Page 55 of Even if It Hurts

Awe wound through me as I studied the machine for a few seconds longer before hurrying to the massive pantry. Like before, it only took a second before I found what he wanted me to because everything was so neat and had its own place, and this...this was all new.

Syrups and sauces and bags of espresso, all neatly arranged and with another note taped to the front of one of the bags.

Inside were the directions for how to make a caramel macchiato. At the bottom, he’d written,If it’s wrong, blame the guy at the coffee shop.

I wondered for only half a second how he knew what my favorite drink was before a stunned breath punched from my lungs as I realized just how closely Asher must’ve been paying attention when we’d met last year. But that also meant he remembered it in a way that suggested he thought about it...the encounter we weren’t supposed to talk about.

“About that . . .”

A scream ripped from me as I turned to find Peyton standing there, arms folded over her chest and scrutinizing me in a waythat seemed solely specific to the Briggs siblings—with equal amounts intrigue, irritation, and intimidation.

“Hey—hi,” I stammered as my pulse tried to find a normal rhythm again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—I wasn’t expecting you to still be here.”

“I noticed,” she said with a lift of one of her eyebrows before glancing away. “I’m leaving for the airport in a minute, but I wanted to see this.”

I quickly took stock of the neat pantry before trying to peek outside it at whatever she was looking at. “This?—”

“You,” she said over me as her dark eyes snapped back to mine. “Your reaction to what he did for you.”

A bemused sound left me as I exited the pantry when she stepped away. “The espresso machine?” At Peyton’s confirming hum, I hurried to brush her assumption away. “This isn’t for me. He’s just letting me know I can use it.”

“You sure about that?”

No.

But I wasn’t about to say that when Asher’s sister was looking at me like I was the root of every problem in her life.

“Because this isn’t Ash,” she went on before I could respond, haphazardly pointing at the machine as she did, “and it’s bothering him that it’s here.”

My stomach sank.

With a handful of words, she’d taken the excitement of this unexpected gift and twisted it into worry and guilt. In a matter of seconds, I’d been pulled back to last week, watching as a fuming Asher told me to get rid of the things I’d added to his living room.

I understood now why that conversation happened at all. I understood that his cold, pristine apartment was a visual representation of how haunted he was by his past. But I’d unintentionally pushed him, bringing back all those demons.And now, he was making himself uncomfortable, forcing himself to live with the past all around him, just so I would use his apartment.

“I didn’t...I never asked for that,” I finally said, the words soft and low.

“Oh, I know,” Peyton said with that same intensity. “But it’s here. For you. Thenanny.”

“That’s what I am,” I assured her.

“I’m sure.” She made a face, letting me know she in no way believed me. “A young, beautiful woman justhappensto become the nanny for an ultra-successful, ultra-rich, handsome guy.” One of her shoulders lifted. “Because that’s how life works.”

“It does in this situation,” I maintained, a seed of anger blooming in my chest at her implication. When Kaia’s mindless chatter turned into a squeal of impatience, I glanced her way before hurrying through the kitchen, grabbing what I needed to make her breakfast.

“I didn’t know who I was gonna be working for,” I went on. “My great-aunt works for your brother—whom I’d never realized I’d met and had only been told how horribly grumpy and irritable he was over the years. She’s the one who called me. She’s the one who hired me—without Asher’s knowledge, mind you.” I placed a hand on my chest, nearly getting mashed banana all over my shirt when I faced Peyton again. “And I’m more than qualified for this job. I have my master’s in early childhood education. I have certifications needed for childcare—including infants.”

Peyton stared me down for long seconds before asking, “Wanted to get that off your chest for a while?”

My next breath left me in a rush as I whispered, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I just...I have a lot of people telling me why I shouldn’t be working here.”

She lifted her head in understanding but didn’t say anything until I had the banana mashed and added applesauce to it. “When had you met him?”

I paused on my way to the table, but only looked in her direction for a second before continuing to where Kaia was impatiently waiting.

“You said you hadn’t realized you’d met Asher. So, when’d you meet him?”

“Last year,” I admitted as I gave Kaia a bite, choosing my words carefully as I explained, “I ran into him at the coffee shop. He saw some guys put a tracker in my purse and said he was saving me from being kidnapped.” My eyes rolled, even though my expression was all excitement and joy for the little girl in front of me. “I still think that was an exaggeration.”

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