just maybe not in the way Mom and Dad expect or want me to.

I drew in a steeling breath as the doors slid open and tried getting back into the headspace I’d been in just minutes before. One where I was absolutely fine with seeing Asher Briggs and wasn’t affected by his presence or words or anything about him at all.

He was my boss, and I was his employee. I knew his thoughts on me, and he was allowed to have them. It was better to know where he stood anyway.

But as I made my way through the massive room that acted as a living room, my steps slowed as a weird sensation I couldn’t accurately describe washed over me.

Because there were plants scattered around the apartment. The blankets and throw pillows I’d bought were on the couches.And there was a large basket tucked away in the corner, overflowing with things for Kaia.

All things I was sure I’d removed from this very space the day before—things I would’ve sworn were still in my car because I hadn’t wanted to look like a psycho intent on moving in by hauling them through the hotel.

I slowly walked over to one of the couches, blinking slowly like that might make the pillows disappear, then ran my hand over the blanket once I got there.

Real...which meant I had an extraordinary and slightly terrifying imagination because I could vividly?—

“Lainey.”

I turned at his gruff tone and realized all my pep talks had been for nothing because it took all my strength to stand tall and hold his stare when my body wanted to crumple under the words I could still hear so clearly.

“Hi,” I managed to say without sounding like I was being repeatedly crushed by insults I was sure I was never meant to hear. “You can say ‘no,’ but I was wondering if I could take Kaia somewhere.”

“I’m sorry.”

My head moved in sharp, fast jerks as I reached for where he had a sleepy Kaia curled against his chest. “It really isn’t?—”

“Let me explain.”

“I don’t want you to!” The words were meant to be forceful—to let him know exactly where I stood on this. But instead of the severity I’d intended, they’d come out on a strained wheeze as tears pricked at my eyes. “You said we weren’t talking about last year, and I’ve respected that. So, respect me when I tell you I don’t wanna talk about this.”

“Lainey—”

“Ever, Mr. Briggs,” I said over him. “I fixed what I’d already done.” I swung my hand in the direction of the couches andmentally added,or maybe I didn’t...“And I’ll make sure your apartment is always exactly how you like it, so you don’t have to worry about what you might come home to. But as I said last night, unless it’s something to do with Kaia, I do not want to speak with you.”

He watched me for long seconds, his jaw ticking as those dark eyes stayed locked on me, as pleading as they were furious. “Give me a minute to explain.”

I’d drawn in a quick breath to stop him, but the plea in his words caught me off guard and had me stumbling over my own. “You never give anyone chances to explain themselves, Mr. Briggs, and I know you well enough to know you can’t explain away what you said yesterday.” I brushed at a tear that managed to slip free and quickly added, “Now, can I please take Kaia somewhere today?”

For so long, I expected him to continue trying.

But there was nothing else to be said. As he’d told me, he preferred honesty so much that he wasn’t even the kind of person to lie about how he was doing. So, I knew he’d meant every word the day before.

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